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Open Poetry #6
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tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA

0 posted 2000-02-07 05:19 PM


One morning when you wake up
You will see the light of day
Until that morning comes my dear
You'll dream your life away
On rainbow colored ice you skate
With wings upon your feet
Fly through hill's of daffodil's
Until bitter time is sweet
Skies of amber waves of grain
Dance in sun lights glow
For truth in black and white my love
You truly, do not know
Gaining worth of one's self
Admitting to the lies
Drift away in silent nights
In cotton candy skies

  © tori 2000

< !signature-->

 If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm


[This message has been edited by tori (edited 02-07-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Victoria Hosier/tori - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-02-07 05:47 PM


Tori, this  sang to me! SO NICE! -SEA
tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
2 posted 2000-02-07 07:06 PM


Thank you Sea!! this came to me  after conversation with a few 16 year olds..lol...

 If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-02-07 07:56 PM


Tori-
This is very, very nice.
Sixteen year olds can be inspiring
with their views and spirit.

I wrote a poem by the same title
and it's interesting how different it is.
Perhaps I'll share it with you.  

I really like the perceptions in this piece.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

4 posted 2000-02-07 10:37 PM


Enjoyed... flowed very nicely. Well done.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
5 posted 2000-02-07 10:43 PM


Tori what imagery and wow the flow! Melted right off the page! Excellent work, bravo! Clapping, clapping!  

 <*\\\><

When you can't make up your mind
Which way is right for you,
Stop and softly ask yourself,
What Would Jesus Do?

monique
Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369
Louisiana
6 posted 2000-02-08 02:50 AM


WOW! Your poem sure made my spirit lift up high. I will be soaring for awhile.
monique

tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
7 posted 2000-02-08 07:06 AM


Marge~I would love to read the poem! your right they do inspier ~ thanks.

Mike~ Thanks for reading glad you enjoyed!

Rebecca~ Thank you girl !


monique~ Thanks so much its always nice to know you've lifted one's spirits....




 If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
8 posted 2000-02-08 08:07 AM


Cotton candy is so sweet,
Something you would like to eat,
But until man learns to fly,
He can't taste those candy skies

But there's things here on the ground,
That are as sweet as can be found,
In those cotton candy skies,
It's right there in between your thi...um, uh, er...eyes..yea, that's it...

very nice poem gal....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 02-08-2000).]

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
9 posted 2000-02-08 08:24 AM


Well if there is a cotton candy sky i'm in it
But don't wait too long for me I love candy  
such nice and certainly sweet poem Tori
I know you just as sweet  

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
10 posted 2000-02-08 08:54 AM


LOL~ loved yours too Mr Rag...

Helmut~ thanks buddy... Big Hugs..

 If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
11 posted 2000-02-08 08:59 AM


There is a lot of good stuff in this poem.. hope and patience... I like it...  

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
12 posted 2000-02-08 12:26 PM


love it tori!  Flows greatly too!

 Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin*


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
13 posted 2000-02-08 12:31 PM


Love the allusion and the flow of this piece.  Beautifully done, tori.


Michael

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
14 posted 2000-02-26 08:31 PM


Loved the imagery in this, nice job
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2000-02-27 09:53 PM


Wonderful poem, Tori!  

Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
16 posted 2000-02-28 09:03 AM


Cotton Candy skies...what nice images that brings to mind  
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