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Open Poetry #5
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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-01-16 11:17 PM


I see the stars sparkling so bright,
Within the moon kissed sky.
I hear the lark so sweetly sing,
Amidst the morning dawn.
I smell the flower full in bloom,
And see their royal pomp.

And yet some place so deep within,
I'm shrouded and I'm closed.
The brillance there I can't see,
In mists of misery.
Enshrined inside, unable thus,
To touch the warmth without.

I gaze upon this passion spent,

And yet...Inside I die.




[This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 01-18-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
1 posted 2000-01-16 11:19 PM


Wow.  Lovely, and completely so.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
2 posted 2000-01-16 11:22 PM


Funny how that is isn't it? When we can see the beauty all around us and just can't feel it within?  I can relate to this one!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark



Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
3 posted 2000-01-16 11:24 PM


Marilyn this is wonderful, something different for you, me likes a lot. Bravo. And I too have felt this way  

 Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.
~Isis~
(Sovereign of the Spirit)



First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

4 posted 2000-01-16 11:25 PM


This is very nice.....you need to write more poetry


 Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-01-16 11:34 PM


Great poem, Marilyn....I too can relate!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~


Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
6 posted 2000-01-16 11:45 PM


I've felt like this a lot lately...but I'm starting to feel the beauty again.    Wonderfully done, Marilyn.  

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
7 posted 2000-01-17 12:58 PM


The beauty is within you my friend, and within this poem!
Anne
Member
since 1999-12-31
Posts 78

8 posted 2000-01-17 01:14 AM


Wonderfully articulated!  
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
9 posted 2000-01-17 01:20 AM


If only to feel the beauty within that we do outside!!  I can relate to this feeling, I want to feel and see that kind of beauty again within me!!
I liked this very much!!
Nicely done!!

Take Care
Bridgette

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
10 posted 2000-01-17 04:45 AM


Look inside Marilyn, the inner beauty is there as well, and I'm sure you'll find it soon enough!!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
11 posted 2000-01-17 04:05 PM


Oh hun, this is a beautifully written poem, but yet I find it so sad. There is so much beauty within you, that you add to the beauty outside. I know how you feel though and I guess that's what saddens me the most.
(((HUGS)))

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2000-01-17 04:12 PM


Astrea......Thankyou. :0

Rebecca....Yes it is funny how that works, even as hard as we try to feel it inside.

Isis...Thanks Sister. It is a different style for me. I think it likes me much.  

Sir Knight...Thakyou and I shall try.  

Denise...Thankyou.

Krista...I am glad that you are beginning to feel the beauty again. You are much to young to be enshrouded within yourself. Chin up my friend.  

Chris....:0 you always know how to make me blush. *giggle*

Anne...Thankyou so very much.  

Justblue.....I am very happy you could relate to this piece. Unfortunately many of us know all to well these feelings.

devina....I do not feel this way at present but I have been there. I think it all comes out in our writting when it is time and this pieces time had come.

Ruth...you snuck in there on me friend...lol. This is not from my present situation but from feelings I have had in the past. It was just it's time to be written.


[This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 01-17-2000).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2000-01-17 04:35 PM


You have written your feelings well here--I'm glad they are past feelings.  Sometimes it takes time before the words can form that match the feelings.  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

14 posted 2000-01-18 05:47 AM


Marilyn...this is a pleasure to read. I loved it!

K

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
15 posted 2000-01-18 06:43 AM


Somehow, I knew when I opened this, it would be a good poem, Just lovely
Liz

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
16 posted 2000-01-18 07:31 AM


intense.....a fantastic poem

 

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
17 posted 2000-01-18 05:40 PM


Martie...Thankyou...I too am glad they are past feelings, although they do creep up again from time to time.

Severn...So very glad you enjoyed it my friend.  

Liz...A wonderful compliment from such a talented poet. Thankyou so very much.

tracie....Thankyou for your comment, it is very much appreciated.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

18 posted 2000-01-18 05:45 PM


Marilyn, very beautiful this is and yet so sad. beautifully written!!

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
19 posted 2000-01-18 07:16 PM


Very nice poem Marilyn ! Though I'm glad those feelings belong to the past. : )
Tamera
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121

20 posted 2000-01-18 07:56 PM


I am so glad these feelings are past, not present. Beauty surrounds us each day, it is too bad we cannot feel that inside each day. I can relate to this wonderful poem!  
Tamera

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
21 posted 2000-01-18 10:16 PM


Marilyn....I didn't think it was possible to improve on this wonderful piece of poetry, but with the change in presentation, you have proved me wrong and done so. Beautiful, well written work  
Majestic
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
22 posted 2000-01-18 10:28 PM


This is truly beautifully written..But dang it's sad....I'm glad it does not apply to you ....or, especially me!...
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
23 posted 2000-01-18 11:51 PM


WoW

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~



Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
24 posted 2000-01-19 08:35 PM


Dark angel...Thankyou for the compliment. They are past but from time to time they still creep up. I think it is like anything else in life, we live it as it comes.

Munda....thanks for you kudos

Tamera....There is a peacful glory to the world. Not to be able to revel in it on a daily basis is such a shame.

Ruth my friend, thankyou for your help while I played with this time and time again. Finding finally that your suggestion worked the best for me...lol. You know mw so well. ((hugs))

Majestic...I too am glad it does not apply to you. Unfortunately it did apply to me at a point in my life. There are still times when this creeps in and I have to push it out with all I have.

Echo....I am not sure how to reply to your wow..except the humblest of thankyou's.

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
25 posted 2000-02-28 05:20 PM


This is a magnificent poem, Marilyn.  Powerful ending - I can relate well to this.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
26 posted 2004-06-06 01:59 PM


understanding this
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