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Open Poetry #6
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Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...

0 posted 2000-02-09 01:22 AM


Kneeling
my body drawn down
weighted by a sickened spirit
broken one too many times

Despairs arms beckoning
promised relief
Eagerly I crawl through the shells of my dreams
Trampling their corpses further
to wallow in her cold embrace

Hugging my knees in comfort
I am safe in my cocoon
sheltered by empty thoughts
Pleasantly numb to things that once mattered
I watch them now with deadened eyes

Wolves in human masks
tug hungrily at my heart basket
anxious to devour the contents
Disjointed faces
croon of my failures
laughing as I sit in the dust of my dreams

I ignore them
sliding towards the darkness
my walls thickening against normality
impenetrable comfort
Depression whispers softly
until I hear nothing
see nothing
I am nothing….




 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

© Copyright 2000 Denise Blackwell - All Rights Reserved
White Wolf
Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371
Somewhere in the vast wasteland
1 posted 2000-02-09 03:31 AM


Wow.  I have been there before..until someone came and yanked me out of my shell.  Nicely done.  You have captured the feeling well, atleast of what I remember of it.  You write well keep it up.  I look forward to reading more of your stuff.< !signature-->

 Poet:  An individual that can transfer what is in the heart onto paper.




[This message has been edited by Scorched Dragon (edited 02-09-2000).]

dash rendor
Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 21

2 posted 2000-02-09 03:33 AM


I only read your poem because you didnt have any responses, but im extremely glad i did.  This poem reeks with dispair, but it embodies the true emotions that such dispair envokes.  I hate to wonder what could cause such dispair.  Hopefully you only write about these things and dont truly experience them.  I enjoyed this poem and i will definitly look for others by you.  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

3 posted 2000-02-09 05:56 AM


The title intrigued me...the writing impressed. You've got some very potent imagery here. I'm looking forward to reading more from you!

Claire

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-02-09 06:12 AM


Breathe~
After the moments of despair ...
H O P E.

Very well-drawn images
of the depth of despair.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
5 posted 2000-02-09 11:09 AM


Scorched Dragon...sometimes we have to hit bottom before rising...Thank you for your words...

dash...Well I am extremely glad that you did!  Let's just say that I am no longer in that state of mind...thanks to amazing people around me...this poem is just a rtoken reminder I haul out when I feel myself slipping...thanks for stopping in... )

Meadowmuse...Thank you!  I hope you DO read more... )

Marge...Marge...Marge...*smiling*

Hope can take us anywhere...if we let it...thank you so much!...You are such a kind lady... )


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
6 posted 2000-02-09 11:29 AM


Wow, you captured the essence of the nether side so well, been there, too often, so glad to be away from all of the "wolves in human masks" now, they only reside in that dark little place...great poem
Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
7 posted 2000-02-09 09:46 PM


Thank you BSC...I am very happy to say I haven't seen one of those wolves in a long time...*smiling*

 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
8 posted 2000-02-10 05:20 AM


There is always a light up on the horizon
A well done poem  
Now do write one that reflects you today
Very nice very deep

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
9 posted 2000-02-10 10:54 AM


HelmutB...

Awwwww...I don't wanna!!!...*grin*  Well...I don't seem to express love as well..and I don't know why...but I did just recently do something concerning passion....would that do?   )


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
10 posted 2000-02-10 11:24 AM


Breathe... deeply... this is so deep - I enjoyed it, and I hated it.  I loved it, and I hated it some more.  This is a deeply moving poem.  Well done.
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

11 posted 2000-02-10 01:11 PM


yep, can ditto lja on this one...have been there...so I understand...very well written
Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
12 posted 2000-02-10 01:28 PM


LngJhn...You know?  I love and hate this poem too...I hate how low I was at the time that I wrote it...but I also love how it also reminds me of how far we can come... )

Corazon...and may we never go back there again!   )  Thank you...


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

WilliamHugh
Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 12
MA
13 posted 2000-02-10 01:32 PM


Great work, everyone can relate this to some point in their life.
Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
14 posted 2000-02-10 09:14 PM


More often then I care to admit... )

Thanks William...


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

bobbycat
Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233
USA
15 posted 2000-02-10 09:27 PM


LOVED the imagery!!!! You can describe things and feelings perfectly....I'll bet you're GREAT at giving directions!!!!  LOL     

Bobbycat =^..^=

Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
16 posted 2000-02-10 11:08 PM


Acccck!  Uh...No comment!  *LOL*

Thanks bobbycat... )


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
17 posted 2000-02-11 08:31 PM


"I crawl through the shells of my dreams"... Very good line (and a good poem), Breathe...
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
18 posted 2000-02-11 08:37 PM


Breathe~ I find myself looking for your poetry. This is a bad memory revisited for me.Love-hate yep,I loved it because it is so good, and hated it for reminding me of something I'd rather forget. Great job!   -SEA
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