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Passions in Poetry

Doors (reposted for Queen - RainbowGirl)

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 01-14-2000 11:06 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

Queen - here's the poem - only slightly reworked to make it flow better in some of the rough spots - I hope you enjoy.


I dreamt last night of an endless hall,
With an infinity of doors along each wall.
Each door was open, some just a crack,
Upon each a sign, "Don't look back."

The suggestive signs made me turn,
To see what behind me I could learn.
But what I saw when I looked back:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.

And so I turned back to the fore,
And thus approached the nearest door.
The sign was engraved on a silver plate,
Each word emblazed of gold inlaid.

A voice warned me, "If you enter here,
The other doors will disappear."
And so in fear of choosing wrong,
I closed that door and moved along.

Each new door echoed the first one's call,
So I closed each I passed down that hall.
When I turned to see the doors I'd latched:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.

A chilling pulse ran down my spine,
As I turned again to the door-lined
hall that ran into infinity,
And beckoned with doors opened for me.

I ran headlong in maddened flight,
Down that hall of enticing lights.
And as my panic drove me on,
Each door slammed closed, and then was gone.

I realized the doors that I passed by,
Delimited the passing of my life.
The signs were there to give peace of mind,
When I chose to leave that hall behind.

I stopped at last, and again turned back:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.
But this time I breathed a deeper breath,
And walked through this door to my rest.

Walk slowly down your doorlined hall,
You'll know your door when it calls.
And when you choose, you'll finally be
At no hall, no doors, no floor; just peace.

© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 01-14-2000 11:13 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

How can I type when I'm busy applauding? *S*
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


2 posted 01-14-2000 11:16 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Thank you, lil Belle
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
3 posted 01-14-2000 11:24 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Wow!!  This piece is truly exceptional Lng Jhn! I too, applaud you Sir!!!!!
I'm saving this in my favorites....

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


4 posted 01-14-2000 12:30 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

LJA: Thanks for that, I love it as much this time as I did last...truly superb!

HUSG

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


5 posted 01-14-2000 12:37 PM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

Hey Sailor, I've been told you picked up the door with the sign saying "Hooters" ...  

Wonderful poem ... "I ran headlong in maddened flight, Down that hall of enticing lights" ... I love these 2 lines ..  
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


6 posted 01-14-2000 12:40 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Oh man, LongJohn.  This gave me chills at first, then brought tears to my eyes.  Beautiful piece.  What a powerful message.
Tipping my hat.

Michael
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


7 posted 01-14-2000 12:51 PM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

Stunning poem.
Very well thought out and much deeper than could be expressed in a few lines.
Rus Bowden
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


8 posted 01-14-2000 12:52 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

Hi LngJhnAg,

A frightful journey of doors closing and opportunities lost.  Great read.



Each new door echoed the first one's call,
So I closed each I passed down that hall.
When I turned to see the doors I'd latched:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.

Rus
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


9 posted 01-14-2000 01:37 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Pepper - thank you for that wonderful comment.  Saving a poem is the best of compliments.

Queen - At your service, m'Lady.  Whatever you wish, may it come to be.

Jef - LMAO@Hooters door - Man!  That was a classic comeback! lol

Hey there, Michael.  Yanoo, we sailors and sailors-to-be gotta support each other.  Thanks for the read on the poem's effect.  Often, we get compliments on style, but - OH - those comments on affect. . . .

spiked - thanks much for that read - sometimes it does take more lines - I often marvel at the poets who can express more with fewer lines - now, THAT is real talent.

Rus - yanno - the original intent of this poem when I started writing it was exactly that - I wanted to write about how our choices close some doors while they open others.  Somehow, I got sidetracked (as I often do when I write) and it became a story of how we choose to find our final rest.  Thanks for seeing that deeply into my motivation for this poem.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


10 posted 01-14-2000 04:55 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

This is quite the extended metaphor for life, m'dear.... Nice job indeed...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


11 posted 01-14-2000 05:19 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Well written piece, and enjoyable to read. Flows very smoothly.
I, too, am applauding!
Liz
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


12 posted 01-15-2000 09:32 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Nan - A compliment from you is the ultimate affirmation that, just maybe, I did something right.  Thank you, kind Lady.

Ms. Santos - Thank you, too.  Don't close the wrong door.

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


13 posted 01-16-2000 03:06 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

*clap clap clap*  Bravo!  Exquisite poem!


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


14 posted 01-27-2000 04:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

How did I miss this one.......this is fantastic, Mike!
lasexycat
New Member
since 01-27-2000
Posts 5
Louisiana


15 posted 01-27-2000 04:57 PM       View Profile for lasexycat   Email lasexycat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit lasexycat's Home Page   View IP for lasexycat

WOW! Still have goose bumps.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


16 posted 01-27-2000 05:55 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Lessee?...I was gonna post something about "Behind the Green Door".....The "Door" to the Mustang Ranch....Or Monty Hall, that hall, door one two or three.....but I guess that this one has so much class and was even better than what I'd usually expect from you that I'll just let the crude comments slide...well done Mike.....you truly have a talent when you're not trying to chastize me......
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


17 posted 01-27-2000 06:07 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

This is definitely a keeper, Mike, one of your best.

Just ignore all those jealous folks
making silly jokes!

They just wish their dreams would hold
half of what this poem has told!

Corinne
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


18 posted 01-28-2000 12:40 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

WOW....Wonderful poem!!!!!
CrazyChick
Member
since 01-05-2000
Posts 134


19 posted 01-28-2000 01:31 AM       View Profile for CrazyChick   Email CrazyChick   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CrazyChick

Great work!!!   I really enjoyed this one  
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


20 posted 01-28-2000 06:44 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

LngJhnAg-
This is just an intriguing piece of work.

It reaffirms what my grandmother always told me ... 'Close one door behind you before you knock on another.'

A truly wonderful look at those doors.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

 
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