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Passions in Poetry

Garden Sonnets

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 02-03-2000 01:28 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Skyfyre

The Secret Garden

A barren waste, a stretch of sterile soil,
A blemish on the spirit's solemn face:
So waxed my heart in wake of treason's toil,
For I had labeled it forbidden place.
No more would I entreat the luscious green
Which only served the serpent's form to hide;
No longer would provide pastoral scene
Where thorns of harsh betrayal might abide.
And yet, your winsome smile hath placed its seed
Without intent, upon that vacant earth,
And fed with quiet hopes and secret need,
A bud of rarest splendor found its birth.
Such tender grace doth blooming Love impart
When nurtured in the gardens of the heart!

If aught is truth in reaping what you sow,
Then I should find my soul an endless field
With seas of swaying blossoms all aglow,
For such a fertile hope hast thou revealed
In me, with but a brush of gracious hand,
That I suspect my cup shall overflow,
And spill my joy upon the thirsty land
To further urge my passion's seed to grow.
I shall in wonder stand, my soft regard
So rapt upon this wondrous verdancy,
And there remain, until my spirit's yard
Hath overgrown with you, and swallowed me.
A monument I'll stand, with blissful face,
Entwined in evergreen of Love's embrace.


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest





[This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 02-05-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 02-03-2000 01:33 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Skyfyre, this is soooooo dreamy! Loved it!   -SEA
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 02-03-2000 07:23 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Lovely as always  
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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3 posted 02-03-2000 08:23 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

WOW Gotta love them sonnets!!!
Simply beautiful, Kess!!  Well done, as always!

Denise
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 02-03-2000 08:42 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Oh, I can relate to this so well--beautiful!
jbouder
Member Elite
since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


5 posted 02-03-2000 09:25 PM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Beautifully written, Kess.  What's frustrating to me is I bet this took you a fraction of the time it would have taken me.  

 Jim

"If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther

Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


6 posted 02-03-2000 11:18 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

My favorite form of poetry, the sonnet, especially when so beautifully done.
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


7 posted 02-04-2000 07:16 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I'm sure that you think in iambic pentameter... Do you converse in it as well? I really think you must....

and I particularly like the final couplet on this one... Nice job, my friend..
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


8 posted 02-04-2000 08:32 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Kess, this is just hypnotic. Not sleepy, by any stretch, but surely serenity's song! What a gifting you have imparted with this work! Absolutely dream ~ invoking.

One very minor constructive (I hope) crit ... In the second stanza, fourth line, if you were to invert "thou" and "hast" I think it might verbally roll a bit easier... at least, it did for me. Could be that I'm still reading with "Foggy Mountain Mornin' mind" though!  


"For such a fertile hope hast thou revealed"

All to be told, I believe this is one of the loveliest poems (of ANY form) I have read, ever, and I am not the least bit surprised by that.  

Take care,
Claire
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


9 posted 02-04-2000 11:19 AM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

So waxed my heart in wake of treason's toil,
For I had labeled it forbidden place.
No more would I entreat the luscious green
Which only served the serpent's form to hide;
No longer would provide pastoral scene
Where thorns of harsh betrayal might abide.

Simply Exquisite Kess My Friend

Jenny Lee
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


10 posted 02-05-2000 12:27 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

SEA:  Thank you!    

Ruth, Denise:  You two are the backbones of this place.  Thank you so much for your support -- it means a lot.    

Martie:  Glad I touched a chord with you my friend.

Jim:  LOL -- I promise I won't tell you how long it took me to write it, then.  Thank you for reading.    

Mike:  Such praise from a poet like yourself is gratifying -- I appreciate it.    

Nan:  I don't converse in IP, but I do believe I think in it to some extent -- LOL.    

Claire:  Thank you for the read and the advice -- it was taken, as you can see.    

Jenny:  Glad I could bring a smile to your face, my friend.  At the risk of ruining my reputation, I must admit that I LIKE writing this sappy stuff -- LOL.    

Thanks again, all ...

--Kess




[This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 02-05-2000).]
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


11 posted 02-05-2000 01:24 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Beautiful!
I love this/these! The choice of imagery is magnificent, yet I would like to ask why you chose the color green? Was it intentional to show "envy" or was it for a different reason?

-And-

"If aught is truth in reaping what you sow,
Then I should find my soul an endless field"

Perhaps I am wierd, (OK, not perhaps,) but I read this as you reaping your own soul???

-And-

"So waxed my heart in wake of treason's toil,
For I had labeled it forbidden place."

Powerful statement, which I empathize with completely!!! Maggy-nificent!!!

Don't misunderstand, this is magnificent... just that so many phrases jumped out at me, which is indeed, a good thing!!!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


12 posted 02-15-2001 12:45 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I love this...have been off in search of nature poems...and found a treasure....click*
into my library!
 
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