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Open Poetry #5
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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2000-01-14 11:06 AM


Queen - here's the poem - only slightly reworked to make it flow better in some of the rough spots - I hope you enjoy.


I dreamt last night of an endless hall,
With an infinity of doors along each wall.
Each door was open, some just a crack,
Upon each a sign, "Don't look back."

The suggestive signs made me turn,
To see what behind me I could learn.
But what I saw when I looked back:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.

And so I turned back to the fore,
And thus approached the nearest door.
The sign was engraved on a silver plate,
Each word emblazed of gold inlaid.

A voice warned me, "If you enter here,
The other doors will disappear."
And so in fear of choosing wrong,
I closed that door and moved along.

Each new door echoed the first one's call,
So I closed each I passed down that hall.
When I turned to see the doors I'd latched:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.

A chilling pulse ran down my spine,
As I turned again to the door-lined
hall that ran into infinity,
And beckoned with doors opened for me.

I ran headlong in maddened flight,
Down that hall of enticing lights.
And as my panic drove me on,
Each door slammed closed, and then was gone.

I realized the doors that I passed by,
Delimited the passing of my life.
The signs were there to give peace of mind,
When I chose to leave that hall behind.

I stopped at last, and again turned back:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.
But this time I breathed a deeper breath,
And walked through this door to my rest.

Walk slowly down your doorlined hall,
You'll know your door when it calls.
And when you choose, you'll finally be
At no hall, no doors, no floor; just peace.


© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2000-01-14 11:13 AM


How can I type when I'm busy applauding? *S*
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 2000-01-14 11:16 AM


Thank you, lil Belle
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
3 posted 2000-01-14 11:24 AM


Wow!!  This piece is truly exceptional Lng Jhn! I too, applaud you Sir!!!!!
I'm saving this in my favorites....

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon



RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
4 posted 2000-01-14 12:30 PM


LJA: Thanks for that, I love it as much this time as I did last...truly superb!

HUSG

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.


JTF
Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319
France
5 posted 2000-01-14 12:37 PM


Hey Sailor, I've been told you picked up the door with the sign saying "Hooters" ...  

Wonderful poem ... "I ran headlong in maddened flight, Down that hall of enticing lights" ... I love these 2 lines ..  

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 2000-01-14 12:40 PM


Oh man, LongJohn.  This gave me chills at first, then brought tears to my eyes.  Beautiful piece.  What a powerful message.
Tipping my hat.

Michael

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
7 posted 2000-01-14 12:51 PM


Stunning poem.
Very well thought out and much deeper than could be expressed in a few lines.

Rus Bowden
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 139

8 posted 2000-01-14 12:52 PM


Hi LngJhnAg,

A frightful journey of doors closing and opportunities lost.  Great read.



Each new door echoed the first one's call,
So I closed each I passed down that hall.
When I turned to see the doors I'd latched:
No hall, no doors, no floor, just black.

Rus
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
9 posted 2000-01-14 01:37 PM


Pepper - thank you for that wonderful comment.  Saving a poem is the best of compliments.

Queen - At your service, m'Lady.  Whatever you wish, may it come to be.

Jef - LMAO@Hooters door - Man!  That was a classic comeback! lol

Hey there, Michael.  Yanoo, we sailors and sailors-to-be gotta support each other.  Thanks for the read on the poem's effect.  Often, we get compliments on style, but - OH - those comments on affect. . . .

spiked - thanks much for that read - sometimes it does take more lines - I often marvel at the poets who can express more with fewer lines - now, THAT is real talent.

Rus - yanno - the original intent of this poem when I started writing it was exactly that - I wanted to write about how our choices close some doors while they open others.  Somehow, I got sidetracked (as I often do when I write) and it became a story of how we choose to find our final rest.  Thanks for seeing that deeply into my motivation for this poem.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
10 posted 2000-01-14 04:55 PM


This is quite the extended metaphor for life, m'dear.... Nice job indeed...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2000-01-14 05:19 PM


Well written piece, and enjoyable to read. Flows very smoothly.
I, too, am applauding!
Liz

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
12 posted 2000-01-15 09:32 AM


Nan - A compliment from you is the ultimate affirmation that, just maybe, I did something right.  Thank you, kind Lady.

Ms. Santos - Thank you, too.  Don't close the wrong door.


Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
13 posted 2000-01-16 03:06 PM


*clap clap clap*  Bravo!  Exquisite poem!


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

14 posted 2000-01-27 04:48 PM


How did I miss this one.......this is fantastic, Mike!
lasexycat
New Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 5
Louisiana
15 posted 2000-01-27 04:57 PM


WOW! Still have goose bumps.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
16 posted 2000-01-27 05:55 PM


Lessee?...I was gonna post something about "Behind the Green Door".....The "Door" to the Mustang Ranch....Or Monty Hall, that hall, door one two or three.....but I guess that this one has so much class and was even better than what I'd usually expect from you that I'll just let the crude comments slide...well done Mike.....you truly have a talent when you're not trying to chastize me......
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
17 posted 2000-01-27 06:07 PM


This is definitely a keeper, Mike, one of your best.

Just ignore all those jealous folks
making silly jokes!

They just wish their dreams would hold
half of what this poem has told!

Corinne

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
18 posted 2000-01-28 12:40 PM


WOW....Wonderful poem!!!!!
CrazyChick
Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132

19 posted 2000-01-28 01:31 AM


Great work!!!   I really enjoyed this one  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
20 posted 2000-01-28 06:44 AM


LngJhnAg-
This is just an intriguing piece of work.

It reaffirms what my grandmother always told me ... 'Close one door behind you before you knock on another.'

A truly wonderful look at those doors.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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