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humpty dumpty sat on a wall
| Open Poetry #5 |
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humpty dumpty sat on a wall |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
she used to think that he needed her smiles as much as she needed his, but she doesn't anymore. she used to tremble with delight at the sight of his name, but she won't anymore. she used to trust all of her to all of him she used to trust him to never reach out and hurt, she doesn't anymore. she used to think he was the perfect man, she used to give her total desire, futureless or not, but she won't anymore. she used to think that she was his anchor too. she used to think that she balanced his walk through the hard times she used to worry for him, should she go, but she doesn't anymore. she used to worry that without him all the kings horses and all the kings men wouldn't be enough to make her whole again she still does… [This message has been edited by fc (edited 01-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 fc - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Yes!!! Anger is good fc!! And very well delivered! A step on the journey -- a critical one. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow, I like your writing style. Anothe excellent piece. I'm certainly quickly becoming a fan  At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree! Excellent writing! I enjoyed this! Denise |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I agree with LR that anger is good... too bad you can't step on the slimebucket that broke your heart! *S* Well done! |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Very well done indeed. I approve. May I say that I hung up a bit on two phrases, "she used to give her total desire futureless or not, and "she used to worry for him should she go"? Smooth those out and, for me, nothing need be added. A good (but sad) piece. |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
thanks again all, and yep anger is good, it takes two, suthern, for any hurt, it takes two... stepping on someone is not me, would step away and not be back before I would want to hurt back....sigh...don't know which one is better....or worse [This message has been edited by fc (edited 01-20-2000).] |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
fc....anger is good and it is worth it to let it out. I hope that doesn't sour you on the prospect of finding a love that will be worthy of you though. That was the route I went for the longest time before I realized I was becoming a bitter old woman because of one person who couldn't care. Very well written piece. I hope to see more of your work here. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Nods and agrees with suthern... yep... slimebucket. |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
FC, another superb one ... I pray that one day, soon, I'll see your talent fueled by joy and happiness and not by sadness and anger ... you sure deserve it ... HUSG |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
no wildchild, the one dream I do still have is to find a man who will passionately love *me* the insides and the out...sigh, might die trying but it is *my* dream why agreement?? JTF, me too, the joy and happiness thing....but thanks for the talent comment....lol... and for saying I deserve it, sometimes that's the hardest thing to see |
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