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Passions in Poetry

she simply fell apart

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fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
[First Post] 131


0 posted 01-18-2000 12:29 PM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for fc

she fell over her arm
tripped on it, actually
and marveled,
to see her foot stay behind as well
she struggled to right herself
but the proceeding unbalanced stumble
only served to jar another limb
and next
I think was her other arm
because she couldn't seem to catch
the falling pieces
nor herself as she repeatedly hit rock bottom
she never saw them go, but her ears
must have been next
cause she couldn't hear the offers for help
and she couldn't bear to even hear herself think.
and last,
as she sat with no arms and no legs
(and no ears)
and cried, because she still had her eyes,
must have been her heart
the swelling in her chest
just didn't leave room for it
any more

© Copyright 2000 fc - All Rights Reserved
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


1 posted 01-18-2000 12:44 PM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

This is interesting....now I have to sit back and really think about this one!!

Take Care
Bridgette
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


2 posted 01-18-2000 12:50 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Bravo...fc... whoever you are!

Bravo!!!!  

This is genius...
simplyYRREHS
Member
since 01-03-2000
Posts 163


3 posted 01-18-2000 01:06 PM       View Profile for simplyYRREHS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for simplyYRREHS

fc~
Interesting.  I never really cared for Mrs. Potato Head much (   ), but the writing has intrigued me, none-the-less.  Arms, Legs, (ears?)...I think I can adequately apply some meaning to the ears and heart thing.  But I'm still chewing on the initial trip over the arm.  As if my head didn't have enough to dwell on, now you will have me thinking "pieces" 'til I solve the thought.

BTW, Welcome to Passions!

  Sherry

 "Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau




[This message has been edited by simplyYRREHS (edited 01-18-2000).]
suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 01-18-2000 01:45 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

We often don't hear the offers for help when we start stumbling... Good poem! Welcome!
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


5 posted 01-18-2000 01:51 PM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

thanks all, your comments mean much to me  
Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 01-18-2000 02:16 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very interesting poem, FC! Welcome to Passions! I enjoyed this very much!!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


7 posted 01-18-2000 03:16 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

That's a very unique style...

HUSG

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


8 posted 01-18-2000 05:47 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Love it, and welcome!


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


9 posted 01-18-2000 06:04 PM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

again thanks...and rainbow...hugs back  
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


10 posted 01-18-2000 06:58 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Very good poem! Welcome to the family.. fasten your seat belt, you're in for some wild times!  
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


11 posted 01-18-2000 08:45 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

All i can add is that I hope never to fall apart.
But yes it was so that I read it twice
Perhaps i fell apart, well done
Welcome

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


12 posted 01-18-2000 08:49 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Welcome to passions, your entrance has been an intriging one!!! Good start!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


13 posted 01-18-2000 08:56 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Absolutely ingenious...welcome to passions  
Paul Hoekman
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since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


14 posted 01-18-2000 10:26 PM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

This reminded me of my
older daughter 7
there's been times
I've watched her
fall apart from one
side of the room
to the other.
UNIQUE!

Right up our ally.
WELCOME
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


15 posted 01-18-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

fc-

Now this constitutes an ~ENTRANCE~

What an intriguing piece.
~*Marge*~

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Astraea
Member
since 11-09-1999
Posts 397
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm


16 posted 01-18-2000 10:54 PM       View Profile for Astraea   Email Astraea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astraea

Wow.  A thought provoking one to say the least.  Lovely.  Welcome!

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


17 posted 01-18-2000 11:49 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

WELCOME! I like this too! Very unique in your description!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


18 posted 01-19-2000 02:22 AM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

This is wonderful! It reminds me of myself during the hysterical, hormonal age of fourteen; and of my daughter in the same problem time at thirteen and fourteen ... man alive, how did we live through that!

No one could possibly describe it better than you have!  I have tried for decades!




 ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG


JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


19 posted 01-19-2000 04:01 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

This is a very powerful poem fc ... it'll take time but you'll put the pieces back in place and you'll feel better ... and yes it helps to write ... SMOOCHES
fc
Member
since 01-18-2000
Posts 131


20 posted 01-19-2000 09:31 AM       View Profile for fc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for fc

thanks again all, your comments do help lots, I appreciate the welcome.......
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


21 posted 01-19-2000 09:35 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is very deep I need time to think it through , excellent work, welcome to passions look forward to reading more of your work
 
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