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Passions in Poetry

A Few More Miles

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Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


0 posted 01-18-2000 06:07 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Hot...dry...thirsty.
Must find water!
Very thirsty.
The sun...the gates of hell...open.
Ah!  A tree, a cactus, a...a...doesn't matter.
A little shade...a little rest...just a little rest.
Must get up.  
Must keep going.  
Must find the ship.

Over the next hill.
Has to be...over the next hill.
He said it would be in this direction
perhaps a little further.
Ouch!  You fool!
Why don't you watch you're doing?
Whats that?
The ship?
It must be!

Go down this hill, cross that dry lake and...buildings?
Towers?
What kind of place is this?
A road?
At las, people.
Oh, it cracked.
Covered with weeds.
Weeds through the cracks
Nobody here anymore.
Nobody, for a long time.

Still, it must be the ship.
A white needle set to leap to the stars on a whisper.
Had forgotten what it...it's moving?
NO! NO! Wait for me!
NO...it's just the heat...the damn heat!
A few miles....only a few more miles.


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


© Copyright 2000 Echo Rhayne - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


1 posted 01-18-2000 06:11 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Smiling at this one, Echo!   Love the self~talk, hope, disappointment, renewed determination...really intriguing piece!

Claire
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


2 posted 01-18-2000 06:22 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I like this one too, love the self talk as well. well done!

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


3 posted 01-18-2000 10:31 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Glad you liked it, I don't usually write prose, but well, I did  


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


4 posted 01-18-2000 10:36 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Echo-

I LOVE IT !

Now, seems we should see more of it.
~*Marge*~

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 01-18-2000 10:41 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Oh, I like this one, Echo. It is an excellent representaion of inner frustration and despair. Whew! A lot can be read into this one.
Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


6 posted 01-18-2000 10:43 PM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

I am so thirsty, I just need to go
get some water I hope I can make it.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 01-18-2000 10:45 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I enjoyed this Echo...I can remember feeling like this a few times!!  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


8 posted 01-18-2000 10:52 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

This is a different one from you! I like it...we do just that to keep ourselves going sometimes don't we?  Way to go sweetie!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


9 posted 01-19-2000 12:04 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Marge, you mean you actually want to see more?  *reaching for your forehead* are you sick or soemthing??  LoL

Balladeer, Thank you most kindly.  There is a lot in this one, more than it represents, but I wont go into that LoL

Paul, I hope you made it and got some water =)

Denise, phew, glad it's not just me =)

Rebecca, it is different from my usual style isn't it?  Like I said before, I am not much of a prose writer, but sometimes, that just how it comes out =)


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


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