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Open Poetry #5
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To My Valentine (Acrostically Challenged)
| Open Poetry #5 |
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To My Valentine (Acrostically Challenged) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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To My Valentine So vivid the dreams which waking belies- How perfect they seem yet still we deny. Often the chances are ones we can’t see, Whisp’ring in voices n’er daring to be. Mouthing out wishes, hiding from sight, Ever suspicious of new love’s delight. However, as always, life knows of no bounds: Of only the blazes which ever confound. Working its wonder it captures the soul- Trapping you under yet making you whole. Of two it makes one, sep’rate halves combined. Learning turns fun; laughter’s unconfined. Old wound’s still aching - my heart carries scars. Vacant and shaking, I long from afar. Eager to touch you - I hope you’re the “one.” Although this is new I beg you not shun. Grant this single chance, “Yet another,” I know. Allow me one dance, A last time to show. If we discover, I am not the fool: No greater lover, than I loving you. [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-01-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
WOW!! This is beautiful, Christopher! Very well done and an acrostic too!! Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 02-01-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is truly one of your best. You amaze me! A poet with such depth! A writer of prose with such imagination and an artist with such vision! I hope you send this lovely verse to your valentine! She'll melt I'm sure!  |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
 That's what your poem is~ Grrr... or should I say purrrr....... Marie~ |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Well done. Challange met and exceeded! I wish I had you talent my friend.  |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Awwww! Such a sweet poem, m'friend! I agree with PdV, you should definately give this to your Valentine..your heart shines through in your words! Superbulous! May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Excellent words....great presentation |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
That's our CHRISTOPHER Forward and Backward Calling his love Happily in verse Rewarding us all In his words Stupendously heading Toward an Outside Promise Having Entered Readily Really now Everyone How Purely he Offers That heart Staying just Inside Running his Heart through our poet's Circle ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Christopher you awe us once again with your talents. Very well done, and it's nice to see you posting! |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Ah, so beautiful! You definetly have a silver tongue! Much enjoyed In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Yikes!!! You work sooooo hard!! This is greeeeeat! Now, don't you go challenging me to another acrostic sestina. I'd have to do a "My Bloody Valentine" version on ya! LOL Yikes, again!! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
You've presented yourself well m'friend...so there IS a soft spot under that cute face of yours huh??? Somehow I thought there would be!!  Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Excellent as always Chick-a-dee This is beautiful! Jenny |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
APPLAUDING wonderful acrostic my friend |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Working its wonder it captures the soul- Trapping you under yet making you whole. Excellent as always Christopher These are my favorite lines \Jenny |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
A tenderly written Valentine poem, and not at all challenged, in my not-so-humble opinion.  However, should you be interested in magnifying the effect of the acrostic, I would suggest removing the spacing between the couplets. Easier to read that way, and 'twould not detract from the form at all.As far as the meter -- it isn't PERFECT, which is good, cause then you would be putting me to sleep. I think it has just enough variety to make things interesting. --Me Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Wonderful job as always, you never cease to amaze me Christopher!! Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Super job with this Christopher. Bravo! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Well done Sir Christopher... spoken like a true romantic. I bow to you and yours. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Denise- Wow!! Thank you!!!Sharon- Make me blush yet again!!! Marie- "Purrr" works just fine!!! Marilyn- Whatcha' talkin' 'bout? You have all my talent and more!!! Satiate- Find me one, and I'll give it to her!!! Balladeer- Thanks kind sir!Marge- Geez! Whatcha tryin to say? That I'm inside out??? LOL, thank you!!! Becca- You awe me with your replies!!! Abe- Welcome again, thank you again! Sally- Ok, so where is it? I'm expecting another acrostic sestina, with the title "My Bloody Valentine!" Devina- My mom says that she didn't drop me on purpose! Says the doc said the soft spot would hardly be noticable by the time I was thirty!!! Jenny- Smiles and clucks!!!Ruth- Applause heard loudly!!! Thank you mistress of the verse! Kess- Interesting...hmmm...BE QUIET!!! No, of course I'm kidding! Thank you for the advice m'lady. Taken to heart!!! Isis- May I never cease m'friend! Martie- And a super reply!!! Andrew- Takes one to know one, the bow is returned! |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Christopher, Christopher, Christopher......Truly beautiful! I too applaud your works my friend! I am going to miss your wonderful poems while I am away. Take care of yourself! Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin* |
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Alina Le Ann Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 40INDIANA |
This is wonderful!!!! Well Written....and very beautiful! Alina Le Ann |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Lucky lucky lady...  )Valentines just around the corner...and I feel the pressure...What to write? What to write? ) |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Christopher, you have a way with words, this was beautiful. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Echo- Will miss you too! Take care!! Alina- Thank yo for reading and the nice comments! Breathe- What lady??? (confused look) Gemini- No, words have a way with me!!! |
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catwomen Junior Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 49 |
Beautiful poem. You are very talented. I agree you should send this to your valentine she will love it. |
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