navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #5 » My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider
Open Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Wendy Flora
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182
Virginia

0 posted 2000-01-19 05:17 PM


There I was,
Bobbing at the bottom of the bowl
Some idle Tuesday
(maybe Sunday … hell, what do I know?)
I'd already done my rounds,
Checked out the diver -
Yep, still drowned .
Checked out my treasure chest -
Still there.
The weird girl had dropped the food
And bolted…
Same ole, same ole.
I started contemplating
Taking a nap…
Then I saw it!
This thing, this beautiful thing!
Peeked its head out from behind
The Black Box.
It was a beautiful black beauty
A glistening ruby on its belly.
I hung frozen behind the castle,
Eyeing the creature as it extended each spindly stalk,
Heading across the Flat Browness.
It moved so gracefully, gliding more than anything else.
O, that I moved with such dignity!
I dart to and fro, not like this lovely thing.
I moved right up to the Clear Hardness to peer at it.
It reached the Tall Whiteness
Extending one fin-stalk out to touch it
The, wonder of wonders!
It began moving up!
Higher and higher it went, and I
Floated up to the water's surface to watch.
When it reached the Highest Tall Point,
It began to do something…
I don't know how to describe!
A silvery strand began to descend from the thing
It looked like a drop of water
But it wasn't.
The drop of water started
Looking like a shape
It was round like my bowl,
But with lots of lines.
It was beautiful! All shimmery and new.
What I wouldn't give to be that creature!
To be able to make… to create…
Instead of just able
To swim.


© Copyright 2000 Wendy Flora - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2000-01-19 05:29 PM


Now this is wonderful, creative writing! Great thoughts and innovative creation. Congrats from another one of the fish!  
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

2 posted 2000-01-19 06:24 PM


This I like.  Muchly.
Wendy Flora
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182
Virginia
3 posted 2000-01-19 07:07 PM


Thank you.    I'm sure Cupid (my fish) thanks you too! -wen
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
4 posted 2000-01-19 07:14 PM


Very cool perspective.  Very unique... I'm curious to know what brought you to write this?  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2000-01-19 07:16 PM


Wendy,
Creative, true, good paint, yes, well done,
and I did enjoy the read. I'll have another.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
6 posted 2000-01-19 08:17 PM


Stunning  

HUGS

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.


Wendy Flora
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182
Virginia
7 posted 2000-01-20 08:42 AM


What brought me to write this?  A few things... My fish (Cupid), a really boring Linguistics class, and a painting in an art magazine entitled "Jerome Spends His Free Time Daydreaming of Being Reincarnated as a Snake."  I loved the title of that painting, I was bored in class, and I was thinking about my fish... voila.     (not as glamourous as a flash of lightning or anything, but it was still fun to write) -wen
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2000-01-20 10:20 AM


Wonderful free verse...extreamly creative  
haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
9 posted 2000-01-20 10:25 AM


What a unique perspective, fabulous free-verse...Its flowing and dreamy without being sappy...GRAND KUDOS!!!


(If this was CA I would suggest a honing of some unnecessary language; Its not and I will only if asked.)


Strong Applause Wen...
~haze

Wendy Flora
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 182
Virginia
10 posted 2000-01-20 11:08 AM


Oh, please do!  I don't care if its CA or not, I love help anytime.    -wen
FreeByrd
Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267

11 posted 2000-01-20 11:56 AM


Slick perspective.

Cupid also aspires too something greater than he/she is.

I'm liken it.  

 There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief

There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief

- Hendrix



Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
12 posted 2000-01-20 03:03 PM


Linguistics class... took that in college and really enjoyed it... but then I like and such and it reminded me of code breaking. Anyway... your catalyst mixture seems to be far more safe than say that bolt of lightning.  Cool stuff... thanks again for sharing.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2000-01-20 03:40 PM


Hehe.... This reminds me of times when I'd look out of my picture window... and feel like I was the fish in the tank - and all those people outside were peering in at me... ..Nice one...
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #5 » My Beta Spends His Free Time Doing Laps and Dreaming of Becoming a Spider

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary