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Passions in Poetry

square, circle, triangle

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 02-16-2000 12:23 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

-square, circle, triangle-
A square once white,
Greyed by all it had seen,
Collapsed in a crowded hall.
Some squares nearby
Knew how and why
It had finally let itself fall.
But mostly it was seen
As a shadowy dream;
Just a tile from the floor or wall.

A circle then gave a loud speech
But an ellipse eclipsed the words.
It rolled over to the podium spastically,
And with its appearance proved quite drastically
That true round wasn't the only way to be born.
This admonition caused painful revelation;
The more perfect shapes tried to exit the hall.
But since the flat-faced doorknob had covert sympathies,
They could not get out at all.

Finally! It was triangle's turn to make a stand.
Two of the shapes were so clearly out of hand.
The squares were either beseeching or ignoring a fallen friend.
The circles were spinning like quarters in their haste to find an end.
But, unfortunately, triangle was in the wrong room.
The shape was the only of its kind, so couldn't get through.
It made many points, but the circles didn't like its spin.
Even the lone ellipse said triangle didn't fit in.
The squares thought it a lesser version of themselves.
So triangle decided there was no message to send.
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Breathe~
Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 319
Washington...


1 posted 02-16-2000 12:53 AM       View Profile for Breathe~   Email Breathe~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Breathe~

My head is spinning...*L*

This is clever!  

You have a unique style for sure...


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


2 posted 02-16-2000 01:03 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks. This poem was more an excuse to experiment than anything else. I got to get a little humor in there, and some subtle puns. It's all good.

Mike
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


3 posted 02-16-2000 09:30 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

hey can I ditto the author's comments?
"a little humor, some subtle puns....its all good"!!! liked this much...hmmmmm I think I must be a triangle....most times I feel like I am in the wrong room too....good work  
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 02-16-2000 11:19 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Nice work. I always enjoy a thought provoking piece. Well written and I can see you put much thought into this.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


5 posted 02-16-2000 11:44 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Very whimsical and a joy to read!


Corinne
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 02-17-2000 12:40 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, all.  

Mike
(not exactly sure what shape he is)
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


7 posted 02-17-2000 12:50 AM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

thank you for a great read.

this
coming
from    a
true  triangle...


(Well I tried to make it at least look like one.)(Anyway, good experiment)
Chris


 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


8 posted 02-17-2000 12:59 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

bsquirrel, LOL, Great Read! And so much fun!
And this time, I promise to shut up.
Nikkisweet
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 184
Tx, Dallas


9 posted 02-17-2000 01:34 AM       View Profile for Nikkisweet   Email Nikkisweet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nikkisweet

Nice poem.  So what is the secret to writing good poems?  I know I haven't found it out yet considoring how bad I write.  I love to write its just I guess I don't understand it as well I think I do.  By the way..thanx for responding to my poems.  You're the only one who does.  They must be pretty bad.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 02-18-2000 12:22 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

CMG,
Oh no! Don't make me rhyme about UNDISCOVERED shapes.   Glad you enjoyed.

serenity,
No need to be quiet. I like your commentary, and am still waiting for the inevitable backlash. (just kidding)

Nikkisweet,
You need confidence to want to do things your way, and be able to separate what's important and true from how people might react to your work. Actually, that's pretty much how to go through life; successfully for yourself. And "through" isn't the word I'm looking for. "Savor"? Closer, but still not exact.

Mike
dash rendor
Junior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 21


11 posted 02-19-2000 10:58 PM       View Profile for dash rendor   Email dash rendor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dash rendor

Great.  I always read your work.  You make everthing so clever and exciting.  The spin you add to your words add so much flavor and color.  Nice job.  Even your experiments inspire.
dash rendor
Junior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 21


12 posted 02-19-2000 11:00 PM       View Profile for dash rendor   Email dash rendor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dash rendor

Great.  I always read your work.  You make everthing so clever and exciting.  The spin you add to your words add so much flavor and color.  Nice job.  Even your experiments inspire.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


13 posted 02-19-2000 11:10 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Hi, dash.

Thanks twofold.

Mike.
Chris Goodman
Member
since 01-28-2000
Posts 95
Issaquah, Washington usa


14 posted 02-19-2000 11:21 PM       View Profile for Chris Goodman   Email Chris Goodman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chris Goodman

I can not say enough that I love imagination.
I like the way this poem works & it was a joy to read.  Thanks for thinking so hard sometimes it is difficult to warp your brain and really write a good piece.
Chris


 Blue Moon
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


15 posted 05-22-2002 07:39 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

*bows*

She said burn ... together.
-TON

 
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