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Open Poetry #6
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-02-09 12:43 PM


-lonely son-
A lonely sun in an only sky.
No one to sing a lullaby.
Why do you even try?
There are crumbs in the wine.

Mistakes dull like alabaster.
Faces hidden in the plaster.
Are you really your own master
Of what's pushing you to whatever faster?

Outside, Santa Monica breeze
Moving the fronds of palm trees.
Salty gritty taste of pleas.
Footprints form a nonsense frieze.

Or are those really dug-in psalms?
Your favorite note
Of your favorite composer's
Song?

Play along. Drink along.
Boy used to wonder about snow.
Feel fine. Fall free.
Now he wonders where the days go.

Lonely sun tints only pane.
Lonely son tips back his pain.
Fingers grip the glassless rain.
Drink it down; it's like cold flame.

Tastes like water turning to tea.
Was that a prayer or another plea?
How does it feel to be so like the sea?
Washing things away, colored dark, deeply.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
dash rendor
Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 21

1 posted 2000-02-09 03:49 AM


I printed this poem up.  As far a i can discern, this poem is very deep and has a nice level of emotion.  However, i have trouble extracting all of the meaning from the poem.  Its sounds very very well written, and it impresses me a lot.  If you could post a little explaination or send me one via email i would greatly enjoy that.  (my email is mallow22@iname.com)  Thank you and very well done.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-02-09 05:51 AM


Excellently expressed...gives one the sense of futility. You've shared it well here. (...from one who can relate)  

Claire

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2000-02-09 12:05 PM


dash,
Glad you enjoyed it. I won't tell you what it means, because one of the beauties of poetry (and all art) is that it can mean so many different things to different people. Who's to say the creator's view is the right one? Thanks for your compliments of my writing.

Claire,
We all understand futility, sometimes. Hope things are going well for you.

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
4 posted 2000-02-09 01:53 PM


you are soo right...people usually get different meanings from my poems as well...this was a very well written piece of emotion here hun...I enjoyed every minute!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Majestic
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
5 posted 2000-02-09 02:02 PM


very nicely written...it kinda grabs hold of ya and takes ya along on the ride...great job.

 "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~



Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

6 posted 2000-02-09 03:14 PM


ok, I understand most lines, but not sure about the whole meaning, I too am gonna save this one and go over it again later...  
oh and BTW I liked it...lol....if i failed to make that clear above...  

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2000-02-10 12:18 PM


devina, Majestic and Corazon:
Thanks!  

Mike

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
8 posted 2000-02-10 03:29 PM


I quite enjoyed this!  

 Did Jesus laugh?
I think He did,
'cause He was once
a little kid;
and all of us
were made with joy
both sugar-spice girl
and snake-snail boy!

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-05-22 07:35 PM


Thanks. It's been so long -- god, ah remember writin' this while listenin' to BUSH. *shudder*

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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