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 the consequences of her actions---revise
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Passions in Poetry

the consequences of her actions---revised

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Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
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0 posted 02-09-2000 02:32 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Corazon

She spat the words out of her mouth
because she was choking
on the bitter taste
and as she watched
they impacted
and started to breed
with his unbelief
at the voicing
and she quickly grasped
that they had now grown
much too
ominous
for him to ever get them all back inside
successfully...
so she hid
behind an air of indifference
and her pride
painted a smirk
to hide the fear





[This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 02-10-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 02-09-2000 02:40 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Did he say it or her? It felt very strong, I'm just not sure why............ (but I liked it)-SEA
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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2 posted 02-09-2000 04:22 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I like this much!  Once said, it can not be unsaid...which is why I prefer to write...
Delete, Delete, Delete...

I'll be looking for more!
devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


3 posted 02-09-2000 04:28 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

The talent of masking our own feelings, then crying later in the privacy of our hearts...very effective poem missy!!!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


4 posted 02-09-2000 05:33 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

well, so far this poem missed its mark, so, then too, I guess did I as the poet, but I thank you for the read

SEA, she did....and thanks
serentity, yep, almost made Unsaid the title  
devina, thanks yep we all have our masks
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 02-09-2000 06:45 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

If the man is worthy of your friendship, he would be able to see through the mask and fears and recognize you for the kind human being you are....as I would.
Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


6 posted 02-10-2000 09:32 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

well Balladeer, I revised this, as it was not at all what about what people were reading into it, no I see you as a a gentle man, and as such would not anger a lady to the point of spitting the bile out of her soul, and then make her fear that he will make her eat her words....this is not about a gentle man....
suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


7 posted 02-10-2000 09:43 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

So I wasn't too far off the mark with my email comments about bitterness and fear? *S* Well done, dear friend...
Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


8 posted 02-10-2000 10:08 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

nope, but then you know me...sigh...almost as well as I know myself....hugs my friend
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