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WilliamHugh
Junior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 12
MA

0 posted 2000-02-10 11:51 AM

This is really the only peom I have ever wrote. I know its not great.

I told myself no
I said not again

You told me it’s right
That’s its time again

I fought and I fought
To protect this weak heart

Each day you came
With more of the same

I started feel it
I started to fall

You thought I was not coming
You waited to long

My love it did grow
Day after day

Now you are gone
Could it be more wrong

You say you need time
Space for your life

My love I’m still here
But I can’t stay long

[This message has been edited by WilliamHugh (edited 02-10-2000).]

Kyttn
Junior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 10
MO

1 posted 2000-02-10 11:54 AM

I like your poem very much, William! I hope she gives you another chance, it would be a great shame to let something so wonderful slip away.

WilliamHugh
Junior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 12
MA

2 posted 2000-02-10 12:41 PM

thank you, now if I could just bring myself to give it to her

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

3 posted 2000-02-10 12:47 PM

It's written straight from the heart William...GIVE IT TO HER...I know if a man gave me something as heartfelt as this dear...I run into open arms!!! Welcome to the family!!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Corazon
Senior Member

since 2000-02-02

Posts 1209

4 posted 2000-02-10 12:59 PM

I like it too, welcome, it is very straight forward and honest...that is good

WilliamHugh
Junior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 12
MA

5 posted 2000-02-10 01:27 PM

I just found a few mistakes, I guess I should have looked at the orignal insted of doing it from memory =(

Adriahh
Junior Member

since 2000-02-09

Posts 18

6 posted 2000-02-10 01:31 PM

I like it, I agree you should give it over.
Adria

Breathe~
Member

since 2000-02-05

Posts 315
Washington...

7 posted 2000-02-10 01:40 PM

This is very honest...but as the old saying goes..."It's better to have love and lost...then to have never loved at all.."

Give her another chance...and have no regrets...may love smile brightly on you both...

)

Freedom of expression is the watch word...

Kyttn
Junior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 10
MO

8 posted 2000-02-10 02:14 PM

quote:
I just found a few mistakes, I guess I should have looked at the orignal insted of doing it from memory

You can edit your post by clicking on the little paper and pencil icon at the top of your poem.

Hope that helps.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

9 posted 2000-02-11 07:43 AM

For not being a poet, you've done quite well.. Also, be aware that if you want to edit your post, you can click on the notepad icon on your post - Edit away!!

Also, I think you should give it to her - It's a lovely poem..