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Open Poetry #6
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Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...

0 posted 2000-02-07 05:11 PM


Pale moon wonder graces the night
her elegant form gliding silently
in sultry dance among the stars
Gentle light luminous
seducing all that gaze upon her...

Ice particles hidden in a wintry breeze
float through the night air
drawn to a huddled form
Shrouding her hair in a frosty veil
coating damp lashes with snowflakes...

The woman shivers
hugging her knees closer
She sinks further into the chair
cold plastic biting into her naked arms
She takes a long drag on her only warmth
embers glowing..then fading
exhaled in a clouded sigh

Tears flow freely in lunar glow
gliding translucence
reflected in unearthly beauty
She gazes sadly upon the moon
looking through to another time
when shimmering light fell
soft upon a trembling body
Moonlight embracing sadness
echoing haunted eyes
trapped within a distant memory...



 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

© Copyright 2000 Denise Blackwell - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-02-07 06:03 PM


Breathe, this paints such a sad and beautiful picture. Very nice.   -SEA
Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
2 posted 2000-02-07 07:42 PM


Thank you SEA...*smiling*

 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

bobbycat
Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233
USA
3 posted 2000-02-07 09:52 PM


Wow....I could actually see the woman, feel her chills....you paint such an excellent picture with your words.   Great job.  

Bobbycat =^..^=

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
4 posted 2000-02-07 09:58 PM


I'd have to say this is one of the best free verse poems I've read in quite some time.  Lovely imagery here.  Well done!!  
Majestic
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
5 posted 2000-02-07 11:42 PM


Wow..what imagery....I can still see the breath as it steams from her mouth...excellent..
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-02-07 11:51 PM


Breathe~
Ahhhhh !  You've been in touch
with a wonderous muse in this one.
This is a beautifully image-ladened
piece of your heart.
Powerfully alive with feeling.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
7 posted 2000-02-08 12:00 PM


Beautiful poem Breathe~, I loved it. I get a real sense of lonliness from this.

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-02-08 12:04 PM


Wonderful imagery! You brought it alive in my world! Very well done!

 <*\\\><

When you can't make up your mind
Which way is right for you,
Stop and softly ask yourself,
What Would Jesus Do?

Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
9 posted 2000-02-08 10:58 AM


Bobbycat...Thank you... )

Sally...Wow!...what a wonderful compliment!  Thanks... )

Majestic...and the chill in her heart...thank you... )

Marge...Not only do you have the most wonderful poems...you have wonderful comments too...I love just seeing your name...cuz I know something good is coming... )

Thank you Mistikman...are you going to be posting some more poems with us?  I hope so..I am looking forward to it... )

WhtDove...from my world to yours...Thank you... )


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 2000-02-08 11:29 AM


Beautiful Imagery  
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
11 posted 2000-02-08 01:05 PM


Wonderful poem!

 Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin*


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
12 posted 2000-02-08 04:46 PM


Very sad indeed Breathe... you painted the scene well and I commend your effort. I bow to you and yours... and the lady in the snow.
Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
13 posted 2000-02-08 09:03 PM


Thank you Hoot and Echo... )

Andrew...I am no longer the lady in the snow...that was an effort in itself... )  Thank you for your comments...


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

14 posted 2000-02-08 10:34 PM


Some very delicate and nicely crafted imagery here...I really enjoyed reading  this!

Claire

Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
15 posted 2000-02-09 02:44 AM


Thank you Claire!... )

 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

16 posted 2000-02-09 05:05 AM


WOW what a picture I see in your words....awesome
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