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Open Poetry #6
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Poem in 5 Part( first 4 posted)
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Poem in 5 Part( first 4 posted) |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
THIS IS MY FIRST DRAFT PLEASE CRITICIZE ALL YOU LIKE FIRST 4 PARTS POSTED The night, the darkness, the morning, the light and the day after ( A poem in five parts) i-The night Summer closed that night as we entered the bar announcing our arrival smooth lingering sweeps first our eyes, then our bodies it was long and thin set deep in the cities black heart trench warfare in this trendy tunnel artist and x-ers, mingling in protest of their parents lives into the back just like in grade school, last desk in the last row in need of obscurity. i walked up to the bar not knowing that things were about to change. The bartender, tall practicing the part of an unemployed actor or writer, maybe a poet like me in black dark rimmed glasses. i was in need of attention, a beer even. she knew it, looked up smiled, said you want to order then moved over so i could slide between her and the guy next door. it was like madness spreading through my brain, we exchanged words like kisses waiting anxiously for the next one to arrive; like kisses it did not matter who was kissing and who was being kissed it only mattered that our lips met. i forgot about my friend he was busy anyway boring himself with his insecurities. ii-The darkness on the edge of endless breaths i heard her warmth, sounded like a lion with her hair tangled in my thoughts Eyes cold silver and steel gray like a nova exploded inside me. and all the while my fingers moved in slow circles on her face in the darkness giggles were like pyre for our sorrows and quick shallow breaths , beacons guiding our pleasures home All night we chased our loneliness until exhaustion forced it to it’s knees iii-Morning The sun poured into the room like a ripe grape squeezed from it’s rind i turned to face the face of this golden haired lioness Her eyes still fluttered like two butterflies caught in the wind of a wayward dream A sparrow, brown stripped flew like my love past the window Fleeting for a stranger place then where my mind now rested. Beneath the warmth of a new day i pulled a quill from my quiver and fired it after that sparrow she rested and spoke volumes like the girl on the tram “making no such remark” Her body curved, silhouetted below a dark blanked against the white wall. (the nine sisters all conspired on this one) She awoke with a sinless smile eyes gasping for breath as they emerged from under a translucent reservoir of slumber i reached for her. not knowing things were about to change. iii-Light The street opened before me like the red sea, and i had been delivered! i carried on like a stag strutting and stammering on shaky legs projecting, telepathically the inconceivable serendipity that lay behind me already i crossed an ocean of darkness in one night, and in the light i turned to see the waves crash down upon the pharaohs troops guised in armor only pessimistic minds could create not wanting to recall the wandering that was inevitable i stammered a little longer by the shore, head high and turned to her balcony for one last breath. < !signature--> Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven claws Jim Morrison [This message has been edited by Tony Di Bart (edited 02-14-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Anthony Di Bartolomeo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
I can't believe this slipped by without a comment! Wow, I love this. You weave the story well and use some great phrases: "we exchanged words like kisses","Eyes cold silver and steel gray like a nova exploded inside me", "All night we chased our loneliness until exhaustion forced it to it’s knees". Keep it up! It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
Thanks for the comments Tara. This is not yet finnished I still have to write another six poems for this one to complete. But I thought I would put out there |
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
need some more feed back...back to the top |
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