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Passions in Poetry

humpty dumpty sat on a wall

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fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


0 posted 01-20-2000 10:26 AM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fc

she used to think
that he
needed her smiles
as much as she needed
his,
but she doesn't anymore.
she used to tremble
with delight
at the sight of
his name,
but she won't anymore.
she used to trust
all of her
to all of him
she used to trust
him to never reach out
and hurt,
she doesn't anymore.
she used to think
he was the
perfect man,
she used to give
her total desire,
futureless
or not,
but she won't anymore.
she used to think
that she
was his anchor
too.
she used to think
that she
balanced
his walk through
the hard times
she used to worry for him,
should she go,
but she doesn't anymore.
she used to worry
that without him
all the kings horses
and all the kings men
wouldn't be enough
to make her whole again
she still does…



[This message has been edited by fc (edited 01-20-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 fc - All Rights Reserved
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


1 posted 01-20-2000 10:31 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Yes!!!

Anger is good fc!!  And very well delivered!  A step on the journey -- a critical one.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 01-20-2000 10:35 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wow, I like your writing style. Anothe excellent piece. I'm certainly quickly becoming a fan  

 At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 01-20-2000 10:40 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I agree! Excellent writing! I enjoyed this!

Denise
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 01-20-2000 10:53 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I agree with LR that anger is good... too bad you can't step on the slimebucket that broke your heart! *S* Well done!
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 12-15-1999
Posts 335


5 posted 01-20-2000 10:55 AM       View Profile for Ted Reynolds   Email Ted Reynolds   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ted Reynolds

Very well done indeed.  I approve.  May I say that I hung up a bit on two phrases, "she used to give her total desire futureless or not, and "she used to worry for him should she go"?  Smooth those out and, for me, nothing need be added.  A good (but sad) piece.  
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


6 posted 01-20-2000 10:59 AM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

thanks again all,
and yep anger is good, it takes two, suthern, for any hurt, it takes two... stepping on someone is not me, would step away and not be back before I would want to hurt back....sigh...don't know which one is better....or worse

[This message has been edited by fc (edited 01-20-2000).]
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


7 posted 01-20-2000 11:03 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

fc....anger is good and it is worth it to let it out. I hope that doesn't sour you on the prospect of finding a love that will be worthy of you though. That was the route I went for the longest time before I realized I was becoming a bitter old woman because of one person who couldn't care. Very well written piece. I hope to see more of your work here.  

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho


Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


8 posted 01-20-2000 11:21 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Nods and agrees with suthern... yep... slimebucket.
JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


9 posted 01-20-2000 11:44 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

FC, another superb one ... I pray that one day, soon, I'll see your talent fueled by joy and happiness and not by sadness and anger ... you sure deserve it ... HUSG
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


10 posted 01-20-2000 03:06 PM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

no wildchild, the one dream I do still have is to find a man who will passionately love *me* the insides and the out...sigh, might die trying but it is *my* dream

why agreement??

JTF, me too, the joy and happiness thing....but thanks for the talent comment....lol... and for saying I deserve it, sometimes that's the hardest thing to see
fc will be notified of replies
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