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Open Poetry #5
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What Kind Of Mother?
| Open Poetry #5 |
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What Kind Of Mother? |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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WHAT KIND OF MOTHER What kind of mother would tell her child, "Your birth was a mistake." A six year old, completely defiled, Too soon learns the word, ache. What kind of mother would tell her child, "For getting straight A's you sure are dumb." Confidence never reconciled, Self worth would soon succumb. What kind of mother would strike her child. While brother and sister witness. Through tears of terror, reviled For their own filth and unfitness. What kind of mother starves a child Tells him he's just a fake. With three days of beatings compiled Till doctors confirm the leg break. What kind of mother says, "It's your fault" Boiling soup got poured on you. What kind of mother gives verbal assault To everything you do. What kind of mother throws out a son At fourteen years of age. Or to her own head holds a gun Blaming him for the rage. What kind of mother would tell her child, When their father just died. He wasn't your dad anyway - The whole time she just lied. What kind of mother? An abusive one, I've found throughout the years. I just don't know why it still bothers this son, Or why I even waste these tears. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 01-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Michael, at first reading, I hoped that this was just a "fantasy" poem. But I am too old to believe that any more. You speak for many children. It is so sad. We have the funds to go to Mars in search of "life"...bacterial life at best. Yet we can't appreciate the life we have right here on our home planet. I heard that we are in the 5th extinction of life at this moment. In the next several decades half the life here on Earth will be gone. Children will be among that group...are among it. Robert |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
It is sad to think that there would be a human who could act with such cruelness, yet it continues to happen each and everyday to another child wondering why, what did I do? Michael you tell this so well that I get the feeling you are speaking about yourself and if so I offer you {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} my friend for you have grown to be a wonderful person and that makes you special. |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Michael, this is sooo sad but what is even sadder is that this happens everyday somewhere in this country or in any other for that matter. We are supposed to be intellectually superior to animals but I have never seen an animal abuse their offspring. Discipline yes...but not abuse. Some people shouldn't be parents. That includes my mother and apparently yours too. My heart goes out to you, but I notice that you are much stronger in your role as parent. You are nurturing and caring so you have done something about it. You stopped the cycle of abuse within your own family and are helping to raise a fine young man in your son. You are an amazing person in your strength. We cannot change what happened to us as children/adolescents but we can change the adult we become. Thanks for sharing this Michael. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Michael, this made me cry. It tears at my heart that this happened to you, and that it happens still to thousands of children around the world. It sickens me that often -- in fact, more often than not -- it goes unpunished, or the punishment given does not fit the crime. I am not a violent person -- exactly the opposite, in fact -- but when I read something like this it incites a killing rage in me that turns my vision red and my gut cold. These people are a waste of the air they breathe. I understand why you used the word "mother" in this, as that is what a child always sees her as, but I would like to state for the record that there is a difference between bearing children and being a mother. The person you describe here does not deserve the title nor the privilege. I'm sorry for the rant. Hugs to you for what you've suffered -- you've held up well considering.  --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
How very sad...heartwrenching poem, Michael. If this is a page from your life, I'm so very sorry.  You deserved better than that...Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Oh, Michael. Big hugs are coming to you from South Carolina. As much as we lie to ourselves and say it doesn't matter anymore, it does. One thing I had a hard time dealing with this past summer, was that even though my dad was abusive and an alcoholic, I still needed him in my life. Inside, we are still children, wanting and needing that parent figure to be there for us. For those who've never been in that position, they can't understand how a child can still love a parent who abused them. It's like a faithful dog. The master may beat it, kick it, starve it, etc. but the dog will continue to lick its wounds and cozy up to its owner, searching for affection. I understand, Michael. I've been there. |
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moonmoon Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 277TX , USA |
My God Michael..I am finding it hard to type through the mist of tears. If this poem represents a page of your life, then, I am in awe at your tenacity that emerged you a winner..!! Now you know why everyone in passions love you so much..  Hats off Sir..both at the poem ..and the sentiments portrayed.!! "No one was ever ruined from without; The final ruin comes from within.".....Amelia E. Barr |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
If this was your life when you was younger, my heart goes out to you. A very sad poem you have here. Nathan |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Michael this was a sad poem!! It was well written and made a very good point!! I sure hope this wasn't from your life!! Take Care!!! Bridgette |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
Oh michael, What a tragic poem. It is even sadder to know that things like this happen everyday, everywhere. Now take a minute, wrap your arms around yourself, now squeeze real hard. That is a hug from me to you. Take care. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Micheal, my heart goes out to you friend. Through your poetry I've seen your humor, passion, and heart, and now this peice sheds light onto a subject that many experience. HUGS to you, in hopes that it makes it a little easier!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Hey Michael! What can I say that hasn't been said already? Probably not much! It hurts so much to know that people are treated this way. Being a mom I just can't understand it! You still cry over this because it is your mom and it hurts, for we will always search for that acceptance! My friend, one day they will feel the exact pain that you felt, just how you felt it. And may they be ashamed as they stand before God and answer for this. I'm really glad you have broke that chain with your kids. You are a strong person to be able to do that! For most times what we learn in childhood is repeated with our own kids. Keep your faith Michael! God bless you and keep you strong! <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I sit here drying my eyes...I don't even have words to say, that haven't already been said. Thank you for having the courage to share this with us...I see it has opened many eyes, including mine. I could hardly bear to read some of the words you wrote. Sometimes I get angry with myself for not having more patience with my kids, but even on the worst day, I would never harm them, or hurt them like what you spoke of...Too often the children pay the price that isn't even theirs to pay....I love you - remember that. