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Open Poetry #6
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devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali

0 posted 2000-02-08 11:32 PM


I shiver in remembrance,
Of that special misty night-
The many hours of holding,
Very much to my delight.

Heaven’s own love drops,
To fall upon our skin,
Creating such romance-
No beginning and no end.

There with you darlin,
Was far beyond compare-
Soaked from head to toe-
All I could do was stare.

Wrapping limbs around you,
So pleasing to my eyes,
Marveling at your warmth,
‘Twas pleasure not denied.

We ended late that night,
Kissing our good-byes,
Promising to meet again,
Beneath the rain filled skies.

< !signature-->

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


[This message has been edited by devina (edited 02-09-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Tanya Nicole Bustamante - All Rights Reserved
Paul Hoekman
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>
1 posted 2000-02-08 11:34 PM


Beautiful as always!
Devina
Forget the umbrella!

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

2 posted 2000-02-08 11:35 PM


Oh Devina how romantic....I just love long walks in the rain.  Don't know if is was cause mom said not to....or just the playing and getting wet with someone special    thanks for reminding me how special it can be

 There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. Drive it like you stole it.


Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
3 posted 2000-02-08 11:37 PM


devina, I know its not raining yet, but here I am. You paint it so wonderfully just the way I remember it, last night in my dreams.

Parker

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
4 posted 2000-02-08 11:38 PM


Oh, it has been my experience that the best time to do anything outside short of sunbathing is when it is raining! good job, devina, I enjoyed this  

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

Shelley
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263
Ohio, USA
5 posted 2000-02-08 11:51 PM


You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself. This caresses my mind when I read it. Very nicely done!
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
6 posted 2000-02-09 06:40 AM


Is there more to add?
Let's get going into the rain of lovers hearts
Such wet but beautiful poem, a true one
Ps gotta run catch the rain  

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-02-09 06:54 AM


Devina-
This is just so refreshing !
Much like the spring rains on a day in May.
It appears to me that you are writing with your heart .... I like it.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2000-02-09 07:14 AM


I like this Romance in the Rain devina.  Especially "creating such romance, no beginning and no end.  A lovely, lovely poem and now I am looking for the rain.  James
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
9 posted 2000-02-09 08:32 AM


Devina....nicely done gal.....nice pic too.....I made love in the rain once....(then it turned to hail)....figures.....
Evad
Junior Member
since 2000-02-08
Posts 12

10 posted 2000-02-09 08:42 AM


Devina:
I have always wanted to make love in the rain.  This will now make me want to even more.
Thank you for sharing this with me.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2000-02-09 09:10 AM


Devina, this is so romantic! Beautifully written. Making love in the rain is something everyone should try at least once   -SEA
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2000-02-09 11:59 AM


Beautiful written!!!!!
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
13 posted 2000-02-09 01:39 PM


Paul- Glad to see you sweetie!

First Knight- Maybe this is ONE time not to listen to our mothers, you cant get sick if there's someone to keep you warm!!

James- my dear...you flirt shamelessly!!!!! But you do it soooo good!!!

Mistiman- you're so right!!

Shelley- Thanks for the compliment!!!

Helmut-We've gotten a little rain in California, but I'm waitin' for a downpour dear!!! he he Then we'll have some fun!!

Marge- It's always from the heart m'dear, thanks for feeling it!!!

James- Hope your rain comes soon!!!

Lol@you Toe....you were probably just so GOOD that God had to stop you before you hurt yourself!!!!he he

Evad- go for it...tis a wonderful experience!!!

SEA- so right you are hun!!!

vandana- thank you!!!!



 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
14 posted 2000-02-09 02:30 PM


devina, m'dear, you have penned the stuff of secret fantasies, here -- I enjoyed the poem and the images it brought with it ...

I do, however, have one suggestion regarding phrasing: in the first line, you might consider replacing "shudder" with "shiver," as the former has negative connotations that do not mesh with the intent of this piece.  For example, you might "shudder" in disgust, but you would "shiver" with delight.

Just my two cents -- thank you for the read, it was very -- erm -- refreshing!  

--Kess


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest


devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
15 posted 2000-02-09 02:53 PM


You know Kess...now that I look at that you're right..thanks hun..just for you..it's changed!!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
16 posted 2000-02-09 03:06 PM


Promises so sweet,
promises to keep,
promises kept only in my sleep.

Well done Lady, your work never disappoints!
Danny

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
17 posted 2000-02-09 04:19 PM


My thanks Danny...
the heart can speak many a words...
if only there's someone to listen!!


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

18 posted 2000-02-09 05:22 PM


Mmmm...Fog is very nice too!  and sunshine,
partly cloudy,  daytime, nighttime...

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

19 posted 2000-02-09 05:29 PM


like this lots, have never done this, lol, but then I am not dead yet either *giggles*
great poem  

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
20 posted 2000-02-09 07:41 PM


devina,
I've been listening to the song of a fallen angel.     
It paints of hearts turned lightly blue.
and you whose wings are so unstable,
I give a hug to help you through.



Parker

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
21 posted 2000-02-09 07:44 PM


Wonderful poem!
Very romantic, just how I like them
(And incidently, Skyfire's two cents are worth gold)
Liz

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

22 posted 2000-02-09 07:51 PM


Simplistic, fluid, dripping with romance...perfect!

Claire

fool
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 61

23 posted 2000-02-09 08:02 PM


I love the last Stanza,
pure romance,just lovely  .

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
24 posted 2000-02-09 08:14 PM


This is great, Devina! I've never tried it either.......er, does mudwrestling count?  
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
25 posted 2000-02-09 08:56 PM


serenity- I'm sure you're right!!!

Corazon- try it woman...you'll LOVE the memories!! G***

James- Your hug is much appreciated love, what would I do without you????

Liz- thanks hun, I agree with you about Kess..I must of overlooked that before!!!

Claire- that's the most colorful comment I've ever recieved...I thank you!!!

fool- my thanks to you!!!

Balladeer- lol@picturing you rollin in the mud!!!!!! I guess it counts if you..er...finish!!!!he he


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
26 posted 2000-02-09 09:00 PM


Love the romance of this poem.  It does make me wish for rain so I can experiment.
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
27 posted 2000-02-10 03:08 AM


Come visit us in California m'dear...we seem to be getting a light sprinkle or two at the moment!!!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
28 posted 2000-02-10 03:11 AM


I'll just leave you with the big dopey grin this gave me!


Alias
Junior Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 30

29 posted 2000-02-10 03:14 AM


Great Poem Devina!
i love the rain

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
30 posted 2000-02-10 01:18 PM


LOL@you Chris!!!!! Whose mind is, hmmm???hehe

Thank you Alias..hope you're enjoying your stay at passions!!!


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
31 posted 2000-02-11 03:29 AM


devina, this is so absolutely beautiful!  I loved every word of it!

 Did Jesus laugh?
I think He did,
'cause He was once
a little kid;
and all of us
were made with joy
both sugar-spice girl
and snake-snail boy!

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
32 posted 2000-02-11 10:56 AM


My thanks to you Mel...glad to see that you've been able to stay awhile longer...I miss you already!!!! (I'll give the guilt again later when you if you decide to go!!!)

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
33 posted 2000-02-11 10:59 AM


Yep, some of them pastures can really be muddy Balladeer.....
angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
34 posted 2000-02-11 11:04 AM


Yet anougher success, your writing truly is devine, devina, is this the metaphor behind your user name or is it infact your real name, who knows, all I know is that you realy are devine .
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