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Passions in Poetry

Tolkien's world

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Artur Hawkwing
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since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


0 posted 01-16-2000 01:42 AM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

Just a brief imitation of Tolkien's poetry- some ideas aren't mine but this is only an imitation. An one-time effort. Let me know what you think.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Clouds were sifting through high trees,
wordless music could be heard in the breeze
as the leaves fell pallid and dead
upon summerless grounds in the mead,
the starry gardens now shone divine,
the glory, the beauty, the loveliness.
The tears falling from fountains in the lake
now rose as a mist, slowly in its wake,
and waterfalls clashed in return;
softly the great earth came upon a turn
till sun rise again upon airy dream
and white sun blaze upon lone stream.

   Dark, sundering seas for ever roar
in the eastern sea, without wear,
the Sunless Seas it is renown in song
for maddening are its waters, and ghosts long
upon shore moan the horrors unspoken;
but in Elvenland the fair pearls glitter unbroken
upon shores, and sharp voices come unseen
mighty as the sea, wild as summer green.
© Copyright 2000 Artur Hawkwing - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 01-16-2000 09:32 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I'd like to see what you're emulating, of course, Artur... but you've used some pretty effective imagery here..
Dusk Treader
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since 06-18-99
Posts 1231
St. Paul, MN


2 posted 01-16-2000 03:14 PM       View Profile for Dusk Treader   Email Dusk Treader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dusk Treader

I being a Tolkien fanatic was caught just by your title.  You've definetly given a dark cast to the land of Middle Earth (IMHO), though I must say this seems to be much different from Tolkien in style, though you can see corresponding points (i.e. The Sundering Seas).  Much enjoyed, I'd love to see some Tolkien inspired poetry.  

 In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons


Denise
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since 08-22-99
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3 posted 01-16-2000 03:35 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I'm not familiar with Tolkien' works so I can't make a comparison, but I thought this was an excellent poem! I enjoyed it very much!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~

Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


4 posted 01-16-2000 03:41 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Never read any of Tolkein's poetry, but I loved his Lord of the Rings as a child ...

This, to me, seemed reminiscent of either the Mordor or perhaps some of Michael Moorcock's Elric writing (though to my knowledge Moorcock didn't write in verse).

Excellent poem nonetheless -- the second stanza was my favorite but then I am a fan of nearly anything fantasy.  

--Kess


 You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


5 posted 01-16-2000 04:05 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Artur,
Good pallette, good paint, enjoyed the read.
Majestic
Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 269
houston, tx.


6 posted 01-16-2000 09:09 PM       View Profile for Majestic   Email Majestic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Majestic

well lets see here...after reading it a couple times...i can picture the destuction of Lothlorien after the one ring was destroyed....Only a thought....Excellent imagery...great read Artur...
Artur Hawkwing
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since 06-30-99
Posts 443
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7 posted 01-18-2000 01:16 PM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

Oh no. Thanks for waiting on me   ...here it is...

Nan-
You wanna see what I am emulating? - sure thing - it'll be at the end of this post... so no one who hates Tolkien poetry would have to read it. Thanks for the imagery comment, much appreciated.

Dusk Treader-
Dark cast - I know, sorry! It is part of my style - I like to write about mysterious things - the lands of myth are often wild and have terrifying qualities - or are idealistically serene. I will think of what else I can write that is Tolkien-inspired... thank you.

Denise-
Thanks - at the end of this post, you can compare...

Skyfyre-
Second stanza is better?... thanks for letting me know. I need to know what people enjoy the most in my own poetry... but get ready to read your first Tolkien poem, then!  

Seymour-
Thank you, I try.

Majestic-
Interesting thought, Majestic...I will think of it...perhaps a poem can be written on the destruction of Lothlorien!

