she slumped in the comfy rocking chair
with the remote in one hand
and a bag of chips
in the other
and restlessly flipped through
fifty channels, times three,
her fingers still searching
for a reason to want to…
a fruitless day, now ended in stillness
but her mind rested not.
she had gone for a walk
and looked to the blue, the brown
and to the green,
but turning back to the safety
of four walls, she knew her want to
was nowhere out there.
but still she needed a reason
tomorrows seem to come much too soon,
so she opened the cookie cabinet
but quickly shut the door,
no amount of sweetness
would loose this dull ache.
she turned her room
upside down, her purse too,
what is it they say?
try to remember when you had it last…
it had to be here somewhere
but try as she might
she couldn't remember when she last wanted to.
she passed her reflection in the mirror
and saw the messy hair
she must have forgotten
the smeared reddened eyes that surely belonged
to some other wretched soul
and puzzled the image
but something slipped as she fought to regain control...
what was it she had been looking for?
a shudder rifled her entire length
and she felt just one little bit more
less than herself
she tightened her grip on the remote and tried to
put the questions out of her mind
she started through the channels
now fifty, times four and
popped a chip in her mouth
no one could eat just one