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Passions in Poetry

Untitled

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Enola
Member
since 02-11-2000
[First Post] 138
England


0 posted 02-15-2000 04:21 AM       View Profile for Enola   Email Enola   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Enola

The first poem I ever wrote, I couldn't think of a title, any suggestions are welcome:

A laughter line,
Holds together a bouquet of flowers,
Posted regularly,
Never received.
The first bud of winter,
Developed in excess
Dies,
A premature, wasted, hollow potential.
It pretentiously throws into the bouquet,
The first to be received,
Returned to sender.

© Copyright 2000 Enola - All Rights Reserved
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


1 posted 02-15-2000 04:33 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Deep thoughts are within
So sad that a flower did not bloom
One of Natures wonders had to die
I love nature
Nice poem and welcome to Passions

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

angelswing
Senior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 718
United Kingdom


2 posted 02-15-2000 07:27 AM       View Profile for angelswing   Email angelswing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angelswing

Dear Enola,
You have nothing to worry about with your poetry, your early worries are unfounded, this is great, now you just need to write some more, welcome and welcome .
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 02-15-2000 11:50 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

What about using your final line "Return to Sender" as the title?
Welcome to passions by the way  
infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 86
somerset england


4 posted 02-16-2000 05:05 PM       View Profile for infinat3 sadn3ss   Email infinat3 sadn3ss   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for infinat3 sadn3ss

i love you debs
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


5 posted 02-16-2000 06:46 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Welcome to the family! Please check your email!  
Wizzard
Member
since 02-09-2000
Posts 235


6 posted 02-16-2000 07:44 PM       View Profile for Wizzard   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wizzard

Welcome Enola
Nice writing.I hope to see more from you.




 Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
And the begining of a new one.

Betty Gravitt
Member
since 09-11-99
Posts 225
Georgia United States


7 posted 02-16-2000 10:53 PM       View Profile for Betty Gravitt   Email Betty Gravitt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Betty Gravitt

Welcome to the Passions family. And a  wonderful family it is. I liked the peice. Keep writing.

 B Gravitt

angelswing
Senior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 718
United Kingdom


8 posted 02-18-2000 11:59 AM       View Profile for angelswing   Email angelswing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angelswing

I recon a good title for this great metaphorical poem would be 'Male - lost or found', notice the deliberate spelling mistake, I think this would signify the way a friend can become more or less from a simple action,

be careful, and think hard about any offers you get .
Love Tom .

PS. I hope it all turns out the way you want with no.9 .


 With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .
sonjes
Senior Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 573
North Carolina


9 posted 02-19-2000 12:24 AM       View Profile for sonjes   Email sonjes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sonjes

The great thing about poetry is "untitled" is always an acceptable title.  Keep your gift truly yours and you will do fine!
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


10 posted 02-19-2000 12:29 AM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

Wonderful writing and welcome to passions.
I agree with sonjes...untitled is ALWAYS an acceptable title...(I have lots and lots of untitled...it's almost like a serial with me...lol)(thinking of starting an anthology and calling it...you guessed it..UNTITLED)lol
anyway..thanks for the enjoyable read.

Chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


11 posted 04-03-2000 11:18 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

***debs,
this is absolutely fantastic.
i am sorry that i missed it first time around...
at least this way it gets shot up to the top where it belongs...
love always.


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 04-03-2000 12:11 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Excellent beginning, please send us more
Welcome to passions
Liz
CherylLynnMckee
Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 219


13 posted 04-03-2000 12:24 PM       View Profile for CherylLynnMckee   Email CherylLynnMckee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CherylLynnMckee

Great first post...wonderful writing..welcome to Passions!

 
just_another_fe
Senior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 504
MICHIGAN


14 posted 04-03-2000 10:15 PM       View Profile for just_another_fe   Email just_another_fe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit just_another_fe's Home Page   View IP for just_another_fe

good job welcome to passions i was also thinking "return to sender" for the title
 
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