For Nan's sake:
I emulated what came out of the book The Lays of Beleriand: The History of Middle-earth by J.R.R. Tolkien. What I visualized came from several different sections of poetry - I don't even know where to start. But here they are.

p. 197 (of Morgoth)
Far in the North neath hills of stone
in caverns black there was a throne
by fires illumined underground,
that winds of ice with moaning sound
made flare and flicker in dark smoke;
the wavering bitter coils did choke
the sunless airs of dungeons deep
where evil things did crouch and creep.
There sat a king: no Elfin race
nor mortal blood, nor kindly grace
of earth or heaven might he own,
far older, stronger than the stone
the world is build of, than the fire
that burns within more fierce and dire;
and thoughts profound were in his heart:
a gloomy power that dwelt apart.

(way Tolkien describes the environment makes me think...)

---------------------------------------------
p. 395 (of Luthien)

Such lissom limbs no more shall run
on the green earth beneath the sun;
so fair a maid no more shall be
from dawn to dusk, from sun to sea,
Her robe was blue as summer skies,
but grey as evening were her eyes;
her mantle sewn with lilies fair,
but dark as shadow was her hair.
Her feet were swift as bird on wing,
her laughter merry as the spring;
the slender willow, the bowing reed,
the fragrance of a flowering mead,
the light upon the leaves of trees,
the voice of water, more than these
her beauty was and blissfulness,
her glory and her loveliness.

(It could be why I included 'glory', 'loveliness', and 'mead' as contained in that passage)

---------------------------------------------
Last of all, I will include my favorite excerpt from that book. Please watch out... (if you hate, absolutely hate, long passages...read anyway, you might find it enjoyable)

p. 211 (of Beren and Luthien)

     In sunshine and in sheen of moon,
with silken robe and silver shoon,
the daughter of the deathless queen
now danced on the undying green,
half elven-fair and half divine;
and when the stars began to shine
unseen but near a piping woke,
and in the branches of an oak,
or seated on the beech-leaves brown,
Dairon the dark with ferny crown
played with bewildering wizard's art
music for breaking of the heart.
Such players have there only been
thrice in all Elfinesse, I ween:
Tinfang Gelion who still the moon
enchants on summer nights of June
and kindles the pale firstling star;
and he who harps upon the far
forgotten beaches and dark shores
where western foam for ever roars,
Maglor whose voice is like the sea;
and Dairon, mightiest of the three.

     Now it befell on summer night,
upon a lawn where lingering light
yet lay and faded faint and grey,
that Luthien danced while he did play.
The chestnuts on the turf had shed
their flowering candles, white and red;
there darkling stood a silent elm
and pale beneath its shadow-helm
there glimmered faint the umbels thick
of hemlocks like a mist, and quick
the moths on pallid wings of white
with tiny eyes of fiery light
were fluttering softly, and the voles
crept out to listen from their holes;
the little owls were hushed and still;
the moon was yet behind the hill.
Her arms like ivory were gleaming,
her long hair like a cloud was streaming,
her feet atwinkle wandered roaming
in misty mazes in the gloaming;
and glowworms shimmered round her feet,
and moths in moving garland fleet
above her head went wavering wan--
and this the moon now looked upon,
uprisen slow, and round, and white,
above the branches of the clear night.
Then clearly thrilled her voice and rang;
with sudden ecstasy she sang
a song of nightingales she learned
and with her elvish magic turned
to such bewildering delight
the moon hung moveless in the night.
And this it was that Beren heard,
and this he saw, without a word,
enchanted dumb, yet filled with fire
of such a wonder and desire
that all his mortal mind was dim;
and faint he leaned against a tree.
Forwandered, wayworn, gaunt was he,
his body sick and heart gone cold,
grey in his hair, his youth turned old;
for those that tread the lonely way
a price of woe and anguish pay.
And now his heart was healed and slain
with a new life and with new pain.

