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metal detector

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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 01-15-2000 03:25 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

I had a lot of fun with this one. It actually came to me at work today, after someone showed me a political cartoon of a kid having to walk through a metal detector to talk to Santa. Somehow, the rhyme-y song of the poem was already in my head -- I quickly made a copy of the cartoon and wrote a poem all over it. As you can see, I was more interested in toying with rhythm and rhyme than the actual meaning of words. However, there is an underlying message in this. See if YOU can find it.  

Mike

-metal detector-
Metal detector, inspector of the genuflect confector. Vector of surrender for the three-pronged spectre. The center of adventure for the regional inspector. The sick and wily art of making you feel better.

Metal detector: "Offer up you rings, your coins, your keys,
Your damning heings."

Santa Claus is not waiting on the other side to give you back your toys. Pass through, all you criminals, you aging girls and boys.

Metal detector, love of hate's cold splendor. A monolith to regress the depressed -- forged untender; take it all back. A dimly aged light pushing your face to your back. A tall-standing pinnacle --
twin beams of lack.
A mainstay of relic-ed feeling
That will eventually make you crack.
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
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1 posted 01-15-2000 03:28 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Of course, that word should be "beings." Passions

Mike
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
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2 posted 01-15-2000 03:29 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

(and, as a footnote, I made a tongue sticking out in the last message -- colon and p -- I have no idea why it says Passions there instead)
stephen j
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since 01-15-2000
Posts 23


3 posted 01-15-2000 03:59 AM       View Profile for stephen j   Email stephen j   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stephen j

i loved this poem beause one time on purpose i stuck a soda can in my coat pocket and went throught the airport detector and got caught
  stephen
stephen j
Junior Member
since 01-15-2000
Posts 23


4 posted 01-15-2000 04:06 AM       View Profile for stephen j   Email stephen j   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for stephen j

thanks this is stephen and i thank u for the tips i will use those
Rus Bowden
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since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


5 posted 01-15-2000 04:58 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

Hi Mike,

Love the rap beat of this against the metal...  Fun language play.

Rus

[This message has been edited by Rus Bowden (edited 01-15-2000).]
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
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6 posted 05-22-2002 07:17 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Interesting story -- the idea for this poem came from a political cartoon about a kid needing to go through a metal detector to meet Santa. ......man, this old stuff is strange to me...

She said burn ... together.
-TON

 
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