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Passions in Poetry

Virtual Café

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Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


25 posted 02-14-2000 01:50 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Quite an apt description, eh?     Masterfully done, m'friend.  'orbs of green and blue'...very cool.





 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


26 posted 02-14-2000 03:02 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

It's me again, here to plead guilty to a drunken and vapid response that in no way did justice to the poetry contained herein.  (sheesh -- I should be a lawyer!)  

After a patient explanation, I think I have grasped most of what I was missing in this (thus my noncommital reply LOL).

"Breathe" was an excellent first line, it set the stage for the rest quite well, I thought ...

The abrupt change of theme in the midst (between being chained and being in a cafe) works very well, I think, to explain the duality of the situation, though I wonder why you chose to use such a strong reference to captivity (makes it sound unpleasant or unwanted).

As I so clumsily stated before, I enjoyed the cafe scene very much (being partial to them myself, go figure!).  You captured the cozy and intimate atmosphere and the sensuality of sharing a latte with someone you feel a connection with -- vanilla latte, of course.  

Quiet conversations,
Hushed tones, leaning
Forward, smiles that frame the words
And reach the eyes
(blue -- green)
Whispers floating between,
Charged
Like living things, on
Breaths of
Warm vanilla ...


Any better..?  

--Me



 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


27 posted 02-14-2000 03:12 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

this is great, glad I didn't miss it...you could rename pip to this....virtual cafe....great job!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


28 posted 02-14-2000 03:51 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

HUSG
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


29 posted 02-16-2000 10:45 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

oops ...  

[This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 02-16-2000).]
Oscar Wilde
Junior Member
since 03-09-2000
Posts 32
San Francisco


30 posted 04-01-2000 01:12 PM       View Profile for Oscar Wilde   Email Oscar Wilde   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Oscar Wilde

Hope the dream.
Wish the future.
Live the now.

I am. You are such a marvelous poet!

Your biggest fan,

O.
 
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