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Passions in Poetry

among the black

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Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


0 posted 01-14-2000 06:32 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Kevin

A fading sun sets in once more
to question what its shining for
upon a world cold to the core.
frozen upon its days.

then the star of brilliant light
that softly weeped into the night
with sorrow gave up in his fight
to bless us with his rays.

the empty moon with brother gone
grew weary with no coming dawn
and faded with his power drawn
out from his very mind.

and here we sit among the black
to reason why we wont have back
the very thing we’ve come to lack
a light among the blind.
© Copyright 2000 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


1 posted 01-14-2000 07:15 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

I think that this poem is alot deeper then I think. Great work.

Parker
Bbuzz
Member
since 12-17-1999
Posts 76
Washinton State


2 posted 01-14-2000 07:45 PM       View Profile for Bbuzz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bbuzz

Kevin. Not only a great poet,But a prophet as well. You see VERY VERY well for someone so young. The Bible says the same thing in different words.
whiskey
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since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


3 posted 01-14-2000 07:51 PM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Kevin , this is so good your a wonderful poet   Very deep poem
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


4 posted 01-14-2000 07:55 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

haley, thanks i think its deeper than i thought it was too

bbuzz, your comp poem still rings truer =)

whiskey, hehe i smile everytime i see pebbles grace my poems, nice hearing from you
Rus Bowden
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


5 posted 01-14-2000 08:10 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

Hi Kevin,

This is a remarkably good verse that I read over and over for all it's nuances and the whole of it.  Super!

Rus
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


6 posted 01-14-2000 08:34 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

thanks rus, id be humble if you read it but once, welcome my friend
~ViXeN~
Member
since 01-09-2000
Posts 95
Guelph, Ont. Canada


7 posted 01-15-2000 02:34 AM       View Profile for ~ViXeN~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~ViXeN~

wow kev, yet another great one.
i still like the one you wrote for me best
=-)
hehe
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 01-15-2000 03:55 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

You definitely impressed me with this one. To think such well-crafted, haunting images can come from the simple rising and setting of the sun and moon. Very enjoyable.

Mike
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 12-04-1999
Posts 552
new orleans


9 posted 01-15-2000 03:59 AM       View Profile for poetry_kills   Email poetry_kills   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit poetry_kills's Home Page   View IP for poetry_kills

kevin: i've read a lot of your work in a number of forums since i've been here and this is by FAR my favorite... the rythym and rhyme lend themselves well to the subject matter as the rising and falling sun and moon are kept in cadence, so is the verse... so many things can be pulled from the symbolizm in this work... bravo  

sincerely,

 **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


10 posted 01-16-2000 02:52 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Kevin, yet another great poem!!  

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


11 posted 01-16-2000 04:15 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Wonderful poem Kevin--you did a great job with this one!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


12 posted 01-16-2000 08:21 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I agree! Great poem, Kevin! Well done!

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~

Balladeer
Administrator
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 01-16-2000 08:26 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Nicely done, Kevin. Good thoughts tied together nicely presented in an excellent rhyme scheme...............a complete package.
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 11-02-1999
Posts 752
Torrington, Ct, Usa


14 posted 01-16-2000 09:49 PM       View Profile for Kevin   Email Kevin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kevin

vix =) shhhh thats ours

mike, maybe we should be haunted by it

pk, i agree, the symbolism makes the poem

er, hehe ER never noticed that, thanks for the reply

martie and d =) thanks for being here to read,couldnt do it without you

what can i say balladeer, thats my 1 to your 99 whose winning anyways? =P
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


15 posted 01-16-2000 09:59 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Kevin-
You simply astonish me with
the maturity of your work.

I particularly like the images
occuring between the
sun/stars/moon and the light/black.

Awesome ... just awesome.

~*Marge*~

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

 
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