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Passions in Poetry

My Fear(I lack a better title. Ideas welcome)

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White Wolf
Member
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan


0 posted 02-11-2000 07:37 AM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for White Wolf


Island of my solitude

Looking at you, looking at me
Observing our inescapable desire
Vowed to never let you go
Every night I dream of you

On that fateful evening
No one had told me
Loving you could hurt so much
Yeilding to my fears, I left

Yearning for you
Of the love I lost
Until the end of my days


Ok.  This is my first shot at this type of thing.  I felt like experimenting tonight.


 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?


© Copyright 2000 Justin D. Schroeder - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 02-11-2000 08:54 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Free verse is hard to grasp at times...you did very well by it  
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


2 posted 02-11-2000 11:41 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Our emotions don't always make the right decisions ... especially when our emotions are mixed

Rex}<{{{{o>
White Wolf
Member
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan


3 posted 02-11-2000 05:44 PM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Wolf

Hoot- Thanx for the support.  Free verse isn't that hard for me but to write something based on the first letters of each line is something I haven't attempted before.


Rex- Wise words.  Thank you for the information.

PS. The first letters of each line are a line in themselves.


 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 02-11-2000 05:48 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Scorched Dragon, I think this turned out very well! I've never written an acrostic piece either...perhaps I'll try my hand as well. Enjoyed this.

Claire
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


5 posted 02-11-2000 06:11 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

well I never noticed the hidden line
way cool! as my daughter says  
Hey ... maybe thats your title ?

Rex}<{{{{o>


 I'm not ugly!
I'm just visually challenged!

White Wolf
Member
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan


6 posted 02-11-2000 06:13 PM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Wolf

Meadowmuse- Thank you.    I would I to see this "try" when you actually do it.

 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?


fool
Member
since 02-07-2000
Posts 110


7 posted 02-11-2000 06:15 PM       View Profile for fool   Email fool   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fool

for a first attempt,this is fantastic
well done.
Gene
Senior Member
since 01-23-2000
Posts 940
Colorado, USA


8 posted 02-11-2000 08:33 PM       View Profile for Gene   Email Gene   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Gene's Home Page   View IP for Gene

This is very clever writing. What do you mean you lack a title? I think it's obvious, don't you? -- "I Love Only You"

Also, try bolding the first letter of each line.

~Gene



[This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 02-11-2000).]
White Wolf
Member
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan


9 posted 02-12-2000 08:29 PM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Wolf

Rex-  You got in there judt before I posted a reply.  Title sounds good.

fool-  Thank you for the praise.  

Gene-  Clever?  Me?  Who would of thought.  Yes I think that will be the title to this poem.  And I am not sue how to put anything in "Bold" on here.  If anyone knows, please let me know.


 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


10 posted 02-12-2000 08:48 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

As you may know by now, I do not care to meddle in the affairs of dragons, but may i
respectfully suggest that your title is your first line?   I defer to your most excellent judgement, of course.
White Wolf
Member
since 09-18-99
Posts 384
Somewhere in the vast wastelan


11 posted 02-13-2000 03:50 AM       View Profile for White Wolf   Email White Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Wolf

Serenity-  Thanks for the suggestion. And by the way, some dragons do know how to take a suggestion.  

 If dying is the process of living life to its end.
Then what is living?


Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


12 posted 06-20-2000 07:58 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

Nice!!  " I Love Only You!! Creative!! Yep, your writing does have a common thread!!

"Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side

[This message has been edited by Justbleu (edited 06-20-2000).]
 
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