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Passions in Poetry

A Rant(Written together with Craig)

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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


0 posted 02-14-2000 06:33 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mistikman

If any are interested in what has resulted from the mentor/mentee pairing of me and Craig, here ya go  

They say roses are green,
And swear violets are white.
Why do they write poems,
That all sound so trite?

Why not write of matters,
About things in real life.
With words that are powerful,
That can cut like a knife.

Why do some write poems,
That aspire to be shallow?
Which spin tales of cliché,
That are read by the callow.

There's much rubbish written,
At the drop of a hat.
About how they are smitten,
By the color of a cat.

They write of roses and heaven,
Or daffodils in a row.
Stretch two verses to seven,
Using all the nouns they know.

They swoon at a raven,
Or seagulls white as snow.
Then commence mis'behavin,
Telling us things that we know.

They should write on matters,
That pluck at our soul,
Not dumb pitter-patter,
That has no real meaning at all.

I curse all would be poets,
(And those that shouldn't as well)
Sad are the all know it's,
Who haven't a story to tell.

Of subjects in poetry,
I have only a few.
But rest assured dear reader,
To me there's naught more true.

So I write grandiose verses,
Like these that take flight.
Please don't send me your curses,
As I bid you adieu and good night.
© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


1 posted 02-14-2000 06:56 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig


All the good bits those where the meter is intact were written by Mistikman.

I added the not so good bit's and put him off his meter where I could.  

At least I'm learning .........slowly.

 Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool:
But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet.

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


2 posted 02-14-2000 07:10 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

heh, you liar   yer just trying to make me look good in front of the real poets  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 02-14-2000 08:07 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Cute poem guys! Glad to see this is working out...now, tell me again, which one of you is the teacher?  
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


4 posted 02-15-2000 12:32 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Tis well enough to pen a verse
That's sober and profound,
But, trapped in depths with no reprieve,
The dawn would find us drowned ...


To everything there is a season, gentlemen, and "shallow" poetry is no exception.  The old brain needs a rest now and then ...  

Excellent collaboration here -- may I say "bravo?"  

--Kess



 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 02-15-2000 08:58 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I've been silently following this duo in Teen/mentor forum...you guys did a good job on it and write well together. Mistikman....you've got a good teacher who can give you lots of sound advice...take everything he has to offer.
Craig...you got yourself a fine student there, think he may teach the "old" dog some new tricks  
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


6 posted 02-15-2000 12:46 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Well Travis. You did an excellent job with this. Good job training Craig there...lol. I enjoyed the theme of this when you first showed it to me and I love the finished prduct. Well done, both of you.
sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 12-03-1999
Posts 932
just about where I want to be


7 posted 02-15-2000 12:51 PM       View Profile for sweetcollege_girl   Email sweetcollege_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sweetcollege_girl

HA HA very funny guys! lol! but green roses? come on....get a grip on reality! Roses are Orange! lol

stay cool ya'll

~~Lavada~~

 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


8 posted 02-15-2000 05:49 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Poet deVine- thank you, as always, and he is   *Craig breaks in and points at Mistikman*
Craig: He is!

Skyfyre- thank you   This poem was originally meant to be a big joke, as it spends the whole poem complaining about shallow pointless poetry and has no real depth in itself  

hoot_owl_rn- Thanks, heh I appreciate it. We are probably both learning a lot from this  

Marilyn- Thank you, your support is appreciated  

sweetcollege_girl- The color of a rose is limited only by imagination   Thank you  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


9 posted 02-15-2000 06:42 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Very very clever, fellows...but what about Limericks?? Surely you can't mean that my Irish ink is entirely  wasted on the Limerick??!!

  Ahem...

There once was a "Grandiose Verse"
whose writers, two poets, no worse,
divulged with their "inkling,"
both poetically "thinkling"

what initially began as a rather complicated discourse regarding the pleasures, virtues and validity of constructing poetry for the sole purpose of examining the effect and sheer magnitude of monumental negative ramifications brought about by the reading and writing of simple, uncomplicated but often verbally eloquent formats of creative composition...

Then begged us their names not to curse!!

Cute poem, Mystikman and Craig    

E.Fudd
Junior Member
since 11-03-1999
Posts 40
Dolgeville, N.Y.U.S.


10 posted 02-15-2000 06:58 PM       View Profile for E.Fudd   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for E.Fudd

I must agree with the premise , perhaps we could collaborate ...As one , as many , as thoughts  , as pennies  , A few , will do,
Are takers , any ?
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


11 posted 05-21-2004 03:41 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

 
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