How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #5 Archive
 adjacently apart
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

adjacently apart

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


0 posted 01-24-2000 10:55 AM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fc

adjacently apart

after so many years together
one look in her eyes was all it took for him to need to
interrogate how is your heart today?
her weariness made her forget and she replied, with
the truth and a sigh,
my heart is tired, tired  and heavy.
and immediately she regretted the honesty
as he with that
bound and determined to get inside her head look
asked why?
she retreated, looked down and away
a practiced art she had long ago mastered
and said oh, just a long day, I guess.
he tried twice to recapture her gaze but too many years had taught him
that those few words had just slammed the door and turned the lock
he angered and turned to go,
so in the name of peace she
deftly she inserted how was your day?
and she watched his mouth
expelling words
as if she cared



[This message has been edited by fc (edited 01-26-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 fc - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 01-24-2000 10:58 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

So sad... and such an accurate description of a relationship in decline. Well done!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 01-24-2000 11:35 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Your poetry is very expressive and having come from where you are coming from, it speaks (screams) to my heart. Your words are sad, but yet I sense the strength behind them in the person that is you. Here's to better days ahead and much happier poetry. Please keep writing, it truly cleanses the soul  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 01-24-2000 01:07 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

A wonderful expression, FC. I'm sure many can relate to this scene! Well done!

Denise
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


4 posted 01-24-2000 01:12 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

FC, this is so strong. The sad part is just how well many of us can relate. Great job! -SEA
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


5 posted 01-24-2000 01:55 PM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

As said before me its such a sad thing that so many of us can relate.
Well done

Richard
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


6 posted 01-24-2000 04:26 PM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

suthern-yep sadly so, hoot thanks, I hope I can someday get to where you are...
denise, SEA, and spiked, thank you for the compliment, and I offer sympathy that you all can relate...*sigh*
JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


7 posted 01-26-2000 05:35 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

FC, am I going to tell you there's a typo in the title of your powerful poem ? ... Let me think about it ... Nah, I won't ...  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


8 posted 01-26-2000 07:01 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Your poetry is very powerful
You've catured a relationship in a few short lines
Liz
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


9 posted 01-26-2000 09:23 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

JTF: If I've resisted, you can too! LOL.
JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


10 posted 01-26-2000 09:27 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

Auntie, don't try to fool me ... you didn't see it !! ...  
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


11 posted 01-26-2000 09:32 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Froggie... surely you jest! LOL. I notice everyone's typos but my own! *G*
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


12 posted 01-26-2000 09:49 AM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

again, *stomping the floor and kicking the wall*...these dang cookies are maddening....

[This message has been edited by Iloveit (edited 01-26-2000).]
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


13 posted 01-26-2000 09:52 AM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

thanks all glad you liked

...and what typo????...*very innocent look* I didn't see one lol...thanks for the smiles and for not mentioning it....both of you *g*
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 12-15-1999
Posts 335


14 posted 01-26-2000 10:08 AM       View Profile for Ted Reynolds   Email Ted Reynolds   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ted Reynolds

Good grasp of psychology -- and you're sympathetic and critical of both persons at the same time; I like that.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


15 posted 01-26-2000 07:37 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

fc, this is such a reality and so clear in showing these lives and feelings.  Well done!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


16 posted 01-26-2000 09:33 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Such beauty in such sadness...hugs...



 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


17 posted 01-26-2000 10:03 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

fc, there is often a certain bond and  brutality in the truth of a thing, and you've twined both into this brief and striking vignette. Well done.

Dear LadyClaire


One Who Understands
Member
since 01-20-2000
Posts 252
Cedar Rapids, Iowa


18 posted 01-27-2000 01:07 AM       View Profile for One Who Understands   Email One Who Understands   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for One Who Understands

Wow, how powerful. I may be going out on a limb here, but are you angry at someone?
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #5 >> adjacently apart Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors