We will now perform this marvellous new operation,
Replacing your tympani with little audio receivers,
So that wherever on earth you happen to be,
Your husband or mother can dial into your right ear
Without any hesitation or loss of time,
While as for your left ear, it's fully equipped
To listen to any of your favorite programs
Sent from absolutely anywhere in the world,
Or just to the weather channel. Awesome!
Better yet, we will soon have the ability
To replace your corneas with teeny-tiny
T.V. sets, so never again will you miss
Anything that's on, anywhere.
Except, of course,
What's happening immediately around you,
And that's seldom of much interest anyway,