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Passions in Poetry

can you help me with a title?

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angel girl
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 329
within a whisper...


0 posted 01-15-2000 02:10 PM       View Profile for angel girl   Email angel girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for angel girl

I sat on the crystal sand
And let the warmth enfold me.
The sun reached out its gentle hand.
Its melody played an unknown key.

The whispers of the sun touched the distant clouds.
Revealing brilliant colors no artist could ever describe.
The kaleidoscope continued-
As the colors began to collide.

I could smell the sweet salt air.
I could taste it in my mouth.
A soft sea breeze rustled my hair
And gently headed South.

The sun reached the horizon.
The colors began to fade.
One lone star appeared-
Marking this day’s grave.


 One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
-William Shakespeare

© Copyright 2000 Liz - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 01-15-2000 02:44 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

angel girl....I like your poetry, but posting so many in the space of 5 minutes will surely mean most of them will move to another page without being read. Try to time them so they aren't all posted at once... We do appreciate that as the members here try to read each post and it's so hard when someone posts so many in such a short time! We do have other forums for poetry..the Pub for instance if you want to post one or two here and one or two there!  Thanks for understanding!
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 01-15-2000 03:47 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

As to a suggestion for a title:

Skylight's Crystal Keys?

nice piece, thanks!

 Sunshine
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Rus Bowden
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


3 posted 01-15-2000 06:31 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

hi angel girl,

lovely lone experience of sunset, so how about "lone sunset"?

rus
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 01-15-2000 06:49 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Angel Girl,
   I'm thinking that an apt title would perhaps come from within the verses, too. I love your last line, and if it were my work, I would entitle it "This Day's Grave."
  The reasons? Well, it's a strong theme, the sunset as metaphor to life's end. But that it is "this" day's grave would suggest that there will be yet another day to follow. To me, it refers to allowing one's "day" (mistakes, regrets, weariness, shortcomings, etc) to be put to rest, with the hopeful notion that one's "tomorrow" will arrive bearing yet another opportunity for fulfillment, through one's own efforts and chosen direction.
  You've got a wonderful poem going here! Keep writing!  

Claire
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