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Michael: This broke my heart to know that for some children what you have written is all they know about a mother's so called love...and it makes my blood boil...oops Bless you sweetheart and I'm so glad you have Mikey and that he can grow up knowing how much his father loves him.. HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I wish to thank you, one and all, for the replies/comments. I think this one had me weighted down for quite some time. Unfortunately, each stanza here was a page of my life, memories I've carried in fear and shame for many years. The reason I felt it necessary to write this and post this now is it donned on me that I'm 32 years old and the abuse still hasn't stopped. When does it? I won't go into any further detail other than to say I have been devistated of late by the extremes to which my own mother has went just to inflict harm. I must also add that I do love my mother, which is why this is such a gaping wound for me. I am objective enough to see her own pains in her actions, (I see her parents downgrading her when she is downgrading me). What I don't understand is why I have to pay that price too, or my brothers or my sister or any child at all? All I am certain of, is the abusers rarely change. To break the cycle has to be the choice of the abused. Above all, this was a cry for public awareness. The problem is more widespread than anyone would like to admit. I know not the answers, I only know I feel like screaming "It's Gotta Stop!" RobertB, very interesting thoughts. Gloria, indeed, by the time a child realizes it's not their fault their lives are all too frequently already shattered. WildChild, you are so right...We can't change the past but we can be aware of our own actions and remember our our pains when dealing with our children. It may take a child a little while to appreciate discipline, but they will never understand abuse. There is a definate distinction. An abused child who never realizes this distinction, usually repeats the abuse. Kess, I relate well to that build up of inner emotion. I have heard a mother doesn't "instinctively" love her children. I don't know why that is such a hard concept for me to grasp, but your statement is cetainly justified by it. "There is a difference in just giving birth and being a mother." Denise, TY... Tara, that's exactly how it is. Like Faithful dogs coming back for more. Luna, "love" is only something I'm learning of. When your abused so long by whom you look up to and love, knowing little else in your life, your perception of what love is becomes very distorted. That all of you at Passions have given so freely of it is overwhelming to me. Nate, thanks. I know you can relate to my feelings of opression. Bridgette, thanks and I will. KitKat, thanks, *hugging myself* devina...it helps Gen, sorry I made you cry again. You personally have shown me what love is. Something I never witnessed between my father or mother. I know we still have much to learn about eachother still, but this much I know, I love you too, babe. I don't necessarily know who I am or who I want to be...but I do know who I "don't" want to be. We can build from that. RG, thank you. Mikey will never know this type of abuse in my house. It is in all my hopes and prayers both he an my daughter never will in their mother's home. Michael |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Michael...this brought tears to my eyes. My son suffered much the same under the hands and tongue of his father that you have under your mother. He is only now beginning to see his worth as a person once more. You are right, the injustice has to stop and only by public awareness can we begin to make a change. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you even more for helping be the voice of those who can not speak for themselves, the innocent children. (((HUGS))) |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Hugs from Lorelei and LJA...we've both been there, in differnt, yet similar ways, and understand. I wonder if it ever leaves us, or if it always shapes our lives? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
My father's father "left" after having had his wife bear his 12 children. My father never spoke of his father. Later in life I learned that my grandfather was still alive. My father died never forgiving his father for his leaving. My father was a perfect father in all respects. I cannot relate to your pain, as it was never inflicted on me. I can empathize, however, that you were abused, mistreated, and that you will always be wondering "why". In that you will be a wonderful father for your whole life, let that be the least of the legacy your mother left you. Hugs, Sunshine Continue to use your pain, and love, to write, Michael, and help others understand. You have a gift from Him. It shows. Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Michael: I know I'm only 10 years old than you, but I'd love a child to love even if it was a grown man, can I be the loving side of the mum that you're missing? HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Michael: Your poem breaks my heart... Just as giving birth doesn't create a "mother"... love isn't dependent on whether the recipient deserves the love... You have my utmost respect for being a good parent when you lacked the example, for parenting with trust and tolerance rather than temper and terror. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
My heart goes out to you Michael and words fail me. You have both courage and compassion--too traits that will keep you strong. |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Touching words you have written there. I can relate to what you've said Your poem certainly raised ne questions I can only say, I'm sorry In any case a well written piece The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, maybe it happens to Michaels. I was convinced, based on my mother's teachings, that I was nothing but a sad mistake not supposed to happen but, since I did, I ruined her life. She has not had to face her mistake for 37 years. Needless to say, your poem has special meaning for me. |
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CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
I am so sorry, this should never happen to any kid. I know what you mean by still loving the abusive parent. I thought by going back after 5 years he would have changed, but he didn't. Abusers rarely ever change. I'm just glad i had the chance to say my final goodbye. You did a great job writting this piece. I wish you all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Michael this is really sad and I hope you break this cycle. I hope and pray God will take you in his arms and Love you and care for you and heal you with his compassion and mercy. James |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Michael-  A great big hug of affection for a man that I admire for his tenderness and his wisdom. Love ~Marge~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Michael, Seems to me you are giving to the world a thousand fold what your mother never gave to you. Your tears will never stop, but you could alienate yourself and your son from the abuse, and still love your mother in your heart. Love ya, Liz |
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