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Mistakes have been made

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WilliamHugh
Junior Member
since 02-10-2000
[First Post] 12
MA


0 posted 02-10-2000 11:51 AM       View Profile for WilliamHugh   Email WilliamHugh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WilliamHugh

This is really the only peom I have ever wrote. I know its not great.

I told myself no
I said not again

You told me itís right
Thatís its time again

I fought and I fought
To protect this weak heart

Each day you came
With more of the same

I started feel it
I started to fall

You thought I was not coming
You waited to long

My love it did grow
Day after day

Now you are gone
Could it be more wrong

You say you need time
Space for your life

My love Iím still here
But I canít stay long



[This message has been edited by WilliamHugh (edited 02-10-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 WilliamHugh - All Rights Reserved
Kyttn
Junior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 11
MO


1 posted 02-10-2000 11:54 AM       View Profile for Kyttn   Email Kyttn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Kyttn's Home Page   View IP for Kyttn

I like your poem very much, William!  I hope she gives you another chance, it would be a great shame to let something so wonderful slip away.
WilliamHugh
Junior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 12
MA


2 posted 02-10-2000 12:41 PM       View Profile for WilliamHugh   Email WilliamHugh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WilliamHugh

thank you, now if I could just bring myself to give it to her
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


3 posted 02-10-2000 12:47 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

It's written straight from the heart William...GIVE IT TO HER...I know if a man gave me something as heartfelt as this dear...I run into open arms!!! Welcome to the family!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


4 posted 02-10-2000 12:59 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

I like it too, welcome, it is very straight forward and honest...that is good  
WilliamHugh
Junior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 12
MA


5 posted 02-10-2000 01:27 PM       View Profile for WilliamHugh   Email WilliamHugh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WilliamHugh

I just found a few mistakes, I guess I should have looked at the orignal insted of doing it from memory =(
Adriahh
Junior Member
since 02-09-2000
Posts 18


6 posted 02-10-2000 01:31 PM       View Profile for Adriahh   Email Adriahh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Adriahh

I like it, I agree you should give it over.
Adria

Breathe~
Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 319
Washington...


7 posted 02-10-2000 01:40 PM       View Profile for Breathe~   Email Breathe~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Breathe~

This is very honest...but as the old saying goes..."It's better to have love and lost...then to have never loved at all.."

Give her another chance...and have no regrets...may love smile brightly on you both... )


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...
Kyttn
Junior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 11
MO


8 posted 02-10-2000 02:14 PM       View Profile for Kyttn   Email Kyttn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Kyttn's Home Page   View IP for Kyttn

quote:
I just found a few mistakes, I guess I should have looked at the orignal insted of doing it from memory


You can edit your post by clicking on the little paper and pencil icon at the top of your poem.    Hope that helps.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


9 posted 02-11-2000 07:43 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

For not being a poet, you've done quite well.. Also, be aware that if you want to edit your post, you can click on the notepad icon on your post - Edit away!!

Also, I think you should give it to her - It's a lovely poem..
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 02-11-2000 08:48 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I liked this...it was honest and direct. Welcome to passions  
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


11 posted 02-11-2000 12:44 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

William~ Welcome! You are just so sweet! This is great, and I agree, you should find the courage to give this to her! And, now I know how to edit!(thanks Nan! )-SEA
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