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Open Poetry #5
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2000-02-05 01:02 PM


Island Vine



The island vine
writes grapes in
Rolled up messages
Jammed in seafaring bottles
Remorse code
Tapped out on
Telegraph keys
Tap,
Tap,
Tap,
tap tap tap
Tap,
Tap,
Tap,

on Tenterhooks
she waits
as bottles wash
on Barren shores

Readers drink
taps and slashes
razors red
and black nails,
desire and thirst
lust in crimson verse

they Drink drunk
from shore borne
bottles
and thirst again

more

more

but they Leave her
on her island
like forgotten
grapes

a Tear falls like silk
on the tigress cheek
she waits
for someone
to drink her
instead of crushed
lexis
pressed from
her broken
heart

The island vine
Withers
As her fruit multiplies
Leaving nothing
Before ashes

Rare Vintage


She drinks like
Italian on tongue

Wine
She is hard
Glass like a bottle
Corked to the world
She stings with
A dry wang

But he
Needs the nails
And plum
Red
Crimson

He needs a strong
Full
Bodied nip

He needs her soft
Succulent sips
That hide
Like wine
Behind glass
Translucent

A grape easily bruised

He drinks her
full




 Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran

© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-02-05 01:14 PM


Intoxicating, I'll grant you that.

(liked the "remorse code")


Claire

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
2 posted 2000-02-05 03:20 PM


Thanks much Claire...  
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
3 posted 2000-02-05 06:45 PM


The best "wine" I've had in years dear man!!!!  

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-02-05 07:14 PM


Rebel-
Once in a great while a piece comes along that stuns me.  This one does.
I can't even find the exact words to tell you just how perfect I find this.

Rare Vintage may do it.
But, then ... even rarer than that.
So full-bodied with yet a subtle bouquet.

Stored this one in the cellar.
If you haven't guessed by now ...
I find it rich.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2000-02-05 08:42 PM


I'll have to agree with Marge. Very rare vintage, these two verses. I savored them both equally.
Nice work
Liz

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
6 posted 2000-02-05 10:01 PM


Intoxicating verse here........very well done  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-02-05 10:38 PM


These are both beautiful, LR! I enjoyed them immensley!  

Denise

Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
8 posted 2000-02-06 12:05 PM


Have to admit...your name drew me in...
but your poems kept me here...

Very nice... )

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
9 posted 2000-02-06 06:30 PM


I like both of these very much, LR... though I think the first is my favorite of the two... if only because I've tapped out that remorse code a few times myself... and the wait for a response is agonizing. *S*
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
10 posted 2000-02-07 09:02 AM


Thanks so much everyone... glad you enjoyed.  

 Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran

Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
11 posted 2000-02-07 09:41 AM


liked these much rebel, you have a unique way of drawing images that make them so real, you leave one of your poems with the images still flashing...great work
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

12 posted 2000-02-07 10:38 AM


hey can I just ditto Iloveit, she said it almost perfectly

ROFG and eating those dang cookies again this morning

great work though, really  

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