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Open Poetry #6
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what if?
| Open Poetry #6 |
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what if? |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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I walked and walked must have been a million miles or more and I thought and thought and worked it all out in my mind each question was gone over worded and reworded until it was formed perfectly each response was backspaced, reordered, deleted and rethought until it proceeded with the proper logic and just when I would get to the end and the next thought would give me the answer of what to do with my life I would start over. and so I walked until I couldn't anymore, finally falling asleep with no resolution, fitfully tossing and turning seeking perfection, seeking an ending… how can I end an A+ analyzation with the question What if? What if I don't do tomorrow, what I am doing wrong today? what if.... [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 02-10-2000).] |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Hmmm, I understand this perfectly and the answer is that life is a circle, no end, no beginning, just a constant.. HUSG sweetheart The grape passes through the press to yield wine. Your life must pass through the press of passion and pain to yield the wine of wisdom.. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
I think there are no resolutions. We invent our lives one day at a time and the "what ifs" are only folly for the mind filled with insecurity. (thinking out loud) Good writing. DH |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
how can I end an A+ analization with the question What if? Lady, you are one heckuva writer! This is profound, right on the mark! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
And what if the answer lies not in walking but in flying... away? *S* Well done!!! (Even if I do hate to agree with the sailor! *S*) |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
This is very nice indeed. You know, I wonder if you put the whole thing in first person "I walk and walk . . ." etc., it would work too . . . and feel more like the person speaking isn't out of the circle yet. Anyway, I do also like it as it is. (But check the spelling of "analysing.") |
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WilliamHugh Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 12MA |
I like this very much, tuning thoughts in the mind are something I have dealt with much lately. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
No more thinking of what if's...only where you've been and more importantly, where you're going...you're too sweet of a person to worry so much!!G* Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Corazon... Through your poetry..I see a sensitive, intelligent, wonderful person with an incredible talent... Don't let those "what ifs"..hold you back...Shove 'em in the closet...and live life to the fullest!...*grin* Freedom of expression is the watch word... |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
RainbowGirl thanks for the hugs, and yep circles is the right word…. Danny Holloway thanks LngJhnAg thank you shipmate….means much you know? suthern well then I will grow wings…..hugs and thanks for the compl.  Ted Reynolds lol thanks, funny thing was either way I spelled it my spell check said it was wrong, so I figured it wasn't a word so it couldn't be spelled wrong **grin** WilliamHugh thanks devina sigh, I know, but you can't go on to the next til you figure out where you messed up, or you will just do it again…. Breathe~ thank you much that is a very sweet thing to say |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Corazon~ Life holds too many "What If's". I know, I do it a lot .Sometimes all you can do is not ask that. Jump in and see where you land!  -SEA |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
If we made no mistakes my friend we would never learn "If you have made mistakes...there is always another chance for you...you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." ~Mary Pickford |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Very impressive. This thing flows where no flow should be possible. When you look at in on the page, it's like words just tumbling down in some chaotic waterfall; but when you read it, you see this chaos has some sort of logic, even if skewed, behind it. Exactly what you're saying in the poem reflects in the format. Did you notice? Mike |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
hoot thanks much, and loved the quote...thanks bsqirrel...no, I hadn't noticed lol, this is another of those that just tumbled onto the page.....well actually, I do walk at night and my brain goes round and round with my feet, and sometimes when I am done a poem tumbles out...thanks for the comments and for taking the time to notice |
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