     He gazed, and as he gazed her hair
within its cloudy web did snare
the silver moonbeams sifting white
between the leaves, and glinting bright
the tremulous starlight of the skies
was caught and mirrored in her eyes.
Then all his journey's lonely fare,
the hunger and the haggard care,
the awful mountains' stones he stained
with bloody of weary feet, and gained
only a land of ghosts, and fear
in dark ravines imprisoned sheer--
there mighty spiders wove their webs,
old creatures foul with birdlike nebs
that span their traps in dizzy air,
and filled it with clinging black despair,
and there they lived, and the sucked bones
lay white beneath on the dank stones--
now all these horrors like a cloud
faded from mind.  The waters loud
falling from pineclad heights no more
he heard, those waters grey and frore
that bittersweet he drank and filled
his mind with madness--all was stilled.
He recked not now the burning road,
the paths demented where he strode
endlessly . . . and ever new
horizons stretched before his view,
as each blue ridge with bleeding feet
was climbed, and down he went to meet
battle with creatures old and strong
and monsters in the dark, and long,
long watches in the haunted night
while evil shapes with baleful light
in clustered eyes did crawl and snuff
beneath his tree--not half enough
the price he deemed to come at last
to that pale moon when day had passed,
to those clear stars of Elfinesse,
the heart-ease and the loveliness.

     Lo! all forgetting he was drawn
unheeding toward the glimmering lawn
by love and wonder that compelled
his feet from hiding; music welled
within his heart, and songs unmade
on themes unthought-of moved and swayed
his soul with sweetness; out he came,
a shadow in the moon's pale flame--
and Dairon's flute as sudden stops
as lark before it steeply drops,
as grasshopper within the grass
listening for heavy feet to pass.
'Flee, Luthien!', and 'Luthien!'
from hiding Dairon called again;
'A stranger walks the woods!  Away!'
But Luthien would wondering stay;
fear she had never felt or known,
till fear then seized her, all alone,
seeing that shape with shagged hair
and shadow long that halted there.
Then sudden she vanished like a dream
in dark oblivion, a gleam
in hurrying clouds, for she had leapt
among the hemlocks tall, and crept
under a mighty plant with leaves
all long and dark, whose stem in sheaves
upheld an hundred umbels fair;
and her white arms and shoulders bare
her rainment pale, and in her hair
the wild white roses glimmering there,
all lay like splattered moonlight hoar
in gleaming pools upon the floor.
Then stared he wild in dumbness bound
as silent trees, deserted ground;
he blindly groped across the glade
to the dark trees' encircling shade,
and, while she watched with veiled eyes,
touched her soft arm in sweet surprise.
Like startled moth from deathlike sleep
in sunless nook or bushes deep
she darted swift, and to and fro
with cunning that elvish dancers know
about the trunks of trees she twined
a path fantastic.  Far behind
enchanted, wildered and forlorn
Beren came blundering, bruised and torn:
Esgalduin the elven-stream,
in which amid tree-shadows gleam
the stars, flowed strong before his feet.
Some secret way she found, and fleet
passed over and was seen no more,
and left him forsaken on the shore.

(This was probably where I came up with the main theme for this poem. Without referring to any characters.)


Happy, Nan?  
Sorry for the length - but you asked!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


8 posted 01-18-2000 08:33 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Arthur: I'm lost for words...

HUGS

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Majestic
Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 269
houston, tx.


9 posted 01-18-2000 10:37 PM       View Profile for Majestic   Email Majestic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Majestic

WOOHOO!...Tolkien..the master..hehehe...The Father of fantasy....and his prodigee'...Mr. Artur Hawkwing...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 01-18-2000 11:09 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I have to be the first here to admit, although I'm fimilar with The Lord of the Rings Trilogy...I didn't even realize Tolkien wrote poetry. Well done  
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 06-30-99
Posts 443
USA


11 posted 01-20-2000 08:10 PM       View Profile for Artur Hawkwing   Email Artur Hawkwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artur Hawkwing

Thanks for the great responses everybody, I have really enjoyed getting to hear what you had to say regarding this piece!

RainbowGirl - Don't worry about it. I appreciate knowing that you read this.  

Majestic - Now that makes me laugh! He's a genius isn't he?

Hoot_owl - Thank you.  
Majestic
Member
since 01-11-2000
Posts 269
houston, tx.


12 posted 01-21-2000 12:03 AM       View Profile for Majestic   Email Majestic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Majestic

He gave us elves and dragons and a place in our imagination to view them in all their splendor.....Myself...genius just isn't a strong enough word....(maybe my opinion is biased)....lol
 
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