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Passions in Poetry

My Achilles Heart

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Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


0 posted 01-14-2000 11:48 PM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet



From here  
       to the tip of the Greater Antilles,
       we know the myth
       of the Greek called Achilles.
We know
       he was dipped in the River Styx
       by his mother to save him
       from Jove's final fix.
We know
       that she carelessly covered his heel
       and so sealed his doom
       with no room for appeal
To the Gods
       who guided his enemy's arrow;
       how else did it reach
       a target so narrow?
Fact
       or a fiction of Homer's invention,
       the tale of Achilles
       deserves current mention.
In my case, you see,
       against all odds
       and without the help
       of vengeful Greek Gods,
A sniper
       scored with a toxic dart
       straight to the cusp
       of my unmanned heart.
© Copyright 2000 Shrinking Violet - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 01-14-2000 11:59 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Very nice, Violet! I hope you didn't wind up with a heel!  
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


2 posted 01-15-2000 12:24 AM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet

Don't worry Balladeer, I cut all heels down to size.
Rus Bowden
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


3 posted 01-15-2000 04:32 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

Hi Violet,

I like the almost instructional way you relate the tale of Achilles and call upon the reader to make the parallel at the end.  Nicely laid out.  Enjoyed this, very much.

Rus
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


4 posted 01-15-2000 06:21 PM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet

Thanks Rus Bowden for your appreciative remarks. Glad I studied my mythology.
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 552
new orleans


5 posted 01-15-2000 06:31 PM       View Profile for poetry_kills   Email poetry_kills   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit poetry_kills's Home Page   View IP for poetry_kills

i like this alot... a very different type of emotional poem that gives me a new perspective to look through...  

sincerely,

 **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 01-15-2000 08:03 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I really like this poem... We all have our hidden Achilles agenda, don't we...

Have I mentioned that I'm glad you're here? We really need a good shrink around this Passionate Place.....
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


7 posted 01-15-2000 08:44 PM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is great I like this alot , Very different  
Astraea
Member
since 11-09-1999
Posts 397
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm


8 posted 01-15-2000 09:32 PM       View Profile for Astraea   Email Astraea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astraea

Yeah!  Mythology reference and how beautifully woven in too!  Lovely.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


9 posted 01-15-2000 11:11 PM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet

poetry kills - Most of the time, I do not know the effect my poetry is having on other people. To give someone a new perspective is gratifying.

Nan - I would like to be my own shrink, but the feedback I get from this group of poets makes me realize that I need other people.

Whiskey, Astraea - So thanks for the feedback you have provided.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 01-16-2000 03:05 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I've got to hand it to you, the title alone just sucked me in. This whole poem is very original, and I loved the last stanza.

Thanks for sharing!

Mike
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


11 posted 01-16-2000 12:36 PM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet

Thank you, bsquirrel, (Mike) for your message. Your appreciation came at the right time.
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


12 posted 01-16-2000 12:46 PM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet

I have tried to send my thanks through to you, bsquirrel, but it hasn't been recorded. So I am trying once more to tell you that I appreciate your appreciation.
Shrinking Violet will be notified of replies
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