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Open Poetry #5
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2000-02-04 11:15 AM


           To be or not to be

The human termite kneads the ground
To hives of glass and steel surround.
Where polluted fare corrupts the air
And spears the very heavens there.

They spread across the earth impress.
Like psoriasis of distress.
And sorely wounds the sweet of soil,
To a cauldrons boiling toil.

Heaven and earth are in rebel,
We are turning life into hell.
Despite our sagacious and wise.
We are constructing our own demise.

I fear our cup has tipped to down,
Filled the mould with deaths impound.
We swim this sea of misery,
The quick, the slow and orderly.

And though we pray our good intend,
I cannot see salvations end.


© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2000-02-04 11:20 AM


Seymour, Wow! You have painted a very vivid picture in my mind. Great poem.   -SEA
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 2000-02-04 11:22 AM


Sy

This is a great poem!  I think its the best work you've done to date, and you have done a lot of great stuff.  This message is so clear, and your metaphor of termites and man is excellent.  Great job!

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2000-02-04 11:45 AM


Sy,
I could never say enough about this poem, it is so magnificent in every way, the content, the message, the versing, and of course your beautiful wordage,all make for a piece that puts the most known of poets to shame. This is truly your best and the best that I have read anywhere in a long time. I can only say BRAVO! but that is not enough.
Liz

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
4 posted 2000-02-04 11:48 AM


Great poem and strong message!

 Nathan

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
5 posted 2000-02-04 11:52 AM


This is an excellent message Sy...only you would be able to word it so beautifully and still get the point across!!!!!(you may bow before your audience Mr. Sy!!!)

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-02-04 01:21 PM


Everyone should have a chance to read this one, so back to the top it goes
Liz

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

7 posted 2000-02-04 01:26 PM


Well done.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2000-02-04 01:43 PM


Eloquent and interesting, Sy...good work.

Claire

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2000-02-04 01:44 PM


Skillful use of words as always, Seymour! Well done!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2000-02-04 02:10 PM


Come, sweet Soul, to walk the land
where still the grass is virgin and
no glass, no steel, no one but me
and God is all that your eye can see.

Come, sweet Soul, to my haven home
where Indian and bison once ago roamed
where lark and hawk share the sky,
come and walk, with God and I.

For though we pray our good intend,
a glimpse of salvation, your soul to mend.

***

Sy, I continue to aspire to the imagination you so willingly share.  Thank you.

 Sunshine
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2000-02-04 02:36 PM


I know the picture does seem grim
the earth so trampled by our whim
the sky it seems has lost its gleam
for shroud of gray so it would seem

But, light and life still flourish strong
and goodness still grows from the ground
and wisdom sings from many minds
and peace and love the spirit bind

Sy, wonderful poem and thought provoking message.

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
12 posted 2000-02-04 02:58 PM


I love poems about existentialism. This is a wonderful one.

~Gene

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2000-02-04 06:14 PM


Sea, Thank you for the great.

LngJhnAg, Wonderful comment, thank you.

Elizabeth, Lovely words and bravo, thank you
Love Sy

Nate, Thanks for the strong message.

Devina, Thank you sweet devina.

Mike, Thanks for the well done.

Denise, thank you for the skillful. *L*

Sunshine, Amen to salvation. *L*

Matrie, Sweet poem, beautiful comment. *L*

U-gene, thank you for the wonderful.

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