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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 2000-01-27 10:02 AM


(I have a co-worker who is convinced I can write a poem about anything, her challange was to write about the holocaust...perhaps this poem proves her wrong.)

Holocaust

Three feet deep, the ditch it stands
Quiet is the early hour
In a line, the women march
And at its edge, they cower

Soldiers stand around them
Their guns they all hold high
Shots disturb the silence
And all the women die

Prodded, poked, herded up
They’re forced to climb the ramps
The fathers board the crowded trains
Headed for work camps

The children let out anguished cries
As they stand there skin and bone
They once belonged to a family
Now they are left alone

Bodies buried in mass graves
People lived in fear
And history’s painted with the blood
Of Six Million who died there


< !signature-->

 I can live with the idea
That we are merely actors
Playing a part
But I do wish
Whoever is writing my script
Would learn to use
A few more Happy Endings
~Javan


[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 01-27-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-01-27 10:16 AM


I would agree with your co-worker. You can.
Well done, Ruth!

Denise

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
2 posted 2000-01-27 10:44 AM


This peom brings me to silence.  The writing is good, the context expresses the suffering that leaves me without words.
DH

 

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
3 posted 2000-01-27 01:20 PM


With no shadow of doubt I know you could
and you did. You have a special gift.
Thank you for keeping the memory alive
Helmut

So sad, ..so so sad

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
4 posted 2000-01-27 01:47 PM


It doesn't prove your co-worker a bit wrong, Ruth. Your challenge has been well-met.

Elizabeth

 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible


Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
5 posted 2000-01-27 03:21 PM


Wow, Ruth, this one gave me chills.  You paint the picture very well.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-01-27 06:08 PM


Very moving, Hoot, a subject which pierces my soul
Well done
Liz

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
7 posted 2000-01-27 08:05 PM


deleted!  Sorry Ruth, thanks for your wonderfully kind reply though!!

[This message has been edited by Echo Rhayne (edited 01-28-2000).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2000-01-27 11:27 PM


ECHO ...wow, what an excellent portrayal, although so heartbreakingly sad, you've spoke volumes in your words. Please submit this to somewhere that publishes poetry on the Holocaust. It's a wonderful reminder of the acrosities commited. You've way outdone my little poem with your reply  

Everyone else...thank you. I wrote this in about 10 minutes at work for her last night. Perhaps it's something everyone should remember from time to time and perhaps if we do, the horrors commited there will never occur again.


 I can live with the idea
That we are merely actors
Playing a part
But I do wish
Whoever is writing my script
Would learn to use
A few more Happy Endings
~Javan

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2000-01-28 12:45 PM


A challenge well-met indeed. Something as horrific as the Holocast I'd never attempt in writing. It's too easy to use pat cliches for evil, sweeping generalities for suffering, and whatever we absorbed by watching old reels -- which brings the sights, but not so much the sounds, the smells, and all the other tactile horrors. Having said that, I also have to say both of you did a tremendous job with it. You steered away from simplicity and really hit hard. The image of "women in a line/all of them die" (paraphrase) and the other poem, with its effective pairings of words that wouldn't go together in a saner world, ... just, wow. Great, great work. Let's hope those sorts of actions are never repeated...

Mike

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