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Passions in Poetry

My Beloved

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Terri Madrid
New Member
since 01-15-2000
Posts 8


0 posted 01-15-2000 02:41 AM       View Profile for Terri Madrid   Email Terri Madrid   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Terri Madrid

               MY BELOVED


You, my Beloved, intoxicate me with your sweet wines of ecstacy.

Come feast with me upon the cuisine of intense passion.

Let us wonder upon the shores of dazzeling delight

and witness the developing billows of boundless desire .

Let us endure with harmonious enchantment
and feel within our hearts the sensation of LOVE.
© Copyright 2000 Terri Madrid - All Rights Reserved
amber
Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 246
los banos, ca,


1 posted 01-15-2000 04:14 AM       View Profile for amber   Email amber   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for amber

Hello and welcome, i see you dont have many posts here. I hope that you grow to know these poeple as well as i do, it reall yhas proved to be a helpful means of support when you need it. I loved your poem, brought out so many emotions that i often write about myself. Short and beautiful!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


2 posted 01-15-2000 04:15 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Hi, Terri. I liked your poem, but it seems a little too ... no, not syrupy ... maybe overblown? I understand as well as anybody how overblown you can feel when you're in the middle of heated romance and love, but I also say that unneutered feelings, without strong images anchoring them down, can make a poem careen out of control. I feel like you're just hanging on to these words here; that they're sorta throwing you around and you're just hanging on. Drop some of the adjectives, maybe?

Mike
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


3 posted 01-16-2000 02:56 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Terri,  I think you desribed what you wanted to very well here!  

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Rus Bowden
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


4 posted 01-16-2000 07:45 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

Hi Terri,

Lovely meter in this poem that serves its passionate invitation well.

Rus
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 01-16-2000 07:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Well, I was swept away when reading this! Well done, Terri!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~

 
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