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Open Poetry #5
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Lynn Burdette
Junior Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 25
Greensboro, Georgia ( I'm a Georgia peach!)

0 posted 2000-01-15 09:45 PM


Teardrops
by:Lynn Burdette

Teardrops, teardrops in my eye,
softly flowing as we say good-bye.
You reach and touch the tear as it falls
And kiss my lips as I stand tall.
Trying not to show my pain,
I whisper softly your sweet name.

Teardrops, teardrops in my eye,
softly flowing as we say good-bye.
My face is wet and my heart is blue.
The pain inside, if you only knew.
I smile a fake smile as I look at your face.
I know my memories cannot be replaced.

Teardrops, teardrops in my eye,
Softly flowing as we say good-bye.
Please hurry and go for I cannot contain
the teardrops that fall they fall like rain.
As I watch you leave, I wave to you
and hope these teardrops turn to dew.

Teardrops, teardrops in my eye,
Softly flowing as we say good-bye.




 Lynn Burdette

© Copyright 2000 Lynn Boivin - All Rights Reserved
Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
1 posted 2000-01-15 09:49 PM


Wow...reminds me of a lot of memories...  Very lovely.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."


Paul Hoekman
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>
2 posted 2000-01-15 09:51 PM


This is precious
so very sweet
thanks again
a real treat
Earthman

Rus Bowden
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 139

3 posted 2000-01-16 12:43 PM


Hi Lynn,

Great use of refrain, so simple and moving.

Rus

CrazyChick
Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132

4 posted 2000-01-16 12:55 PM


Great work,  well written !!!
Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA
5 posted 2000-01-16 01:14 AM


I give you two thumbs up on this one. The way you portray your emotions is lovely.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2000-01-16 07:09 AM


I could feel the fake smile, I think I smiled that way before
Good poem, I loved it
Liz

John Yaws
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860
Texas
7 posted 2000-01-16 09:45 AM


Ditto, to the above. A very bitter-sweet rendition of memory.
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
8 posted 2000-01-16 11:19 AM


I like your poem very much.What a lovely poem.Keep it up.
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
9 posted 2000-01-16 02:18 PM


Great poem and very moving!

 Nathan

gary marshall
New Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 4
Nottingham.UK
10 posted 2000-01-16 02:59 PM


Very lovely poem, enjoyed it very much.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 2000-01-16 03:49 PM


Beautiful, Lynn and I love the use of the repetition. So many teardrops....

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2000-01-16 03:57 PM


Lynn,
Enjoyed the read.

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
13 posted 2000-01-16 09:12 PM


I really liked the sing songiness to this!!  I thought it was very pretty!!  I liked and enjoyed this very much!!  It was sooo sad, and similar to how I've felt before!!

Take Care,

Bridgette

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2000-01-16 09:31 PM


Lynn-

This is a beautifully written piece.
The flow is rhymic and lyrically lovely.
By golly, I think I like it very much.
~*Marge*~

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

15 posted 2000-01-16 10:14 PM


So simple and direct....feelings flow here like the tears.  Very nice

 Drive it like you stole it...LOL


Lynn Burdette
Junior Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 25
Greensboro, Georgia ( I'm a Georgia peach!)
16 posted 2000-01-24 10:20 PM


I want to thank each and everyone of you for your nice replies. It really is encouraging to hear such great comments from all of you.
I hope you all continue to enjoy all of my poems. Everything that I write comes straight from my heart and is a experience that I have had sometime in my life. Thanks again everyone!
Lynn Burdette

One Who Understands
Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
17 posted 2000-01-25 01:09 AM


Very beautiful

and comforting to the teardrops in my eyes!

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