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Passions in Poetry

Crying In My Sleep (Challenge from Saxoness)

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Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


0 posted 01-16-2000 07:41 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Lovers are dreamers
and I've been crying in my sleep.
When I awake, I'll never take
a chance that I can't keep.

A thousand first times
never add up to last,
and I've been told a heart of gold
melts away too fast.

So look me in the eyes you fool
what is it that you see?
Do you see the hurt deep down
from all you've done to me?

It's bad enough you hurt my life
but the hurts now in my dreams.
I guess I should have realized
that nothings as it seems.

You took my heart, broke it in two
made promises you couldn't keep
and now I'm left here all alone
just crying in my sleep.


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste.  Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~






[This message has been edited by Echo Rhayne (edited 01-17-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Echo Rhayne - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 01-16-2000 07:46 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Well, seems you've met the challenge splendidly!!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


2 posted 01-16-2000 08:11 PM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

That is beautifully written as always Echo!!I've been away from here too long!!! This place brightens my sorrows!!

Take Care!!  
Bridgette

 "It may take a boy to turn a girl's head, but it takes a man to turn a girl's heart."
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 01-17-2000 12:30 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Melanie excellent poem here! Strong emotions and wording! Very well done!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


4 posted 01-17-2000 03:07 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Thanks Denise  

Bridgette, yes, you have been away too long, glad to see you back!  

Rebecca, Congrats on the 3,000 posts, and on my poem too   yeah!!  


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


5 posted 01-17-2000 04:37 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

I'd say challenge well met, but I think you've done more than that here! This is a beautiful show of emotion Mel, I loved it!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


6 posted 01-17-2000 08:37 AM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

wonderfull, enjoyed the read very much thanks Echo.
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


7 posted 01-17-2000 09:19 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Echo , This is sad but very good , Thanks for the read  
Lisa Graham-Marshall
Junior Member
since 12-31-1999
Posts 24
Nottingham. UK


8 posted 01-17-2000 12:13 PM       View Profile for Lisa Graham-Marshall   Email Lisa Graham-Marshall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lisa Graham-Marshall

I can relate to this poem with all my heart right now..Thanx for the read  
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


9 posted 01-17-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Thanks everyone!  Glad you all enjoyed it!  

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


10 posted 01-17-2000 10:00 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Bravo! Challenge well met indeed! If I had written it, I couldn't have found a better way to do it than you did. I like it!

 "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."
                                      
                                 -Charles Brugnot



[This message has been edited by Saxoness (edited 01-17-2000).]
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 01-18-2000 12:53 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

well done Echo!!!
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


12 posted 01-18-2000 04:35 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Saxoness...Glad you liked it.  I was going to make it a lot different than this, but I didn't like how it came out, then i wrote this and hand hurt too much to try and write another one LoL.  Though Im sure its something a lot of people can relate to (if they understand it).  Thanks for the challenge!

Thank you Ruth!!  

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


13 posted 01-18-2000 04:45 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Very well done!, I don't know how I missed this one til now. I hope this poem isn't true but if it is, writing helps, and how beautifully you've done that.
Liz
simplyYRREHS
Member
since 01-03-2000
Posts 163


14 posted 01-18-2000 10:52 AM       View Profile for simplyYRREHS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for simplyYRREHS

So very well written!  The rhythm of the poem, the flow of the thought...I enjoyed this emensely.
Sherry

 "Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


15 posted 01-18-2000 05:52 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Liz,  In a way yes, in a way no, kind of complicated!  Thanks for the compliment  

Sherry, Thank you most kindly!

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


16 posted 01-18-2000 06:14 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Great poem, Echo! I can really feel your emotions on this piece!

 Nathan
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


17 posted 01-18-2000 06:17 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

A challenge well met Melanie!! and so beautifully written.

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


 
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