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Open Poetry #5
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suthern
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0 posted 2000-01-24 07:04 AM


The sun creeps slowly through the sky
And warms the empty earth
But tires of this and so creates
The miracle of birth.

An ape-like creature moves along
Over the rocky land
Through ages this thing will become
The forerunner of man.

A man stands tall, his back not bent
Thoughts struggle in his mind
Trying to better understand
How emerged his own kind.

He seeks the answer in the stars
He seeks it under sea
But shuns the thought that a small ape
His ancestor might be.

The sun grows weary of this play
This arrogance of man
And grows much hotter day by day
Parching all of the land.

Man begs for mercy but the sun
Shines brighter on and on
Man’s last shrill screams reverberate
Then all of man is gone.

The sun creeps slowly through the sky
And warms the empty earth
Regretting now the failure of
The miracle of birth.


© Copyright 2000 suthern - All Rights Reserved
First__Knight
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since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

1 posted 2000-01-24 07:08 AM


Wow what a concept.....But the death of another always bring the birth of the next.  Circle of life concept    Good writing and expression of thought

 
I don't buy temporary insanity as they murder defense. Because
people kill people. That's and animal instinct. I think breaking
into someone's home and ironing all their clothes is temporary
insanity.



whiskey
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2 posted 2000-01-24 08:07 AM


This is a wonderful piece Suthern I agree what a wonderful concept  
Meadowmuse
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since 1999-12-27
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3 posted 2000-01-24 08:33 AM


Chilling. Excellent.

Claire

RainbowGirl
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4 posted 2000-01-24 09:23 AM


Wow!...Excellent writing Suthern..

HUSG

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.


fc
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since 2000-01-18
Posts 130

5 posted 2000-01-24 09:31 AM


you been doing some deep thinking girl?...really well written  
suthern
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6 posted 2000-01-24 09:36 AM


Thank you very much First_Knight, whiskey, Meadowmuse, RG, and fc. *S* No deep thinking lately, fc... this one is almost as old as I am! LOL
RainbowGirl
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7 posted 2000-01-24 09:43 AM


You mean you were born thinking up verses like that....oh my...*g*

Sorry, couldn't resist...

HUSG

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.


LngJhnAg
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since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
8 posted 2000-01-24 02:03 PM


Yep - just what I thought - this poem was originally written on clay tablets for Gilgamesh.  Neat theme, lil Belle.
suthern
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9 posted 2000-01-24 02:15 PM


Ahem, sailor!!! I'm not THAT old... unless memory has completely failed me! LOL
JTF
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since 1999-08-09
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France
10 posted 2000-01-26 09:35 AM


Sorry Auntie but I can't resist ...  

SMOOCHES

ps : outstanding poem !!

suthern
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11 posted 2000-01-26 01:05 PM


Gee, Froggie... where were you when I needed a picture like that for my presentation? *G* And don't EVEN tell me you weren't born yet! LOL. Thanks!!!
SEA
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12 posted 2000-01-26 01:13 PM


While I don't personally believe in evolution, I enjoyed your poem. Very clever and well written. -SEA
suthern
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13 posted 2000-01-26 01:40 PM


SEA: Thanks... As I mentioned before, this one is very old... I picked the light, fluffy, flighty, mindless (HA!) topic "The creation and destination of man" for a project in high school... and... ever thorough... I explored all options. *G* Just be very grateful you can't hear the song I wrote... my poor classmates had to endure me singing it! LOL
SEA
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14 posted 2000-01-26 02:20 PM


suthern..I'm right there with you on the singing......at birthdays I mouth the words! Ha HA   -SEA
Toerag
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Ala bam a
15 posted 2000-01-26 02:39 PM


