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Open Poetry #6
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In Haunting Notes...........Posted a while ago, revised with help from Balladeer
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Open Poetry #6
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In Haunting Notes...........Posted a while ago, revised with help from Balladeer
| Open Poetry #6 |
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In Haunting Notes...........Posted a while ago, revised with help from Balladeer |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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(I appologize for the lenght of this one, but I don't believe you'll be disappointed. I consider this to be amoung one of my best works. Thanks Balladeer for all your help in its revision  )In Haunting Notes It was a brisk November night When I rode into that town Feeling saddle sore and weary Looking only to bed down. My clothes were dark with trail dirt My chaps were wearing thin. The wind was blowing from the east And cutting to my skin. Every hoof fall kicked up dust Upon that darkened street. I hitched up next to the saloon To get a bite to eat. My boot heels struck upon the wood. Sounds echoed in the night. The streets were bare and silent, Not a single soul in sight. Soft orange light reflected out, Cast shadows on the ground And from the depths of that saloon I heard a haunting sound. A voice so soft and full of grace Was carried out to me; The tantalizing notes she sang, I simply had to see. I entered through the swinging doors And saw her standing there In dress of red and deep blue eyes Framed with auburn hair. She looked at me and flashed a smile That lit her entire face. I wondered what a girl like that Was doing in this place. I bellied right up to the bar, Then ordered up a drink. Captured in the spell she cast, I found it hard to think. Her eyes caught mine across the room; I couldn’t look away And when she finished her last song, She turned and came my way. “Hey cowboy, it looks like to me You’re lonely and bone tired And you should know, a girl like me Prefers to be admired. I got myself a room upstairs Here in this one horse town. I’ve got a bed just right for two. You’re welcome to bed down.” She smiled once more, I couldn’t speak; She reached to take my arm; Then led me to her room upstairs, I, spellbound by her charm. “Welcome to my home,” she said. She opened up the door. The room was dark, a single lamp Cast shadows on the floor. She led me to the bed and stood Before me in the night Slipped her clothes off, piece by piece, Outlined in dimming light. Each sensual curve was accented. She stood before me there. I reached to pull her towards me, Hands running through her hair. A chain of gold graced her fair neck From which a locket dangled. She climbed in bed, right next to me, Our bodies soon entangled. We loved and talked all through the night. I drifted off near dawn And in the early morning hours I woke to find her gone. Hazy light was filtered in Through a window marred with dust; Next to me, lay on the bed The locket dull with rust. I picked it up and opened it Where, much to my surprise, I found a picture old and worn That made me doubt my eyes. The picture was in black and white. It bore the test of time. The face, though, that it held within Was no one else but mine. I had to find her, had to know What this was all about. I threw my clothes on in a rush And from the room ran out. I took the steps two at a time. I had to find that girl. But what I saw as I looked down Caused my head to swirl. The saloon lay still and empty. Silence filled the air. Old broken bottles packed the bar Not a soul was there. Tables and chairs were brown with rot. Dust coated all with white. But what I saw when I looked down Was the most unnerving sight. The floor lay thick encased in sand That had blown in through the door Disturbed by just my set of prints Where ‘we’d’ walked the night before. I ran outside to only find The town stood in decay. I jumped onto my waiting horse And quickly rode away. Years have passed, since that cold night In that forgotten town. Now on my stand, the locket rests. Some nights I take it down. I open it to see my face, A picture from the past. I’ve questions I can’t answer and There’s no one that I can ask. Sometimes at night, she calls to me From somewhere in my dreams And I’m forced to remind myself All’s never what it seems. So cowboy if you find yourself On the trail some cold , dark night And run into a quiet town Where something seems not right. Beware the girl with auburn hair And mesmerizing voice; Just saddle up and ride away While you still have a choice. She haunts the town, still in search of A love lost long ago And once you’re captured in her spell She will not let you go. Best mark my words, I see her face Bathed in that dim light Where in my dreams, she haunts me still Every single night. Have you ever noticed That the words... "Goodbye" "I'm sorry" "I love you" Are so easy to pronounce ...Yet so hard to say ~Javan |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Superb... tremendous... excellent... and I liked it a whole also... what a great poem. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Hoot: Absolutely excellent.. HUSG The grape passes through the press to yield wine. Your life must pass through the press of passion and pain to yield the wine of wisdom.. |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Read like a book I couldn't put down, and the illustrations it drew were wonderful. Great from beginning to end. |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Hoot, You captivated me in your spell. This was simply excellent. A great story, just like BCS said, and one I couldn't put down, and didn't even want to end! Joy |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
