»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #5
»
adjacently apart
| Open Poetry #5 |
|
adjacently apart |
|
|
fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
adjacently apart after so many years together one look in her eyes was all it took for him to need to interrogate how is your heart today? her weariness made her forget and she replied, with the truth and a sigh, my heart is tired, tired and heavy. and immediately she regretted the honesty as he with that bound and determined to get inside her head look asked why? she retreated, looked down and away a practiced art she had long ago mastered and said oh, just a long day, I guess. he tried twice to recapture her gaze but too many years had taught him that those few words had just slammed the door and turned the lock he angered and turned to go, so in the name of peace she deftly she inserted how was your day? and she watched his mouth expelling words as if she cared [This message has been edited by fc (edited 01-26-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 fc - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
So sad... and such an accurate description of a relationship in decline. Well done! |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Your poetry is very expressive and having come from where you are coming from, it speaks (screams) to my heart. Your words are sad, but yet I sense the strength behind them in the person that is you. Here's to better days ahead and much happier poetry. Please keep writing, it truly cleanses the soul  |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A wonderful expression, FC. I'm sure many can relate to this scene! Well done! Denise |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
FC, this is so strong. The sad part is just how well many of us can relate. Great job! -SEA |
||
|
spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
As said before me its such a sad thing that so many of us can relate. Well done Richard |
||
|
fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
suthern-yep sadly so, hoot thanks, I hope I can someday get to where you are... denise, SEA, and spiked, thank you for the compliment, and I offer sympathy that you all can relate...*sigh* |
||
|
JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
FC, am I going to tell you there's a typo in the title of your powerful poem ? ... Let me think about it ... Nah, I won't ...  |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Your poetry is very powerful You've catured a relationship in a few short lines Liz |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
JTF: If I've resisted, you can too! LOL. |
||
|
JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
Auntie, don't try to fool me ... you didn't see it !! ...  |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Froggie... surely you jest! LOL. I notice everyone's typos but my own! *G* |
||
|
Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
again, *stomping the floor and kicking the wall*...these dang cookies are maddening.... [This message has been edited by Iloveit (edited 01-26-2000).] |
||
|
fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
thanks all glad you liked ...and what typo????...*very innocent look* I didn't see one lol...thanks for the smiles and for not mentioning it....both of you *g* |
||
|
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Good grasp of psychology -- and you're sympathetic and critical of both persons at the same time; I like that. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
fc, this is such a reality and so clear in showing these lives and feelings. Well done! |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Such beauty in such sadness...hugs... 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
||
|
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
fc, there is often a certain bond and brutality in the truth of a thing, and you've twined both into this brief and striking vignette. Well done.  Claire |
||
|
One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
Wow, how powerful. I may be going out on a limb here, but are you angry at someone? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
