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Passions in Poetry

My Hamlet

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Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


0 posted 02-11-2000 11:48 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

And yet another translation of V. Vysotsky.

Just briefly, Iíll explain myself in verse,
To tell you everything-- I do not have the might.
I was conceived, the proper way, in curse, --
In sweat and tenseness of the wedding night.

I knew, when separating from the earth. ó
The higher, the more harsh we got.
I walked towards the throne that I deserved
And acted like an heir in line of blood.

I knew that everything would be just as I ruled.
And I was never at a loss and never down.
My mates of sword and those I knew from school
Were loyal, like their fathers to the crown.

I never gave my speech a bit of thought
Into the wind, I threw my words without essence--
Like to a leader, trust to me was brought
By noble and high-ranking adolescents.

We made the guards feel restless in the night,
From us, like from a pox, the time grew worse.
I slept on leather; ate right off the knife--
With sirrups disciplined my wild, unruly horse.  

ďLong live the King!Ē Iíd hear my people cry
And since my birth, Iíve worn that noble mark.
Around chased harnesses, I would get high,
Abuse of books and words Iíd to disregard

Iíd smile with my lips while being pestered.
My mystic stare, which used to burn in fury,
Iíve learned to hide, raised by a happy jester.
And now the jesterís dead: ďAmen!Ē Poor Yurik.

And yet I disapproved of any sharingó
Of gains, rewards and privileges one has.
Then suddenly about life Iíve started caring
And rode around the sprouts of grass,

And I forgot the hunterís thrill and passion,
Began to hate the grayhounds and the steeds.
And sped my horse away from all the action,
I whipped the huntsmen to support my creed.

I watched our games with every single night
Turn more and more into disgrace of time
And by the flowing rivers, I would hide
And wash myself from staining filth and slime

I started to perceive, while growing duller,
I even missed my householdís affair.
Towards the people of this era I grew colder,
Iíve hid myself in books and lost all care.

My brain, for wisdom, greedy like a spider,
Grasped everything: and immobility and motion.
But what is wit when one cannot apply it?
When all around thereís an opposing notion?

With friends I torn the tread and I was free--
The thread of Ariadne was but a scheme.
I pondered on the words ďto be or not to be,Ē
A problem with no answer as it seemed.

The sea of grief was splashing in diffusion
We stood against it; we were sieving grain,
And filtering the blurry resolution
To a dilemma, which appeared inane.

I heard my fatherís call when clamor stopped,
Walked forth, -- while lurking doubts gloomed.
The weight of heavy thoughts would pull me up
And wings of flesh would drag me to my tomb.

Into a weak alloy, Iíve melted with each day,
And barely cool, itís started to diffuse.
Like others, Iíve spilled blood and just like they
I was incapable my vengeance to refuse.

The rising before death -- was my collapse!
Ophilia! My dear, I wonít decay...
With killing, I have made myself, perhaps,
An equal to one with whom I lay.

Iím Hamlet, I despised injustice and abuse!
I did not give a damn about the crown!
But in their eyes, I hungered fame and Iím acused
Of sending rivals of the throne into the ground.

The striking splash appears as an illusion.
And death through birth emerges from a side
And weíre still asking a complex solution
Not finding the question to abide.



[This message has been edited by Master (edited 02-12-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


1 posted 02-12-2000 02:18 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Wow, this was amazing -- it's wonderful how you were able to preserve so much of the rhyme in a translation!

Thoroughly enjoyed here!  

--Kess


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 02-12-2000 10:39 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

How do you do this? Have you done all Shakespeare's works?
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


3 posted 02-12-2000 11:34 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Skyfyre, thank you, to me the flow and the rhyme of the poem is the most imporntant thing in translating. However I must admit that the original was much better.

PoetdeVine, I haven't done all of Shakespeare's works, but he is one of my favorites. I love his sonnets as well as his plays, especially Hamlet and Macbeth. Thank you

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 02-12-2000 01:33 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful as always, Master!  

Denise
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


5 posted 02-12-2000 02:10 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thank you Denise!
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


6 posted 02-12-2000 05:49 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Excellent... excellent... and yet again excellent! Well done, indeed! I would only suggest reading it aloud a time or two to tighten up on the syntax. ONly in a couple of places, seems to me, it was a tad bit awkward in regards to the flow of it. It is minor. Only a couple of places. You have a winner here. Congratulations and thank you for the read!

-dp
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


7 posted 02-12-2000 07:15 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

First of all thank you, thank you and thank you. I'm working on it to give it a better flow, any suggestions where and how???
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


8 posted 02-12-2000 07:51 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Hi Master .... ummmm..... feel like posting it in Critical Analysis? If you post it there, I'd love to stop by and comment on particular lines that tripped me up in regards to the meter and flow. There's not many....only a few. CA is the place for it, though, from what I hear.

Thanks! Looking forward to talking to you about it. I have seen your name but haven't been around as much as I would like in order to get to know your poetry... and I'm sorry for that... glad to meet you and hope to read more. You are clearly a poet with talent and perception.

dp
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


9 posted 02-13-2000 12:32 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Again thank you DP, and I will post it is CA right away!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


10 posted 02-13-2000 01:42 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I read your work all the time, although i don't reply often.  Every time I read it, i
just feel like shutting the hell up.  I always sigh to myself and think:  The master
has spoken.  Why o why o why can't I do this?
Master
Senior Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


11 posted 02-13-2000 09:15 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

WOW, what a compliment! I could never respond as nice as you do! lol Thank you!
 
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