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Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA

0 posted 2000-01-18 06:07 PM


Hot...dry...thirsty.
Must find water!
Very thirsty.
The sun...the gates of hell...open.
Ah!  A tree, a cactus, a...a...doesn't matter.
A little shade...a little rest...just a little rest.
Must get up.  
Must keep going.  
Must find the ship.

Over the next hill.
Has to be...over the next hill.
He said it would be in this direction
perhaps a little further.
Ouch!  You fool!
Why don't you watch you're doing?
Whats that?
The ship?
It must be!

Go down this hill, cross that dry lake and...buildings?
Towers?
What kind of place is this?
A road?
At las, people.
Oh, it cracked.
Covered with weeds.
Weeds through the cracks
Nobody here anymore.
Nobody, for a long time.

Still, it must be the ship.
A white needle set to leap to the stars on a whisper.
Had forgotten what it...it's moving?
NO! NO! Wait for me!
NO...it's just the heat...the damn heat!
A few miles....only a few more miles.


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~



© Copyright 2000 Echo Rhayne - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-01-18 06:11 PM


Smiling at this one, Echo!   Love the self~talk, hope, disappointment, renewed determination...really intriguing piece!

Claire

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-01-18 06:22 PM


I like this one too, love the self talk as well. well done!

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
3 posted 2000-01-18 10:31 PM


Glad you liked it, I don't usually write prose, but well, I did  


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-01-18 10:36 PM


Echo-

I LOVE IT !

Now, seems we should see more of it.
~*Marge*~

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2000-01-18 10:41 PM


Oh, I like this one, Echo. It is an excellent representaion of inner frustration and despair. Whew! A lot can be read into this one.
Paul Hoekman
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>
6 posted 2000-01-18 10:43 PM


I am so thirsty, I just need to go
get some water I hope I can make it.


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-01-18 10:45 PM


I enjoyed this Echo...I can remember feeling like this a few times!!  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-01-18 10:52 PM


This is a different one from you! I like it...we do just that to keep ourselves going sometimes don't we?  Way to go sweetie!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark



Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
9 posted 2000-01-19 12:04 PM


Marge, you mean you actually want to see more?  *reaching for your forehead* are you sick or soemthing??  LoL

Balladeer, Thank you most kindly.  There is a lot in this one, more than it represents, but I wont go into that LoL

Paul, I hope you made it and got some water =)

Denise, phew, glad it's not just me =)

Rebecca, it is different from my usual style isn't it?  Like I said before, I am not much of a prose writer, but sometimes, that just how it comes out =)


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~



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