*Hindsight, as I've now come to know on a very personal basis, is poison. With this running through my veins, for almost a year now, closure is finally omnipresent, even here in my writings. I dedicate THIS to the person who initiated my journey into singlehood.
TO THE PARAMOUR
Confussion landed upon me that day-
I remember the perfect irony of the sweet scent of spring tickling it's way into my thoughts.
Green was the air, thanks to mother nature's annual routine.
The fields were alive with such refreshness and hope.
Enter the voice.
Shattering the still of season's change.
Her voice oblitterated any solace within safe range.
Completely, wrecklessly, immediately the world emptied of gravity's force.
My self waited patiently in a lofty state, deciding what to adhere to.
I spent what seems a lifetime wondering how to become you.
How do I inflict such horrors into another person's soul?
How do I become so self-indulgent and deny my conscience room to feel shame?
I've wasted too many thoughts on "how's" and "why's" and finally realize that I should have approached you with these questions in the very beginning.
I cannot speak for you, or assume, the reasoning behind your destruction.
It is time I release this poison from within.
I don't care to know you and I don't dare claim to understand.
It pleasures me to no end, knowing I could never be you.
Never before have I placed myself upon a pedestal, but I do now with newfound pride.
Thanks to you, I hold a very honorable chair.
No higher than the one you sit in, but in a different arena-
a different class-
a different world.
It satisfies me to let go of the pain you handed to me last spring and to know I have lost no battle, because there never was a fight.
For my soldiers are called "morals and ethics"
and yours are nameless
Therefore, there never was a confrontation to be settled.
YOU were never present
and there never was a prize.
"Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau
[This message has been edited by simplyYRREHS (edited 01-19-2000).]