A great story and a pleasure to read. A fine job you've done making it seem real, or was it? Danny |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful, wonderful!!! You did a super job with this! What a story and flawless presentation. Can I make it into a short story??? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Just great, Ruth. My contribution was microscopic. This is all you...and worthy of all the praise |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Applause! Applause. I love this work, Ruth. Beautifully done. michael |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Balladeer...thanks anyway, regardless of how little you think you did Wow...thanks for all the praise Mike RG...thank you BSC...thank you, what a compliment you pay me Joy...nearly 150 lines, I think it's a good thing it ended when it did...thank you Danny....*smiles* well, the last time I looked I wasn't a cowboy, so it must not be true ThanksMartie...thank you and be my guest Michael...thanks my friend. Coming from you, the words mean a lot |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Lady Hoot: I'm looking for Rod Serling to walk out any moment. Excellent tale. Top shelf material! As always, I bow to you and yours. |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Please Ruth bear with me, I'm out of time I have to read this well done rhyme Without the noisy dinner chime But know that I'm in awe to see That such perfect, excellent, brilliant and beautiful piece was done by thee. I see your style is improved my deer I also see a little Balladeer in here (very little ) ((almost microscopic))I guess the praise must go to you While Mike only gets just an "So sweet and very Kind of you" I know you know me well and inside out "NICE POEM YOU TWO HAVE DONE" ...I would like to shout. I can only take my hat and bow to thee Hugs and Love weehee < !signature--> The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. [This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 02-11-2000).] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Hoot Owl, this is a magnificent work! Absolutely captivating. Be proud of this! Claire |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Scott....it is a bit Twilight Zone isn't it....thanks, wishing you and yours the best too Helmut...no wonder you spend so much time on here, so much thought and time in each lovely reply Claire...thank you very much |
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bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
WOW.....*sits here with jaw touching the floor*...that was superb--I had to shake my head a little to get myself out of your captivating spell. LOL  Excellent, excellent work. Bobbycat =^..^= |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Bobbycat...thank you cute sign on by the way =^..^= |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
I like story poems. Yours is easy to read and enjoyable. Good job. Thanks. Melton |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
And to think I almost missed this one. This has to go back to the top. This had me captivated from start to finish. Excellent job. |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
I echo what eloise said. I dont have time to read every post and seem to have passed this one by the first time. An excellent read hoot owl. It had me captivated from start till finish I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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Tasi Junior Member
since 2000-02-08
Posts 38Canada |
Hoot I love this poem,I did not want it to end ..heck I wanted to be there : ) Tasi |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ruth what a chilling tale! Most EXCELLENT my friend! <*\\\>< When you can't make up your mind Which way is right for you, Stop and softly ask yourself, What Would Jesus Do? |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I wonder if you can write anything bad Ruth... |
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cK Navarro Junior Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 21Helsinki Finland |
breathe taking...the art of the mind that holds the mystery of life beyond life´s simplicity. This one´s unlike any I´ve ever red. you´re on top of the list!!! You deserve an award, for it takes a whole lot to make it than reading it. looking forward for more... greetings from finland -C- |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Ruth- This is terrific ! You've woven a wonderful tale. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh Christopher...I assure you, I write plenty that's bad cK...thank you, I hope I don't dissapoint you Marge...thank you my friend |
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Open Poetry #6
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In Haunting Notes...........Posted a while ago, revised with help from Balladeer
