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Passions in Poetry

on the edge of goodbye

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Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


0 posted 02-15-2000 06:32 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Corazon


I fell hard
hard enough to break my dream
and lucky for me
I was
smart enough to not put it back together
it had to happen
my strength, my friend
because I just watched
your fingers
slip over
beyond my reach
you need to go
more than I need you not to
so I fell beforehand
to keep me from dying now
on the edge of your
goodbye

my wishes hold you
still...



[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 02-16-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


1 posted 02-15-2000 06:35 PM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

Strong effective imagery here, I liked it.
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


2 posted 02-15-2000 06:40 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

This is amazing writing!  I love this piece.  Sometimes it's hard to stand by and let go, but often times it is the only thing we can do. Beautiful poem, I'll be looking for more of your work!

 It matters not how strait the gate;
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--W.E. Henley


Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


3 posted 02-16-2000 09:19 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

thanks beki...and tara....sigh...yep...specially online friends, the distance gives you no choice, but to wait hope and pray
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 02-16-2000 09:33 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

*sigh* this one gave me chills for some reason....probably because I know the feeling well
((((hugs))))
Breathe~
Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 319
Washington...


5 posted 02-16-2000 10:50 AM       View Profile for Breathe~   Email Breathe~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Breathe~

Very powerful...

"you need to go
more than I need you not to"

this line really got me...I have been there...

I'm so sorry you are hurting...*HUG*


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


6 posted 02-16-2000 12:28 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

This one deserves a big hug m'friend!!! HUG!!! I can feel your sorrow...you've conjured up some great images with this one!! You hang in there, girl!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


7 posted 02-16-2000 12:46 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

This one hurts to read... for I know all about those wishes... *S* Great work!
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


8 posted 02-16-2000 12:53 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

hoot_owl_rn thanks ruth...yes...loving someone sometimes means letting go...not easy....thanks much  
  
Breathe~ "I have been there..." thanks for the understanding...big hugs for you too

devina thanks...big hugs back
  
suthern "This one hurts to read" that is a compliment to my writing I know...but so sad that it is true...it hurt to write too... thanks my friend  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


9 posted 02-16-2000 12:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is sad and beautiful, Corozon! Wonderful writing!  

Denise
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


10 posted 02-16-2000 01:10 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

*sigh* I love

"you need to go
more than I need you not to"

I was thinking something similar earlier on..

HUSG


 Ouvrir mon coeur et âme
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


11 posted 02-16-2000 01:17 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

"because I just watched
your fingers
slip over
beyond my reach"

Wonderful, descriptive writing...and so easy to feel as well as read.

Claire
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


12 posted 02-16-2000 02:15 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Oh, you have such a wonderful, fresh way of expressing.  I like it!!
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


13 posted 02-16-2000 02:28 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon


Denise thanks, you always say the nicest things  
RainbowGirl, yep its hard when loving means letting go …sigh
Meadowmuse thanks, most of my poems are about "feelings" I envy the poets who are more diverse
Martie  glad you liked, like your way of expressing too  
            

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


14 posted 02-16-2000 02:57 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

The way you can transfer your feelings to paper without losing anything in the transformation is truly remarkable. This one speaks volumes.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


15 posted 02-16-2000 03:31 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Very, very nice.  I've believe we have all been in a relationship at a certain level and stayed longer perhaps because the other did not want to let go of us.  I can quickly think of two like that and my holding on made it harder for them to leave and harder for both of us emotionally.   James
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


16 posted 02-16-2000 05:15 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Corazon, I really liked the ending very honest I think... Parker

so I fell beforehand
to keep me from dying now
on the edge of your
goodbye
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


17 posted 02-16-2000 05:23 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

Balladeer, thank you...am glad my feelings come through clear, some poems like this, tell a story, and I am not always sure that it will mean anything to anyone but me...sigh

jm...thanks ...and yes its hard to know where the line is....there's always a what if?

haleyja...thank you, I have just reached this point of honesty...was living in my dream before...
Corazon will be notified of replies
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