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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-01-17 03:33 PM



The Full length Reflection of Himself

It had been the ice cream
We can’t have cake without ice cream
vanilla ice cream
    
You go he said
it was his birthday
after all
he would sit on the porch
and wait into the afternoon

Another reason lurked
he was drinking
and what he wanted
was to sit on the porch
with another beer
not ice cream
and drink into the afternoon

His son of blond thatched hair
had exchanged a blue eyed look
with his wife
a look of disappointment
resignation and something else
disgust, he thought

They never came back
a drunk driver’s final irony

After the blissful numbness
a wave so powerful
so full of grinding pain hit him
that he wished that he was dead
it fell on him
ripped through
his fabric of pretension
found his soul
and squeezed it hard

He screamed
tore a chunk of hair
from his head
then took a hammer
searching for his tormentor
and found him in the bedroom
in front of the bathroom door

Took the hammer
to the full length reflection of himself
until only small shards of glass remained
scattered on the teal carpet


 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Michael
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2000-01-17 03:45 PM


Oh Martie, this is chilling.  So powerfull.
There was a country song once that said, "The things that will haunt him for the rest of his life - the smell of cheap whiskey and the sound of goodbye."  Indeed, this was "a drunk driver’s final irony".
Very good - poignant piece.


Michael

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2000-01-17 07:06 PM


Michael, I realize that this is a difficult subject to read about and I appreciate the care that always goes into your comments.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2000-01-17 07:14 PM


Martie,
A strong and poingnant piece, excellent. *L* Sy

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2000-01-17 07:53 PM


Martie, I don't know where these ideas come from. I have an idea, you should get all of your poetry together and string it into a novel. It would make for very good reading
Liz

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
5 posted 2000-01-17 07:58 PM


Just like someone I know
He wasn't a drunk driver, do.
May his soul rest in peace
He took on a solid Oak door to release
I guess he could not stand it, looking at himself with ease

Well written, the message got me.
< !signature-->

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  



[This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-17-2000).]

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-01-17 08:22 PM


Excellent piece, Martie. Very powerful. The only tormentor we can't run from is the one within!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~


Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-01-17 11:17 PM


Sy--Thank you for the excellent.  I take that as the highest of compliments.

Liz--Many of my ideas come from current fiction that I am writing. One day soon you can read it.

Helmut--Thank you for your verse in reply--so sad it is.

Denise--Thank you for understanding.  Your the tops!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2000-01-17 11:26 PM


Oh, Martie ...

From one who lost a brother to a drunken driver ... I wish that tormentor had found himself first too.

Bless you. I wish this piece was required reading on every liquor bottle.
~Marge~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
9 posted 2000-01-18 01:57 AM


A very powerful piece, but words that need to be shared and heard. Wonderful job!!
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