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Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462


0 posted 2000-02-03 11:09 PM


I've been hiding incognito, since 1989,
Since the night I tied one on, a quart of Boone's Farm wine,
Incoherent, stupored state, a slash with butcher knife,
In a fleeting, drunken second, forever changed my life,
Been on the run for ten plus years, first went to Minnesota,
A foreign country was my goal, tried Bismark, North Dakota,
I couldn't stand the culture shock, slipped back to the U.S.,
I shaved my head and eyebrows too, so's not to be conspicuous,
I watched my back-side day and night, I lived a hermit's life,
I cried myself to sleep each night, with picture of my wife,
I phoned collect one summer day, "It's Mike, I love you dear."
The only problem, had changed my name, twas Tim she knew, I fear,
I haven't heard her voice since then, since yelled,
"You dirty pervert!"
Reminded me of days gone bye, when first with her did flirt,
So now I roam big city streets, still from the Feds I run,
I fugitive I'll ever be, my troubles never done,
My live has been a living hell, since sobered up and saw,
Remains of mattress tag cut off, under penalty of law.



[This message has been edited by Mike (edited 02-03-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-02-03 11:19 PM


Mike/Tim-
Incognito, hell !  
You just blew your cover.  
I'd recognize that sense of humor
from a mile away !
LOL !
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-02-03 11:47 PM


ROTFLMAO...*tears running from my eyes*...Whew!! I am glad you took my challenge Tim. This was excellent!!
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-02-04 12:09 PM


I admire you! My Mattress-tag-cutting Hero! I always wondered who would come to my door if I cut mine!! LOL  good one!!!!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2000-02-04 07:21 AM


So these are the illicit acts you indulge yourself in within those secret chambers at night, eh?????
Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-02-04 09:44 AM


ROFL    Great ending!! Challenge well met!!

Denise

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

6 posted 2000-02-04 09:54 AM


All that from a quart of Boone's Farm??? Sheesh...I'd hate to think what a nice golden bottle of Mt. Gay Rum would get you into! I loved the part about crying yourself to sleep each night with picture of your wife! That could have been read to mean self inflicted torture! This was good for a morning's giggle, Mike. Tim. Tyke? Mim? Anyway, thanks fer th' grin.  


Claire

suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2000-02-04 10:03 AM


Great job, inconspicuous one! LOL
Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

8 posted 2000-02-04 11:54 AM


Sheesh Mike, how dumb can ya be?  That mattress's family might still be around, and your giving our cover away.  Get back under the blanket and stuff a pillow in your mouth.

On behalf of Mike, thx for the comments, but in his defense, it really was a matter of self-defense, the mattress attacked first.

And we are not in Kansas anymore.

[This message has been edited by Tim (edited 02-04-2000).]

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2000-02-04 01:37 PM


This was too cute-- Tim, you have so much versatility.  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 2000-02-04 02:39 PM


ROFL...I walk on the wild side and cut those tags all the time  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2000-02-04 03:09 PM


Hope you don't mind if I print this one out and share it with the mattress industry. It is hilarious! We have a bedding factory and this question often comes up. It's the retailer who can not cut the tag off. The consumer can do anything he pleases with the tag. But a little warning if you're going to buy a mattress, if the law tag is yellow, you got a mattress that was used and just recovered. Always buy a mattress with a white tag.
Liz



[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 02-04-2000).]

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