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Passions in Poetry

what can i say?

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 02-12-2000 01:25 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Here's my second session with the micro cassette record last night. This one ended up coming out as song as I recorded, but, since my voice is so bad, the written words will do fine, thanks.

Mike

-what can i say?-
sung freestyle

What can I say?
What can I say?
What can I say?
What can I say?

There's water stains on the walls.
There's signs fallen in the hall.
There's seventy-five ways to crawl
And I've learned them all.

There's been thirteen phone calls
And fourteen non-replies.
There's been no chance at all
And I don't even have the voice to cry.

What can I say when happiness goes away?
What can I say?
I found a piece of it but most of it's dead.
Maybe it's just in my head.
But it feels more like dread.

And what can I say?
It's day but I don't want to play.
The child in me is gone,
Melted with the dawn.

And the feeling of regret stays well past midnight's slate.
And what can I say? I can't forget
What you told me that day.
What can I say? I loved the time
When we kissed in the dew.
And what can I say? It was all a dream
And it's over because of you.

What can I say? I am here
And I'm sitting on the shore.
What can I say? Because just a few feet
In front of me is the ocean floor.
And how many planes, how many ships
Have crashed into the sea?
I don't know. But I do know
That I lost a part of me.
What can I say when I don't want to play
And I don't want to spend time.
What can I say
When the walls are dripping slime?
What can I say? It's so ridiculous
To even admit something that mundane.
What can I say? Life's beautiful
But right now it seems awful plain.

What can I say? I loved the time when I,
I'm not even sure anymore.
What can I say? I, I oh, just close the door.

And close the window.
And paint over the pane in black paint.
What can I say?
Sometimes the feeling's strong, sometimes it's faint.

And what can I say?
What can I say?
What can I say?
What can I say?

But the sun has risen again.
And I'm left with my shadows for friends.
And I say, the gems and emeralds in the grass,
It all seems so high class,
But it all turned to broken glass.

And what can I say? I'm driving away, any chance.
What can I say? I just don't want to be part of this dance.
What can I say? The sun is casting darkness over me
Because the clouds in the sky are not even in my eyes.
And all the freeway signs are things I just pass by.
And all the times that I've cried I've also tried to hide.

And I can't confide the reasons
I feel so flat.
What can I say?
There's times I'm so tired and sick of all that.
And what can I say? I, I, I don't know, I, I don't know
And it just goes to show.
I can't even, I can't, I, I don't know what to say.

And the train whistle over the Northridge night.
And the train whistle makes me think of flight.
What can I say? I don't know. I don't know anymore.
What can I say? I've tried all my keys but I can't unlock the door.
I can't unlock the door.
I can't take anymore.
And I'm lying on the floor with whore number four and, what's more,
There's a lot more.

What can I say?
What can I say?
What can I say?
Oh go away.
Oh go away.

Oh just go away.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
just_another_fe
Senior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 504
MICHIGAN


1 posted 02-12-2000 02:03 AM       View Profile for just_another_fe   Email just_another_fe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit just_another_fe's Home Page   View IP for just_another_fe

WOW U WROTE THAT???????? THAT WAS GREAT I LOVE IT.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


2 posted 02-12-2000 02:06 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks. My freestyles always have flaws in them, and that's what I like about that form of writing -- just speaking (or singing) and leaving it as is, no revisions. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing poetry, and my own damning critic, so it's good to just let things flow free every once in a while, limitations and all. I know it refreshes me, anyway.

Mike
amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


3 posted 02-12-2000 03:04 AM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amber

I couldnt agree more. Sometimes i just write everything i am feeling and it comes out more beautiful to me than something i try so hard to perfect. Becuase it is perfect in its own sense to my own heart becuase it says all that i contian. Wonderful thoughts here, some i have felt so many times.

 Only after trying so hard to let go, did i realize how much i wanted to hold you forever> Amber and Ellis forever and always

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


4 posted 02-12-2000 06:44 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Well, there is certainly not much more that I can say, but what a nice piece of work you have done
Ps I agree with Amber, if only my English would be better  

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


5 posted 02-12-2000 11:25 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Do you send these to a singer to record? This is good....
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


6 posted 02-12-2000 11:52 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

I can hear the song all through this piece, Mike.  

"And how many planes, how many ships
Have crashed into the sea?
I don't know. But I do know
That I lost a part of me."

Very good, and very emotive. I fully enjoyed it!

Claire
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


7 posted 02-12-2000 12:03 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

What can I say,
you have written a winner today!
"the child in me is gone, melted with the dawn".
I'll look forward to this song reaching the top ten charts.
Danny
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


8 posted 02-14-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

the way you put things...incredible...paint the window over in black, I feel so flat...fourteen non replys...wow...just so many more....you have a great deal of talent my friend....I am enjoying your work immensly
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


9 posted 02-15-2000 01:59 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thsnks, everyone. Sometimes the best way to deal with pain is thrash it the ... heck ... out of ya. Swollen vocal cords and all.

M.
 
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