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Passions in Poetry

The Full Length Reflection of Himself

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Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


0 posted 01-17-2000 03:33 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie


The Full length Reflection of Himself

It had been the ice cream
We canít have cake without ice cream
vanilla ice cream
    
You go he said
it was his birthday
after all
he would sit on the porch
and wait into the afternoon

Another reason lurked
he was drinking
and what he wanted
was to sit on the porch
with another beer
not ice cream
and drink into the afternoon

His son of blond thatched hair
had exchanged a blue eyed look
with his wife
a look of disappointment
resignation and something else
disgust, he thought

They never came back
a drunk driverís final irony

After the blissful numbness
a wave so powerful
so full of grinding pain hit him
that he wished that he was dead
it fell on him
ripped through
his fabric of pretension
found his soul
and squeezed it hard

He screamed
tore a chunk of hair
from his head
then took a hammer
searching for his tormentor
and found him in the bedroom
in front of the bathroom door

Took the hammer
to the full length reflection of himself
until only small shards of glass remained
scattered on the teal carpet


 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Michael
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Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


1 posted 01-17-2000 03:45 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Oh Martie, this is chilling.  So powerfull.
There was a country song once that said, "The things that will haunt him for the rest of his life - the smell of cheap whiskey and the sound of goodbye."  Indeed, this was "a drunk driverís final irony".
Very good - poignant piece.


Michael
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


2 posted 01-17-2000 07:06 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Michael, I realize that this is a difficult subject to read about and I appreciate the care that always goes into your comments.
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


3 posted 01-17-2000 07:14 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Martie,
A strong and poingnant piece, excellent. *L* Sy
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 01-17-2000 07:53 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Martie, I don't know where these ideas come from. I have an idea, you should get all of your poetry together and string it into a novel. It would make for very good reading
Liz
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


5 posted 01-17-2000 07:58 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Just like someone I know
He wasn't a drunk driver, do.
May his soul rest in peace
He took on a solid Oak door to release
I guess he could not stand it, looking at himself with ease

Well written, the message got me.


†The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  



[This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-17-2000).]
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 01-17-2000 08:22 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Excellent piece, Martie. Very powerful. The only tormentor we can't run from is the one within!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


7 posted 01-17-2000 11:17 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Sy--Thank you for the excellent.  I take that as the highest of compliments.

Liz--Many of my ideas come from current fiction that I am writing. One day soon you can read it.

Helmut--Thank you for your verse in reply--so sad it is.

Denise--Thank you for understanding.  Your the tops!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


8 posted 01-17-2000 11:26 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Oh, Martie ...

From one who lost a brother to a drunken driver ... I wish that tormentor had found himself first too.

Bless you. I wish this piece was required reading on every liquor bottle.
~Marge~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


9 posted 01-18-2000 01:57 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

A very powerful piece, but words that need to be shared and heard. Wonderful job!!
 
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