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Open Poetry #5
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2000-01-20 09:19 AM


Thrust
Into thine heart thus
of that mighty Hearth
Rendered as a plowshare
my sword
my soul
Amen

< !signature-->

 How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius

[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 01-20-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
1 posted 2000-01-20 10:20 AM


Beautiful...This is a very powerful work LR
Different from your usual and well layered.
Simply Beautiful

Would you like it to be more?


"Thrust
into thine heart thus,
that mighty hearth,
rendered a plowshare
as my sword;

My soul,
Amen"

Now its perfect...*S*

~haze

 "I shall leave nothing before matchsticks."


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 2000-01-20 10:24 AM


Very nice indeed  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
3 posted 2000-01-20 10:50 AM


Thank you for the slice haze -- I shall ponder it scratching my chin whiskers!  

Thank you wise Hoot!

(and he shamelessly bumps it to top dialoging with his critics!  and points out that being on the bottom is just as good)

fc
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130

4 posted 2000-01-20 10:54 AM


very deep, very good,  very you  
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon
5 posted 2000-01-20 10:57 AM


Very elegantly stated. A departure from your norm but beautiful nonetheless.

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho



Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
6 posted 2000-01-20 03:35 PM


The fastest way to a man's heart is through his sternum....hm wait, nevermind hehe.  Great poem LR!

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2000-01-20 03:50 PM


Well - This one makes me think - and read several times.... My rule of thumb is that if you write something that demands I read it more than once, you've succeeded.....

I rather like your centered format....

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
8 posted 2000-01-20 06:18 PM


Thank you Nan, Wild, Echo...

I apreciate you reading and commenting.  I've always considered it a challenge to paint a broad concept with a very small brush stroke...  

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
9 posted 2000-01-20 06:23 PM


Romance at it's fullest LR, I do believe you've beat me with this one

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

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