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Passions in Poetry

not quite as bleak...

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Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


0 posted 01-21-2000 04:57 AM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

Time Pieces

Message in a bottle
gently rides upon the waves.
Hand reaching, oh rescues
from the sea, message saved.

Weathered, wrinkled, creased
on brown bag, by unsteady hand.
Message searching for rescue
speaking of barren, foreign land.

Tale of storm and ruin
lives spared, yet ever lost.
Heart-wrenching plea for help
message into tempest tossed.

Hope burned, beaten, quenched
lost on deserted, desert isle.
Desperate plea for salvation
riding time for countless miles.

Message spent within ones bottle
ageless tragedy blooms near complete.
Antique, glass plea twice tossed
for rescue;  whose hand doth reach?

  DJBurt  
(all rights reserved)



  there is only one...
Romans 10:9-10
© Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


1 posted 01-21-2000 05:14 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Now I'm thinking of Gilligans Island!! Great description, enjoyed the read!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
catslair
Junior Member
since 01-16-2000
Posts 48


2 posted 01-21-2000 06:14 AM       View Profile for catslair   Email catslair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for catslair

ha ha yes gilligan's island but with much more depth and feeling.....well done!!!!!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 01-21-2000 06:56 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

This reminds me of one I did  


Message In A Bottle

A message in a bottle
Upon the open sea
Set to sail some years ago
Found its way to me

Upon the open sea
Where winds and currents play
Its course so unpredictable
It came to rest one day

Where winds and currents play
‘Midst waves, storms and debris
Left to the deep blue oceans whims
It found its way to me

‘Midst waves, storms and debris
It washed upon the shore
The message in a bottle
Sent several years before

It washed upon the shore
The letter safe and dry
And when I started reading it
I couldn’t help but cry

The letter safe and dry
It told a haunting tale
“My dearest Ruth...” it began
My breath caught, my face went pale

It told a haunting tale
In writing I knew well
He promised he’d come back real soon
The day that he set sail

In writing I knew well
I read his final note
He’d run into a storm at sea
Where the waves they’d sunk his boat

I read his final note
A letter meant for me
“I know I promised I’d be back
But it seems I’ll die at sea”

A letter meant for me
“Please forgive me,” the words said
“I won’t be coming back to you
By tomorrow I’ll be dead”

“Please forgive me,” the words said
“You know I loved you so
But I’ve drifted here for days on end
And now it’s time to go”

“You know I loved you so
My dear I always will
When I shed this mortal shell
I will love you still”

“My dear I always will
Remember our true love
I’m looking forward to the day
When we both meet above”

“Remember our true love”
How those words they spoke to me
As I shoved the note into the bottle
And threw it out to sea

How those words they spoke to me
There standing on that shore
I’d thought he found another love
Those many years before

There standing on the shore
As I began to cry
I watched the bottle drift away
And finally said goodbye


 At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


4 posted 01-21-2000 10:13 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Wow!!! This is ssooooo good! I really love that last stanza. Very well done!! Bravo!! (and all that other jolly good stuff hehehe)

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 01-21-2000 10:15 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful poems, Bleeding and Ruth!  

Denise
Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


6 posted 01-22-2000 11:10 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

wow Hoot...
must have been on the same train, eh?
thanks for the share.
thanks to all for the input
seems so strange after all these solitary years hunched over my Whisper; to finaly
"come out" and actually have other poets
like this stuff...
and here i thought poets were mostly
cannibalistic...
       b


  there is only one...
Romans 10:9-10
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 01-22-2000 11:19 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

bleeding-

This is such a lovely written piece.
My minds-eye could see the bottle
bobbling about ... wending it's way
to some uncharted shore.

Now that, my friend,
is imagery at it's finest.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

simplyYRREHS
Member
since 01-03-2000
Posts 163


8 posted 01-22-2000 11:27 PM       View Profile for simplyYRREHS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for simplyYRREHS

Anyone know Nicholas Sparks?  Couldn't help but think of his novel.  Great poems, BOTH of them.  The visuals were incredible.

Sherry

 "Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau


 
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