Member Rara Avis
Hi, Terri. I liked your poem, but it seems a little too ... no, not syrupy ... maybe overblown? I understand as well as anybody how overblown you can feel when you're in the middle of heated romance and love, but I also say that unneutered feelings, without strong images anchoring them down, can make a poem careen out of control. I feel like you're just hanging on to these words here; that they're sorta throwing you around and you're just hanging on. Drop some of the adjectives, maybe?