I haven't responded immediately to this poem for several reasons....First of all, as usual, the lady has unlimited talent, secondly, I don't want to seem biased as she is my best friend, and I don't feel as though I should comment immediately as I am probably biased,  but I believe in evolution and creation....science does prove evolution to an extent, and the Bible also (to me anyway), is pretty much concrete. Many scientists believe as I do...That truly we evolved from something....and that when "man" began to be able to "think" rationally that God indeed was for sure involved. If ya think about the miracle of life, the way things evolved....it took something much more than nature to make it come to what we are now. Of course, then again...I'm a damn Toerag yanno, and most of you know how my mind works, (or doesn't work) just quite right.  I truly believe in God, and too many things have been proven from the Bible for me not to believe...I don't believe everything mind you, I believe many things were written in the Bible to make a point..not to be taken literally....and no matter what anyone believes...ya gotta admit, the Ten Commandments are hard to disagree with, as are many other things that have been written. I've seen this poem from Suthern prior to it's posting here....and it's simply fantastic....Then there's that "missing link" thinggie..That's probably Balladeer and LongJohn.....but who am I to decide?..LOL
suthern
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16 posted 2000-01-26 02:46 PM


Toerag: Thanks, sweetie... Biased or not, your opinion means much to me! *S* (In fact, I'd say you're solely responsible for this being posted. LOL) And I like the way you think... especially when you're thinking "best friend" this way! *G* I'm most grateful. *S*

And ROFL @ missing link identification... *G*

Pepper
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since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
17 posted 2000-01-26 03:55 PM


Excellent writing for sure! Awesome Suthern....I really enjoyed this read!!

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon



Balladeer
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18 posted 2000-01-26 11:25 PM


Excellent poem, Suthern girl. Of course, anyone who has seen Toerag would have to know that we must have evolved from apes....and some haven't quite evolved yet!


(it was very clever to create your title from Toe's luck with women)

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 01-26-2000).]

suthern
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19 posted 2000-01-27 07:01 AM


Thank you very much, Pepper!!! You've been greatly missed! *S*

And Bal... he's always got me (singing "you are my sunshine!") LOL

hoot_owl_rn
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since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
20 posted 2000-01-27 10:37 AM


WOW!!! need I say more?

 I can live with the idea
That we are merely actors
Playing a part
But I do wish
Whoever is writing my script
Would learn to use
A few more Happy Endings
~Javan

Local Rebel
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21 posted 2000-01-27 01:53 PM


An excellent work here.  I really enjoyed this one.  Thanks suthern  

Toe -- the bible doesn't have to be literally true to contain truth -- i think that's what you're saying -- i agree my friend.  

Sometimes there can be 'the truth' or 'a truth', but in the end there is 'truth'.

Since you guys are going deep you may find my "Invocation" in CA to be of interest...

suthern
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22 posted 2000-01-27 01:58 PM


I'll take a wow any day, Hoot... especially from you! Thanks! *G* And you too, LR... many thanks!
LngJhnAg
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Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
23 posted 2000-01-27 03:36 PM


I too believe in creation - for example, I believe that Toerag was created from discarded film canisters and spare camera parts.
Mike
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since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

24 posted 2000-01-27 06:17 PM


Very nicely done....
although.. shouldn't say this.. somewhat embarrassing...  but when I saw the title... was thinking of something else...
enjoyed the poem...

Toerag
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Ala bam a
25 posted 2000-01-27 06:23 PM


LongJohn/Balladeer.....you guys are something else! (Just exactly what, I can't post here), but to give ya an idea, (between lmao at your comments here.....I heard that when you were both born, your mother's had twins....a baby and a turd......we all know the baby didn't survive!
suthern
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26 posted 2000-01-27 07:29 PM


Mike: Thanks... but now you've got me curious. LOL

ROFL @ LJA and Toe... especially at the surviving twins... now THAT's evolution! LOL

HelmutB
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since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
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27 posted 2000-01-27 07:32 PM


Certainly there is a pattern here
A very nice piece of work you did there
The ending seems so sad
Well done suthern


 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


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