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Passions in Poetry

water pistol from laramie

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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 02-06-2000 01:04 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

I wrote this into my tape recorder from my mouth pretty much right after I woke up this morning. Talk about a good way to clear the cobwebs.  

Mike

-water pistol from laramie-
Sometimes life seems unfair to me
Like a water pistol from Laramie:
Whose action you have to pump repeatedly
Just to get an arch, an arc of uncivility.

But yet the stream is so civilized
As it wets you right between the eyes --
And sometimes even between the thighs --
This little pistol we all prize.

Sometimes you worry the clouds will swallow you whole.
Sometimes you wonder, will there ever be any gold dust in this bowl?
And sometimes you howl lost control
Over the things you've sworn have stole your soul.

But in again steps Laramie;
And even though that's unfair to me,
I will share it with you, and I'll share it with me.
We'll see why pleasure begins with 'p' and ends with 'e'.

I'm not even exactly sure what that means.
There's no gold dust; just rice and beans.
There's more than one way to fix the seams,
Or pluck them away to save your dreams.

And thank you water pistol from Laramie:
I've seen some things I thought I'd someday see;
So I'm not as surprised as I guess I could be.
But thank you water pistol from Laramie.

And though life isn't always what it seems to be.
Cracked up, fragile statuette -- shadowed lonely.
There's plenty of oil in this gun from Laramie
To grease the joints and walk away free.

There's no need to hide out in your store
Stoned -- oh, the world is such a bore.
No need to hide your life away in text.
The Laramie pistol will get you next.

So once more, thank you Laramie,
And even my brother, Jeremy,
And the waters from the California sea,
Strengthening my creativity and clarity.

An escape without self-delusion therapy.
Sidestepping the horror, noticing the beauty.
Saving us from drugs and droughts and thoughts that make us sink.
Thank you water pistol from Laramie.
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 02-06-2000 01:54 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Mike, I don't know what you were dreaming about last night, but hey, I had beans and rice for dinner last night! (lol) This was neat, even if I didn't get it.The beaches of California are the best- especially Samoa. (off Eureka) Cool poem. -SEA
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 02-06-2000 02:02 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Well, Quick Draw McGraw, I'm not so
sure I understand this one ...  
but, hey! if it cleared cobwebs for you,
then it's a good thing.
Keep writing.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Bbuzz
Member
since 12-17-1999
Posts 76
Washinton State


3 posted 02-06-2000 04:01 PM       View Profile for Bbuzz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bbuzz

I am not sure why , exactly, but I want a water pistol from Laramie!  LOL
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 02-06-2000 04:23 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Mike, you've certainly got a "lot" going on in this piece...and this is what you woke up with today? (hmmmmm....) I must say, it's a wee bit more than what I woke up with!  

Claire
devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


5 posted 02-06-2000 04:32 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Ok, now you've got me wondering....what exactly did you dream about last night??? Did you eat candy before bed??? LOL!!! This was great, my coffee and I enjoyed every bit of it this morning!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 12-15-1999
Posts 335


6 posted 02-06-2000 04:44 PM       View Profile for Ted Reynolds   Email Ted Reynolds   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ted Reynolds

You've got a problem with being too interesting.  After the first two stanzas, I felt more like running off and getting my pistol, than reading the rest of the poem.  (But I stuck in there.  NOW I'll go get my pistol!)
Gene
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since 01-23-2000
Posts 940
Colorado, USA


7 posted 02-06-2000 05:19 PM       View Profile for Gene   Email Gene   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Gene's Home Page   View IP for Gene

But this is how dreams work. It's not easy getting a dream down on paper the way it happens. Made perfect sense to me.   But then, you see some of my dreams.  

Next time, Mike, lay off the beans.  

~Gene
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


8 posted 02-06-2000 05:28 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

bsquirrel,
Sounds like you got pissed instead of a pistol in laramie. But I enjoyed the read.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


9 posted 02-06-2000 05:37 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

See? Sy got it right away. Now boys, when you get done playing with your water pistols,lets talk about passionate poetry!
This one did make me smile, though
Liz
bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 02-07-2000 01:47 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

SEA,
Eureka? That's too far!

Marge,
Thanks. I'm surprised something this semi-coherent came out of me at all that early on.

Bbuzz,
You won't be laughing when I SuperSoak you!

Meadowmuse,
There's definitely a lot going on in this. Exactly what, I'm only vaguely certain. Thanks for reading and enjoying.

devina,
Glad to make you smile. And I don't remember my dreams at all...

Ted,
To heck with Laramie. Do you remember those stupid Entertech motorized pistols? The AK Centerfire? I retain some interesting childhood memories.  

u_gene,
I can't comment without sounding crude. Thanks!

Seymour,
Not quite. Maybe a few more reads are in order?  

E.S.,
Glad you liked it; and again, not quite.

Mike
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


11 posted 02-07-2000 09:50 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

really liked this, great job...love the way you write  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


12 posted 02-07-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Geesh...why can't I have dreams like that  
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


13 posted 02-07-2000 02:18 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

When all else fails, there's nothing like a water pistol pelting to get the day going.  Enjoyed!
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


14 posted 02-07-2000 06:45 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

LoL, all I keep thinking about is cigarettes LoL, cause on the Simpson's the brand of cigarettes theyhave are Laramie, anyway, i too am quite curious what you dreamt aboutand so forth to wake up and write this LoL, but whatever it was, this is a great poem!

 Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin*

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


15 posted 02-07-2000 08:09 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I'm not sure, but I think I am now suffering from "water pistol from Laramie-envy..."

Quick, somebody page Dr. Freud!!!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


16 posted 02-08-2000 01:37 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Corazon,
Thank you, and glad you enjoyed.

hoot,
Actually, I didn't dream that either -- at least not that I remember. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what got me thinking of water pistols either.

Martie,
Thanks. It's been years since I've gone anywhere near a water pistol fight; a shame.

Echo Rhayne,
Ah yes, Laramie. You know, I hadn't thought of that -- which surprises me, since I love the Simpsons.   Anyway, I'm pretty sure I messed up the manufacturer's name -- the company that makes Super Soakers -- but I'm not changing it now. It sorta adds to the dreamlike quality of this poem. Yeah, that's it.

serenity,
Hey, you figured it out! Well, partly.  

Mike
 
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