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Passions in Poetry

Thus I linger...

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Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


0 posted 01-23-2000 01:20 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Nature, with her frozen glance,
Proves to us that shes immortal.
Time chokes minutes with its hands
Slowly squeezing the aorta.

Naked trees in passion sway,
Sweeping stars, while none will fall.
Icy puddles mark my way--
Dark like windows of ones soul.

Freezing doves sit on a cable
Staring at the pale sky.
Wind-- the hand that rocks the cradle,
Softly sings a lullaby.

Thus I linger, sad and dreary,
Breathing in the silent night.
Shaking lips still prove my theory,
Its so cold-- dreams freeze in flight.


[This message has been edited by Master (edited 01-23-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
First__Knight
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


1 posted 01-23-2000 01:40 AM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

Sound like your heart is hurting....I think I would call it "Crying of the Heart"

 Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe

Poet deVine
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2 posted 01-23-2000 10:19 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

How about "Frozen Dreams"?  Good poem btw.
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
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3 posted 01-23-2000 10:45 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Master-
Firstly, it is a haunting lovely refrain.
I would suggest your own words of
'Thus, I Linger' as the title.  
That would draw me in for sure.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


4 posted 01-23-2000 11:01 AM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

THank you everyone, and I think I'll use "Thus, I linger..." as the title.
Anne
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since 12-31-1999
Posts 78


5 posted 01-23-2000 01:24 PM       View Profile for Anne   Email Anne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Anne

Oooh!  I love that last phrase!!
I agree, "Thus, I Linger" works, I think it reemphasizes the image that the whole world is standing still for a moment, waiting for...?  I like it!
Bad Boy
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since 01-23-2000
Posts 83


6 posted 01-23-2000 01:29 PM       View Profile for Bad Boy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bad Boy

Poet has taken the word`s right outta my mouth.Frozen Dream`s is what come`s to mind when I read this.



 The Devil Made Me Do It.

Denise
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since 08-22-99
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7 posted 01-23-2000 02:10 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Hauntingly sad, Master. Excellent piece of writing! I love it!

Denise
Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


8 posted 01-23-2000 04:55 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

Thank you all, I'm thinking of re-editing this one a bit.
Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


9 posted 01-23-2000 05:10 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

IS it better this way?
Denise
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10 posted 01-23-2000 05:12 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

It is perfection! Well done, Master! Another 'Master-piece'!

Denise
Master
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since 08-18-99
Posts 1880
Boston, MA


11 posted 01-23-2000 06:10 PM       View Profile for Master   Email Master   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Master's Home Page   View IP for Master

IT's far from perfection, but thank you anyway!
 
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