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Passions in Poetry

This is the first poem I have ever let anyone see. Let me know what you think.

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catwomen
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
[First Post] 49


0 posted 02-05-2000 10:59 PM       View Profile for catwomen   Email catwomen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for catwomen

Way up high away from eyesight stands a tattered figure
Her body is sickly emaciated, as the girl who lives in it is too preoccupied to realize she is thinning away.
She looks out onto the panoramic view before her
The sight promises a long trip down
A nauseating feeling settles in her stomach, she comforts herself by oathing that soon the feeling will subside…………….. Forever
“No more shrinks”, “No more disappearing acts”, “Don’t worry mother you won’t have to pretend I’m dead anymore”
Her legs begin to teeter uncontrollably
Ungluing herself from solid ground
She cries out in one last desperation “Why didn’t you stop me”
Her question is left unanswered, unheard
As she crashes onto the deaf rocks.
© Copyright 2000 catwomen - All Rights Reserved
Breathe~
Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 319
Washington...


1 posted 02-05-2000 11:02 PM       View Profile for Breathe~   Email Breathe~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Breathe~

Wow...a very powerful statement...

Keep it up... )
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 02-05-2000 11:04 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Welcome to Passions, Catwomen! This is very sad and filled with lonely desperation. It is very sad that a person can get to the point where they feel they have no other options. Please check your email for a special welcome!

Denise
L Tiuch
Member
since 02-04-2000
Posts 151
NY


3 posted 02-05-2000 11:07 PM       View Profile for L Tiuch   Email L Tiuch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for L Tiuch

Your desperation is cetainly a cry for help.  I feel like I want to "catch" you mid-fall and stop you as you asked.  Really powerful.  Welcome to Passions...it's my first day too.
catwomen
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 49


4 posted 02-05-2000 11:08 PM       View Profile for catwomen   Email catwomen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for catwomen

Thank you for reading my poem, however I must admit this was written a long time ago and I know longer feel this way.
Alina Le Ann
Junior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 40
INDIANA


5 posted 02-05-2000 11:08 PM       View Profile for Alina Le Ann   Email Alina Le Ann   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Alina Le Ann's Home Page   View IP for Alina Le Ann

WOW!!!
This is one of those poems that sends chills down your spine.... and that's exactly what it did to me.

Well Done

Alina Le Ann    
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


6 posted 02-05-2000 11:42 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Catwomen, Welcome! This poem is tragic, sad, and beautifully written. I'm so glad you don't feel that way anymore!-SEA
just_another_fe
Senior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 504
MICHIGAN


7 posted 02-05-2000 11:59 PM       View Profile for just_another_fe   Email just_another_fe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit just_another_fe's Home Page   View IP for just_another_fe

WOW! THAT WAS A GOOD POAM. IT GAVE ME CHILLS.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
Gemini
Senior Member
since 12-15-1999
Posts 1223
Wisconsin, USA


8 posted 02-06-2000 12:01 AM       View Profile for Gemini   Email Gemini   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gemini

A very moving poem.  I was there, felt that way after my father died.   So glad you chose the rougher road to travel, because on the other road there really are no options. Welcome.
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


9 posted 02-06-2000 12:09 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Catwomen a very deep, powerful and emotional poem I'm also glad you don't feel that way anymore it must have been a lonely and desperate time for you. Welcome to our little haven.  Tracie      
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


10 posted 02-06-2000 05:27 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Hey ... can't say as I've ever felt like jumping ... can think of a few times when I'd like to have helped a couple others off
the edge though

Rex}<{{{{o>
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


11 posted 02-06-2000 07:29 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

catwoman, I was taken with you poem and with your talent. A welcome addition to the Passions forum. Sorry it took me so long to get to this poem, it's hard to keep up with all the postings. But anyway, welcome, dear poet. Look forward to many more
Liz
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


12 posted 02-07-2000 12:45 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Welcome my friend. . . yes, I know how hard it is to show that first poem to the eyes of others. . . but here you have found a community that will help you to become a better poet and a better person. . . we are indeed a family here at Passions. . .and family is always there for one another. . .

I love this poem. . .I like the symbolism and the power of your words. . . it's filled with very strong emotions. . . excellent. . .

Welcome!!

---------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

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