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Open Poetry #5
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among the black
| Open Poetry #5 |
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among the black |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa 
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A fading sun sets in once more to question what its shining for upon a world cold to the core. frozen upon its days. then the star of brilliant light that softly weeped into the night with sorrow gave up in his fight to bless us with his rays. the empty moon with brother gone grew weary with no coming dawn and faded with his power drawn out from his very mind. and here we sit among the black to reason why we wont have back the very thing we’ve come to lack a light among the blind. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I think that this poem is alot deeper then I think. Great work. Parker |
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Bbuzz Member
since 1999-12-17
Posts 76Washinton State |
Kevin. Not only a great poet,But a prophet as well. You see VERY VERY well for someone so young. The Bible says the same thing in different words. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Kevin , this is so good your a wonderful poet  Very deep poem |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
haley, thanks i think its deeper than i thought it was too bbuzz, your comp poem still rings truer =) whiskey, hehe i smile everytime i see pebbles grace my poems, nice hearing from you |
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Rus Bowden Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 139 |
Hi Kevin, This is a remarkably good verse that I read over and over for all it's nuances and the whole of it. Super! Rus |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
thanks rus, id be humble if you read it but once, welcome my friend |
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~ViXeN~ Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 93Guelph, Ont. Canada |
wow kev, yet another great one. i still like the one you wrote for me best =-) hehe |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You definitely impressed me with this one. To think such well-crafted, haunting images can come from the simple rising and setting of the sun and moon. Very enjoyable. Mike |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
kevin: i've read a lot of your work in a number of forums since i've been here and this is by FAR my favorite... the rythym and rhyme lend themselves well to the subject matter as the rising and falling sun and moon are kept in cadence, so is the verse... so many things can be pulled from the symbolizm in this work... bravo sincerely, **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Kevin, yet another great poem!! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful poem Kevin--you did a great job with this one! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree! Great poem, Kevin! Well done! Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Nicely done, Kevin. Good thoughts tied together nicely presented in an excellent rhyme scheme...............a complete package. |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
vix =) shhhh thats ours mike, maybe we should be haunted by it pk, i agree, the symbolism makes the poem er, hehe ER never noticed that, thanks for the reply martie and d =) thanks for being here to read,couldnt do it without you what can i say balladeer, thats my 1 to your 99 whose winning anyways? =P |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kevin- You simply astonish me with the maturity of your work. I particularly like the images occuring between the sun/stars/moon and the light/black. Awesome ... just awesome. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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